a weird trip home.

I have been in Utah the last two weeks and I gotta say...this is weird. I usually am all about being here, even though it's not technically home anymore, I still get a sense of peace being here.. suddenly like my life is normal again. Living on an Army Post, which I love BTW, I basically live and breathe Army life, so coming back to my hometown just makes me remember that not everyone's lives are crazy and hectic like mine.

This go around even though I have felt some peace and quite at home... its still weird. I am not even sure if its just because I haven't heard from my husband in a few weeks, or if its just the atmosphere. I am here and thinking of my sister and my good friend who have passed away. Thinking of my Grandpa who's Alzheimer's is getting worse, thinking of what life would be like if I ever really did move home ever again. I usually say that I will move back home if P ended up deploying again, especially since the kids are young... or unborn, and I would be so far away from family support... but the more I am here the more I realize that I don't think I want to. I like being treated as a guest anyways, so why live here when I could randomly visit and get all that attention.

I guess our lives just change so much while we are away and growing up into our own adulthood and parenthood. I've outgrown the idea of living at home unless I really needed to. I love my life in NC, still not a fan of P's unit but hey I am finally finding some good friends and its been a long time coming. I'm really growing up.

Evelyn's Zoo Day!

I knew while I was in Utah I wanted to take Ev to the Zoo. The Zoo here isn't too big, but isn't very small so its almost perfect to try her out and see how she'll do outside, in the hot sun for a few hours. Plus Ev is a big visual learner, the first time she saw a cow up close she said "Mooo" for hours!

Ev had a blast at the Zoo and barely spent any time in her stroller. She saw Monkeys first and all she could say was "EEE's!!" and "AH AH!". But once she saw the Seaotters it was all over for her, the Zoo has the cage where you can see them underwater and Ev got the biggest kick out of watch them swim around and play!

At the Zoo this summer they have a Lego exhibit, where there are all sorts of Lego animals everywhere its pretty cool to see!

Also my nephew Ashton joined in on the fun with us, and he is just the cutest and pushed Ev all over the Zoo in her stoller when he wasn't in it.

It was a pretty great day! Now I really want to take Ev to the Zoo in NC, but we will see..its so hot there!

Prom Queen.

If you at all follow me on Instagram or are even a FB friend of mine, you'd know that recently my little sister got asked to Prom! If your a new follower of mine, my little sister was born very pre-mature and wasn't supposta make it past the age of 3, well this girl just turned 18 this month! She's come a long way! She has serve mental and physical disabilities but she's still just an angel!!

I was so happy someone in her special needs class (an aid) asked her to prom! This is one of the downsides to not living at home, I was so bummed I couldn't be apart of this special day with her. Apparently they do this with a lot of the special needs kids in her class, so they all went in a group date with the teachers as well. They do a ton of things like this as well such as Halloween Parties, beauty pageants (which my sister has done and won Miss Congeniality this year) movie nights and so on and so forth. I had no idea they did this, and I was in high school like 6 years ago!...WOAH.

Well a few days later I got a text from my mom saying that Alisha was nominated for Prom Court! How neat is that?! We were all so happy for her!

So Friday night was Prom night, and my parents went to watch the Promenade and see my sister be introduced as a Junior (my Dad was actually her escort). They saw my sister dance and play around with all the other kids in her class and they said she just had a blast.

Finally it was time to announce who won the Prom Queen...and they announced my sisters name! From what my parents said the whole room roared with clapping and yelling! They said she even loved to dance with the Prom King and everyone just clapped so hard for her!

I am unbelievably touched by these kids! From what my sisters teacher told my parents Alisha won by a landslide! Its such an amazing experience for this girl! She might not remember it in a few days or weeks but to give her something like that is a beautiful gift! I couldn't be more happy and proud of her! She's been the biggest angel in our lives!

I'm heading to Utah.

Not right now though. I booked a flight back home to Utah for a few weeks. I'm super excited and I'm super not!

Don't get me wrong, I love going home and seeing my siblings, niece and nephews. But a full day of traveling with a almost 2 year old who can't move all day long...ya right! Count me out! But this time I'm not coming home just for pleasure. I'm coming home for my Grandma's 80th Birthday!! Pretty much every single one of my cousins is coming in for it, so even though I live the farthest away and I'm dreading the flight there and back...I'm going! Heck I'm not missing out on seeing some family!

