Making the Big Decision to move to Germany!

This is a big one for our family. It hasn't really been a secret that my husband hasn't been happy with the brigade he is in here at Fort Bragg. Since he finished Airborne school and got settled he has been even more unhappy with it, so since we've been here he's been plotting his way to get out of here. When we found out he would have to be here at least 2 years it kinda made life settle down a bit. Since his unit here is now disbanded and he's been dealing with a new brigade it's caused him to want to leave even more. So because his re-enlistment window opened and we are now expecting a baby I told him to do what he needs to do.

We were offered Germany and Alaska straight off the bat! I always knew I'd say yes to Alaska... but Germany? What a big opportunity... and a really scary one! I'm so close to my family, and the goal was to move closer to them... and Germany definitely isn't closer! After a few debates and a few discussions with a friend who's currently living there, we had decided to go for it, but when he went to tell them yes, Germany was off the table. He was disappointed and I even was a little bit. But I knew that P had more goals for his career and even though Germany is an amazing opportunity, there's not much excelling he really can do there... at least what he wants to do.

P decided he wanted to put in for it anyways and see if it got him anywhere, and if it didn't he would finish his Airborne contract (3 years) here at Bragg. Seemed reasonable to me, no moving after having a baby? Awesome! So that happened on a Monday, and I went about my week like normal... I was pretty confident that he wouldn't get it. I got a phone call on Thursday from P and this is how it went;

Me: Hello?
P: Hey! Guess what!!
Me: *thinking he's deploying*... great what now?
P: We are moving to Germany!
Me:....are you freaking kidding me?
P: Nope! I report in May!
Me: Oh shit.
P: You excited?
Me: Give me a few hours. I love you, congrats!
P: Love you too, thanks!

Yepp... I wanted to pass out. It took me a few hours to really process this. I have been excited to move again, but moving to another country? This is a whole new ballgame! I am obviously more excited now then I was for those few moments. I am ridiculously scared of being very far away from family and then something happening to someone. When we first got to Fort Bragg my little sister had 2 emergency surgeries, more crap went on with my little brother and my Grandpa's Alzheimer's got worse. I planned a trip home almost right after getting here, and if you followed my blog, I spent the whole summer in Utah, which was ok since P had trainings to go to anyways! So I'm a little hesitant to move, but knowing how excited my parents are to go to Europe is exciting me! I won't be the one not seeing family for 3 years and they have assured me, which makes me feel like 100x's better!

Its weird though.. I have babies and within months of them being born, I move. Evelyn moved twice in her first year of life! And now this baby will be born here in NC and then 4 months later we will be homeless visiting family and then off to Germany. I am however very happy that P is here and can make this move easy with two kids.

So now that I am excited I have been trying to learn all I can about where I am heading too... for one thing Germany is about $0.24 more expensive per USD, and it seems like you pay for almost everything... bathrooms, grocery carts, letting your kids play in the play area... I mean that's just a little much! But it's an experience, and I have yet to hear one person say they hated Germany... most tell me how much they miss it. So I'm embracing it. I know it will be hard to be far away... but I know that this is one of those once in a lifetime opportunities for us.

Its been about a month...

Hello everyone! I know, I know! Its been about a month since I last blogged... and I really haven't read blogs either...and I wont lie and act like I'll go back and read them because honestly if I don't have the time to blog, I don't have the time to read. But I'll hopefully be working blogging back into my life soon!

When I stopped blogging, I really thought I was done... I felt bad, but I think my time had been ending. But then my dear friend Jennie wrote me and said she was so sad that I hadn't been blogging and really enjoyed my writing... so I decided I should go ahead and try to blog at least once a week.

Since you last heard from me I hit the last week in my 2nd trimester with Baby V. Evelyn turned into a naughty two year old and we found out we will be PCSing to Germany in April! A lot can happen in a month huh!

Anyways... I have more to say and such... but thought I would stop in, say hi.. and I'll be back soon!

a weird trip home.

I have been in Utah the last two weeks and I gotta say...this is weird. I usually am all about being here, even though it's not technically home anymore, I still get a sense of peace being here.. suddenly like my life is normal again. Living on an Army Post, which I love BTW, I basically live and breathe Army life, so coming back to my hometown just makes me remember that not everyone's lives are crazy and hectic like mine.

