When I was in Oklahoma a few of our friends had just moved down to Ft. Sill and we were able to visit them for a little while. It was a lot of fun..also brought up memories of why I am glad we moved away from some of those people. But in the end it was alot of fun.
One of our friends had to take me to the airport in OKC, which was fun! The whole ride we talked about having babies and such. This woman is not a mom. She wants to finish school and I think the idea of being a parent generally scares her. But I had, had 2 friends have kids in the time period I was in Oklahoma and it sorta just came up. As we were talking the woman said...
"Evelyn is seriously my Birth Control"
...At first I didnt think much of this. But as I sorta had time of the plane rides to think I started to think of how rude that was. I get that my child is into everything, especially in a Non-Baby Proof house, but I generally am helping her learn to not play with certain things. But when you have wine glasses on a shelf near the floor, she's probably gonna go check them out.
I dont like that she refured to my kid as her birth control either. I get it if you dont want to have children, now or ever. I dont judge you on that. But dont tell me that my kid doesnt want to make you have kids. My child is an angel the majority of the time, in a home and a space she knows. But you take her into someones house that she's never been in before then yes she is going to want to explore. She is 13 months old! Its natural she's learning her world and her boundries.
I have friends that never want kids, or friends that are just not ready and thats their choice. Sometimes I dont understand but I get that its not their cup of tea at the moment. But thats all you have to say...dont refure to someone elses kid as birth control. Its rude.
Evelyn can drive me nuts but I love her to death! She is just learning and I know it wont be this hectic forever. She will learn her boundries and she will learn to ask about if she can play with things or not. Until then its her learning and exploring and me following her all over telling her not to touch hot or dangerous things. Its still super fun!
8 comments:
I cannot believe she would say that! I know people often have those thoughts in private at times when it comes to other people's children, but that is NEVER something you should say to anyone else. I'm sorry you had to hear that!
Oh my goodness. If she thinks that about Evelyn I'll send her Charlotte. That could be permanent birth control. Some days I'm amazed I even had a second because Charlotte is sassy. I think some people just don't think sometimes. Some people just aren't kid people either and may not ever get it or just don't until they do have kids of their own. But Evelyn has a mom and dad that love her like crazy and do everything to give her the best they can and thank goodness she has parents like you and Paul :)
Wow!! Talk about something that should have never been said! It amazes me the things people think are ok to say. So sorry you had to hear that.
huh, I've heard people say this a lot and I never thought of it as insulting, more of a 'wow, kids are a lot of work and seeing your kids reminds me I'm not ready'. But hearing you're thoughts, I guess it does sound kind of insulting :P
Yeah that is kind of rude. How about "seeing how busy you are with Evelyn makes me want to hold off" or something... I dunno!
I can definitely see how that would be hurtful. I don't have kids, and I would never say that about someone else's child!
You can always look at it positively. I don't personally have a child of my very own, that I gave birth to and had the pleasure of raising from day one. I do, however, have a 7 year old step-son. I love him to pieces, but I have often told his dad (my husband), that he's my birth control right now. I've made the comment before to other friends of mine, but I in no way mean it to be insulting. It's not because the child in question is horrible or even a handful...It's more for the fact that kids (of any age!) are hard work. A lot of time and energy go into the daily grind of raising children. I personally love children, and am proud to say I'm a step-mom and an auntie to many of my friends' kids....But going through pregnancy, raising a baby, then a toddler...and so on, is a lot of times, scary. And this is coming from someone who is raising a child right now! Instead of looking at it as an insult on Evelyn's behavior, look at it as a pat on the back for you...Cause you're rockin' it out, being a Mom. I obviously wasn't there, nor do I know you or your friend (Hi, by the way!), but it's a statement that has left my lips before, and I know I never meant it in regards to someone's "horrible child"...just that it's a lot of work that I might not really be prepared to take on right at this moment. Your friend seems to have her hands full, too, without being a Mom. Maybe deep down she just needs the reassurance that's she's doing good for herself, without adding a baby to the mix. I'm sure it could have been worded differently, but when I was growing up and babysitting a lot, I was told MANY times that other people's children were a good form of birth control (because of all the work). Well, after that long-winded comment, I will click "Publish".
I would have definitely taken that offensively, too.
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