I've flown with Evelyn a few times now, and I know how bad it can be, I also know it can be enjoyable....but then again she was one last time I flew with her. So I have so much anxiety about it.

My tips for flying with a toddler for my friends is usually. Have a birth certificate (just incase they check), bring something to pop their ears (binkies, bottles, sippys), new toys to keep them busy, snacks (who cares if they are healthy or not, your keeping them busy and distracted.), and whatever else you need. But I'd recommend not bringing yourself something, if you have a toddler like mine, you wont get to listen to your music or read your book, even if they are sleeping you can't risk moving and waking them up.

This time, I'm still taking my own advice, but this time not bringing one thing for me, besides my cellphone. Also over loading is not happening. I bought a new light weight stroller so I don't have to bring my huge giagantic stroller. New toys, your freaking bet!! Also my Mom is sending me her Kindle, because I'm not chansing breaking my ipad, and my otterbox for it makes it just huge.

I'm only going for 2 weeks, and its a month away but holy crap, I feel like I need to be getting ready now! New outfit for Evelyn for family photos, new shirt for me, new stroller, new toys, snacks and so on and so forth...there is a lot to do!

...I kinda miss just getting on a plane and listening to music and not worrying about Evelyn. Those days were kinda nice.

While I wait...

For my decision on wether I should go to WP or wait for blogger to get its act together I thought I would share my thoughts about whats going on in my life right now.

#1 Religion. I grew up LDS and I have not been active since I was 19. Reasons why are because even though I enjoyed church I always had an issue with the members. The area I grew up in was very rich or not rich, and if you were not a cheerleader/dancer/sports player then you were a loser. I was one of the losers. I always had a difficult time with it. Now that I've grown up and have Evelyn I have thought a little more about going to church, but I am hesitant since I have a husband who didnt grow up religious and like most other people thinks Mormans are freaks. Now I got missionaries knocking on my door and I know they are trying to answer my prayers for how I am feeling, but I feel like that pressure on my husband is not the way to go, and I am backing down. I dont know what I am going to do.

#2 Going home or not. P has a 10 day field in March, and it would be the perfect time to go home. However, I am one of those people who cares too much about what people think, and I dont deal with stress very well. So traveling with a 1 1/2 year old for 7 hours again sounds like hell. My parents have offered for me to come to Utah and they will give me some points to make the trip...but I just dont know if I want to do that. 7 hours should be no big deal to me, but with Evelyn wanting to be independant its super freaking hard! All she wants is to get down and play and I can't let her. I bought movies and apps for her to use, and she just hated it. But I do miss home, I hate that my almost 3 year old nephew doesnt know who I am. I need to start taking more advantage of these oppertunitys to go home and not be scared about pissing people off on the plane.

#3 Being a better Mom. I'll be the first to admit, somedays I just seriously dont want to do anything but sit in front of the TV and daze out. I love staying home and having this oppertunity and I dont always take advantage of it. Sometimes Evelyn and I go a few days without exploring, and I am getting worse at letting it go. Since I stopped eating so much junk and drinking soda, I have felt some more energy and we've gone out a little more. I know Evelyn enjoys it and I want to get better at doing more artsy and sensory play with her, she loves to color and loves to mimic me when I paint. I know its ok to have a few days here and there where you just dont do as much, but seriously the pressures of other moms being "super mom" so gets to you. Its almost made me want to delete my social media all together so I can just be the Mom that I can be without feeling more pressure.

#4 Baby maybe? Thats all thats on my mind. Its in my dreams. Its in P's and I's conversations. I'm preparing my body for it, but losing weight and eating healthier but man I wish it was go time now. I have to remind myself that I am not that old, and the longer I wait the more Evelyn will be into it and the more time I'll feel comfortable bonding with a newborn when Evelyn is at school or whatever. I know I am in the mind set of getting more healthier to get ready to get pregnant, and hopefully somewhere in this year P and I will decide its time. But babies are on my mind like crazy right now.