This go around even though I have felt some peace and quite at home... its still weird. I am not even sure if its just because I haven't heard from my husband in a few weeks, or if its just the atmosphere. I am here and thinking of my sister and my good friend who have passed away. Thinking of my Grandpa who's Alzheimer's is getting worse, thinking of what life would be like if I ever really did move home ever again. I usually say that I will move back home if P ended up deploying again, especially since the kids are young... or unborn, and I would be so far away from family support... but the more I am here the more I realize that I don't think I want to. I like being treated as a guest anyways, so why live here when I could randomly visit and get all that attention.

I guess our lives just change so much while we are away and growing up into our own adulthood and parenthood. I've outgrown the idea of living at home unless I really needed to. I love my life in NC, still not a fan of P's unit but hey I am finally finding some good friends and its been a long time coming. I'm really growing up.

being a SAHM

At the current moment I am processing how to deal with someone. I told this person that it was irresponsible of them to try and get "unemployment" just because they simply don't want to work anymore. They then followed up with me by saying that "I had no room to talk since I live off my husband"...

Now I know from being a SAHM that we all come under fire at one point or another... but I don't understand why. Let me point out first that yes my husband makes the money that pays the bills and puts the food on the table, that is totally true! But... I wonder if this person ever thought about the reason why I stay home. Does it ever occur to them that the reason why I stay home is so our children have at least one parent who is steadily in their lives?

Most MilSpouses are SAHM's or they work from home... no harm in that at all. We live a life that can be uprooted at any moment. We have spouses who deploy sometimes every other year! So is that awful for me to stay home? Absolutely not!

If P and I could not afford for me to stay home with our children, I would gladly get a job. But we make it work! I do the majority of the housework, I take care of Evelyn all day long, I make meals, do grocery shopping, run errands and try to maintain a budget for our family. I try my hardest to make sure that when my husband comes home from a very long day, that he has very little to worry about. Is that bad?

Now yes I told this person off about trying to get fired so she could make unemployment. She doesn't really have a reason other then she wants to be home with kids. Sure that's fine! I completely understand this reasoning. But... she can't afford it. Clearly this is the issue! Its not that I don't think she shouldn't want to stay home with her kids, but that she simply wants to government to pay for her to not work because she chooses this. I don't think that's fair, and I'll be damned if I don't tell her that its wrong. I'll also be dammed if I let her think that every SAHM is a lazy piece of junk.

I know that not every SAHM is a perfect one. Some are the perfect Judy Cleavers and some are really just doing what they can. I like to think I fit myself in the middle of those. I have my good days and my bad. Especially being pregnant, my first thought isn't always what's for dinner...its usually what will I not throw up and how can I sneak in a nap and get the bare minimum of chores done.

I still just don't understand why SAHM's are so hated. Is it because everyone wishes they could stay home? Do they truly believe we are just that lazy? I don't really know... but I know that this is a choice my husband and I made together as a family. I did not wake up and say "I am done working! I am gonna sit at the TV and waste my life away."... believe me sometimes I wish I had a job so I could have some social interaction with someone else besides a two year old. But at the end of the day, I love being a SAHM, I love cleaning, cooking, and best of all raising my daughter(s) and teaching them all about life.

As a SAHM who's also a MilSpouse, I think it's important for me to be home. Because lets face it, deployments, separations and hell even field problems are hard on our children. They miss the other parent and its hard to play both rolls when the other one is away. Not every one can stay home and I think that's even harder to play mom and dad and also be a working parent, and I give props to those that can do it. But I am glad that whenever P has to leave that I know my children will know Mom is here whenever they need me, especially while they are very young.

So even though I really said a lot of things to this person... and was even a little curseful and mean, I still wish that they would think about what they said to me. I am 100% positive I did the right thing by not encouraging her to get fired on purpose to make unemployment... but I hope she know's she's wrong for telling me that "I live off my husband"... My husband never makes me feel like I live off of him. We know we are a family unit and this is what our lives are like right now and we are ok with it. If the day ever comes when I need to get a job, believe me I will, but until then I want to enjoy this time and not feel scrutinized for choosing this.