How I ended up co-sleeping...

I have never wanted to co-sleep... I really didn't. When I was pregnant with Evelyn and I was living at home, my brother and his wife were co-sleeping with their son. I saw the good, the bad and all the in-between with co-sleeping. Because my nephew was almost one when I moved home, I didn't see it as a big deal...but the farther it went the more I saw it as an inconvenience. To this day my nephew is 3 1/2 and is still in bed with them. I've never ever minded Evelyn sleeping in bed with us on certain occasions such as her being sick or being on vacations. I just never wanted to have an older kid in bed with me.

When I first got pregnant with baby #2, I was seriously ex-haust-ed! no joke. I had never felt so tired in my life. Evelyn started getting up at 5:30 and when she would come into my room to get me, I'd pull her into bed with me, and she'd go straight back to sleep... here we are, I am now 28 weeks along and about 5am every morning, Evelyn is climbing in bed with me to sleep... and earlier if she can.

I haven't minded it. Its been nice having her there, she sleeps so well. But I also realize that with a new baby on the way and about to come into my room to sleep (in a bassinet), that having both my girls right there might not be so smart. I also don't want to let Evelyn think that her new sister is getting more attention, or that Mommy loves the new baby more then her. So I'm at a cross roads.

P is not a fan of Evelyn sleeping in bed with me after he leaves for work... and he's honestly not happy that the new baby will be in our room when she's first born. But its not his choice ;).... just kidding.

I am not 100% on what to do. I am sure that I need to talk Evelyn into going back into her own bed... but when I have done that, I felt bad, I miss my little baby and she'll only be my only child for less then 3 short months now. I just miss her. But I also don't want conflict when the baby comes, especially if I am not sleeping well, or the baby some how ends up in my bed and then I won't know Evelyn's in the bed as well... its so confusing!

I've given myself a little break... told myself to just love on Evelyn a little longer. I'll always want to love on her... but she's almost 2 1/2... which means she's almost 3! and soon... she wont want to cuddle me... and I cannot stand that thought. I don't know what I'll do but for now... I am just going to hold onto my little one a little longer.