When you feel done..

I've wrote before about P's and mines feelings about re-enlisting. His window opens in May, and for the most part we have been ready to re-enlist, move away from Ft. Bragg (he hates it here), and start a new adventure. But yesterday our minds started to change.

Obviously we have a while before we have the option to make anything offical, but it still crosses my mind on a daily basis.

Yesterday I had an appointment with a dental surgeon to get my wisdom teeth looked at..and no surprise with lack of sleep and lots of other things on my mind, I totally forgot and missed my appointment. They called me and rescheduled for another day and I picked a day that P said he usually is good with coming home for a bit. As soon as I told him he reminded me this week will be busy and he has a jump this week, so it wont. I'll admit that I still get super annoyed and act a little teenagerish when I get upset. So I went into Evelyns room (where she was), and procedded to tweet some frustrations and I'll admit I cried a bit.

P had no idea I was crying or upset, but thats because I dont like him to see me cry. So he came in to talk to me, saw me upset and we procedded to talk. I admitted how frustrating it can be to not have family around and friends that stay home to baby-sit. I know I can register Evelyn for hourly care, but everytime I bring it up with P he says "ya lets do it", and thats all that happens.

After a while I finally just said..."Lets get out"...and he said "Ya? Seriously?" and I said "Serious as a heartattack."

I am not sure how we really are going to make the decision to get out. Getting out scares me, but my parents have offered us the basement in their house until we can buy a house and get jobs, which is fantastic. So I'm not worried, my old job in Utah has been offered back to me anytime we come back to Utah, and with P being a Veteran, it shouldnt be too bad to find a job for him. Especially since he is concidering becoming a Cop.

We have our options, but P is 100% sure on one thing, we are moving away from Ft. Bragg ASAP.

Who knows what the decision will be, but latley I feel done. I love this life and living in so many cool places, but honestly, living near family always seems more appealing.

Peace out Utah!!

Evelyn, My Mom, My Sister and I have jumped on a plane and are freaking out of here!!

(excuse me for taking the picture)

I have been waiting for this day for 3 months (technically 3 months and 3 weeks!) and in a few days my hubby will be back at Fort Bragg with me!

My Mom is going to be a huge help so P and I can go out on a few dates PLUS she is going to help me decorate for Halloween for the 2nd year in a row! Which I will show a picture when its done cause I love Halloween so much!!

Welp Blog world I will see you all another day!!

Missing NC

Before I got to Utah I was so excited to come see family, be with my friends, take some breaks from being a Mommy and of course eat some delicious food. But as it turns out I am really missing my normal life.

If I went back now, it would be pretty pointless. My husband is still off doing trainings so my house is empty. If I was there I would be wishing I was in Utah.

I miss my life. I never thought I'd see the day...I am truley an adult, and I dont think I have seen that until I got back to Utah. I love living my life away in North Carolina, living with my husband, rasing my child, having our own things, and most importantly...being an actualy adult and not worrying about offending other people with the things I do, say or even buy.

While life in Utah should be perfect, its really not. With a sick Grandpa, a brother in and out of trouble, a nephew destroying Evelyn's things, and my little sisters problems, I am looking forward to getting my life back to my perfect normal. I thought I would get along with my SIL alot more this time around, and thats not the case so my brother and I hardly hang out.

My friends are awesome...the few I have. But one is going through a divorce and the other is constantly in a make-up/break-up relationship. I concider it bad mojo, and I try to not involve myself in drama that I cannot help with from 3,000 miles away. Dont get me wrong, I am there for my friends, but when I leave, there is not much I can do, so I dont want them to rely on me and then me leave.

I'm thinking next time I will be staying for a lot shorter of a time. But I'm doing my best to enjoy my time and enjoy the time I have left with family.

How do you feel about coming home for such long periods of time?

Family Photos.

While Hubs was in Utah for his 2 week leave we got family photos done! Now maybe its just my husband, but he hates doing pictures. Usually leading up the the process he is complaining about the money, and how he bought me an expensive camera for this exact reason. Blah Blah Blah...he did buy me a nice camera...that I didnt ask for. I love my camera though! He didnt buy me the nessesary equiptment for me to take out own family photos though. At least not the ones with us not holding the camera ourselves. So I enlisted the help of the girl who took our engagment photos/already married photos, deployment photos and 1st family photos. She isnt professional..she does it for fun, and she does a great job!

these are the past photos she's done...

