Its hard to marry a person who's just got one parent and that one parent isn't stable in her life. Its been a trip for me since both my parents are stable and are still married, so I have never experienced this side of the parent worlds. As much as I have tried to be understanding sometimes it can be hard.
P hasn't seen his Mom since December 2011, so Evelyn was 5 months old. His Mom cannot afford to fly out here and California is just too expensive so we agreed to fly her out here for a week. We have done this before and it ended up being a total disaster for me and her, so I wasn't looking forward to it at all. We made sure she'd be here when P had a 4 day weekend, so it wouldn't just be me and her constantly. That ended up working out pretty good, except for her sleeping all over the couch and it raining so we didn't go outside with Ev much. As soon as P headed back to work it went straight back to exactly what I thought it would be between me and her...no conversations, or one sided conversations, her sleeping on the couch, me taking care of everything and cleaning up after her messes. Not to mention she smokes and was bringing Ev around it...talk about a furious mother constantly and my house, favorite throw blanket, and such just smelling! I felt like I tried, I even took her shopping for Evelyn but it didn't work out like how I thought it would...and I just felt frustrated. So the last night I went to bed early to get away from her ignoring me and let P spend his last night with his Mom for probably a while. After P came to bed we talked and he thanked me for trying...and you all don't know how much that means to me.
Yesterday I took her to the airport, and the drive pretty much went how I thought it would, one sided convo. I got her to the airport and she cried and Evelyn just stared I hugged her and told her I love her...because whether we get along, I do. A few hours after I got home and I was dealing with the mess of men ripping up my floors, I got a text message from her thanking me for giving her a grandchild and for loving her son so much and that she loved me. I wrote her back and let her know I was happy to give her a grandchild and that P was the love of my life, and that I loved her too.
As much as I would have loved to of had a conversation like that in person, I know that this might be all she can give me right now. We still have a long way to go of understanding each other, and its going to take a while...but just getting that message went a long way for me and I'm really glad she said something.
3 comments:
It sounds like you're trying so hard! It's difficult with another family.
Dealing with the in-laws can sure be difficult, but I'm glad she at least made the effort to send you that message. Hope it gets better for you!
I completely understand the difficult MIL. It can be hard. But that text had to have been so nice to receive even when your relationship isn't easy with her.
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