Suzy Q

Dear Suzy,

Seems like this letter comes up so fast. I'm glad I have a space to write you, even though you'll never receive it. Today marks 13 years since you left us, every day I think of you and that will never go away. I can't watch video's or look at pictures without wanting to cry. Though as time goes on I know that it gets a little easier, I'll never stop missing you or loving you, but I now feel peaceful knowing that your always around me. Sometimes I swear I can feel it.

I sometimes think about all the things your missing out on, but your not missing out on anything, you really are here. Your in my heart, mind and your in the air with us all. You maybe in a better place, in a heaven with no hurt, but your there to help me through my struggles and sometimes that's all I need is to know you're here.

I will spend this day doing what I normally do, taking care of Evelyn and missing you and home. But I know I'll find myself listening to some songs that remind me of you, maybe even watch She's All That just because that's what we would do together. I might even watch the video I made for the family after you died. You see how much I cry during that, but its just because I know that I have that with me, and that is who you were. It brings so many memories back to me..some that are gone are gone forever, but I can't wait to hear the stories when we meet again.

I know this year you've been joined in heaven by a few friends of yours and of mine. Tell them hi and that I love them all. I know you have probably seen my unborn child, and you've probably held it in your arms. It just makes having children that much more special to me. You loved them before I even knew them.

I miss you Suzy. I wish you were here all the time. We will be together forever someday.

Love your amazing special little sister,
Lizzie.

Suzy Q

Today is the day that I hate. Its my sisters death anniversary. I like to call it Suzys Day...its depressing to remember that 11 years ago I lost my older sister.

I am not going to write a depressing post about how much I miss her. Its very clear how much I do. My depressed feelings about her suddenly leaving are personal. But I want to write things about her that I remember. I was 10 when she died, almost 11. I don't remember much, then things like her favorite color Purple. Her favorite flower, Daisy. Her contagious laugh that still rumbles through my head. Her funny laugh. Or that fact that she was and will always be the best sister I could have ever asked for.

Evelyn will never know her Aunt Suzy, but she'll always have her with her. Evelyn's middle name is Suzanne after her auntie. Suzy would have loved that. She always felt like she was the better sister.

Suzy was 9 years older then me, with no siblings in between. So Suzy was like a 2nd Mom to me. She was the role model I needed to be an awesome Mom. She even took me early school shopping. She even tried to sneek me out of school just to get ice cream, and once let me steer her car. Yes, she was an awesome big sister!

I miss her every step of the way. Even though so days I feel like I have outlived her (she died when she was only 20), I know that she is so happy with where I am at in my life. She would be so proud of the Mom and Wife I am. She'd love that I support my husband so much, and that I try to never take a day for granted. She would just be plain proud of me.

I love you so much Suzy Q!! I know your always looking down over me. I miss you every step of the way, and I will always remember what an amazing big sister you were, and I still believe you are. One day we will reunite, and have good times once again.

For those that don't know Suzy this is her...

this is Suzy and I. 

I really did have the best big sister!!

33

Today is my late sister Suzanne's birthday. She is my sister that Evelyn's middle name comes from. She would have been 33 today. Its still weird thinking I cant share all these memories with her. I wish she could have met Evelyn as well as her nephews. But I know she has sent these angels to us with a little piece of her heart.
I miss you every day Suzy Q, cant wait to see you again some day.