a weird trip home.

I have been in Utah the last two weeks and I gotta say...this is weird. I usually am all about being here, even though it's not technically home anymore, I still get a sense of peace being here.. suddenly like my life is normal again. Living on an Army Post, which I love BTW, I basically live and breathe Army life, so coming back to my hometown just makes me remember that not everyone's lives are crazy and hectic like mine.

This go around even though I have felt some peace and quite at home... its still weird. I am not even sure if its just because I haven't heard from my husband in a few weeks, or if its just the atmosphere. I am here and thinking of my sister and my good friend who have passed away. Thinking of my Grandpa who's Alzheimer's is getting worse, thinking of what life would be like if I ever really did move home ever again. I usually say that I will move back home if P ended up deploying again, especially since the kids are young... or unborn, and I would be so far away from family support... but the more I am here the more I realize that I don't think I want to. I like being treated as a guest anyways, so why live here when I could randomly visit and get all that attention.

I guess our lives just change so much while we are away and growing up into our own adulthood and parenthood. I've outgrown the idea of living at home unless I really needed to. I love my life in NC, still not a fan of P's unit but hey I am finally finding some good friends and its been a long time coming. I'm really growing up.