Not bad right? Ya I love her! I've known her almost my whole like so I am happy to let her do photos for us!

Here's the most recent ones that wer have done. We did them at The Great Salt Lake. I love them!

I think these photos are deffinitly worth it!

Whats Going On?

Besides thew post I had yesterday about my Grandpa there is quite a few different things going around in my life right now.

First..Diet...Oh how I am hating to diet! I hate working out! (I stopped my yoga after I had some major pains down in my...ya know area, still need to call my doctor and make sure they arnt cysts). I also always feel like my excuses are legit! Like the one I feel is pretty legit...

"my neighborhood office in Bragg has a room for kids, but its competley seperate from the work out area and the window is too tall for me to see Evelyn from the workout area"

Legit right? Ya..until you think about the Hubs comes home from work and can babysit. Oh ya...Liz good excuse huh! I guess you can call me a clingy wife but I actually love to spend a ton of time with my husband! I like to go out without him, dont get me wrong, but if I dont have to I dont like to.
Now I am in Utah and I can go work out..there is an Army Depot here for free and I have parents who would love to babysit...but do I go? nope. Why?...because;

"Evelyn is my responciblity"

Its the truth and legit. Its mostly me putting it off. I know lots of people who work out say its 5% of your day to work out for an hour...well that one hour I could be working out could be spent with my kid or cleaning or flat out being lazy and watching tv. Yepp thats how I look at it.

BUT I know I am fat. I know I got weight to loose. I know I need to do it. If the Hubs and I decide to have another baby, I need to have this weight off of me, for health reasons. I am by no means morbidy obese..even if my BMI thing says I am Obese..I am not! I have big boobs! HUGE difference! WW is still working for me...even though I'll admit I just had a Drumstick. I am still doing it and trying my best! My Mom and I are doing a diet and I sorta want to make it a challenge...because I personally do not like weighing the same as my mom.

Second..I'm already getting cracking on Halloween! I picked out Evelyn costume and I am making it! I hope I am at least! and its gonna be amazing! :) Also my Mom wants to do crafts with my and my SIL and that will be way fun! Its alot nicer to actually get along with my SIL now.

Third..Evelyn...oh my gosh. Up twice a night...out of habit and the Hubs is mad when I try to let her CIO...the girl still wants a bottle at night...and the Hubs is no help when it comes to trying to sleep train her again. So I am stuck in this thing between wanting him to leave so I can sleep through the night again, and me just giving up and giving her a bottle at night...I know I am failing.

Everyone keeps telling me not to worry so bad..she has been 1 for 12 days now. But I had my goals set out and I feel like I fail them. I fail with my diet, I fail with my kid, I fail myself...and I hate feeling like a failure.

I am ready to start sleep training her again...and the way I am going to start is buy actually litterally throwing her bottles in the trash can. The day the Hubs leaves I am throwing them away...and not buying new ones. I am gonna be a mean momma. Well to her.

At first I thought she was waking up this much because she was so hungry...but no we pack this girl really full and give her a bath and she still wakes up. Its habit. Its annoying...this Momma is dying of sleep deprivation.

Fourth..I say I am ready for the Hubs to go back to NC...and its sorta true. I want to sleep train Evelyn, get back on a budget, not eat out all the time. Oh, and go back to not feeling like I want to punch him in the head so much anymore.

Because if I hear this;
"I'm on leave I shouldn't have to do (insert chore here) right now"

One more time I am gonna loose my mind. I dont get a vacation from Evelyn! I maybe here and not have a whole house to clean but I still clean and I still have to make sure Evelyn is fed, changed and bathed on a daily basis! That saying may have worked when he was on R&R from Iraq, but he is about to go sit in a class all day and then have weekends off where he goes and hangs out with buddies from Fort Riley soon! and thats his vacation! I dont get one! Yepp..thats my rant.

Like how Optimistic I can be ;)

Over the Weekend

I feel like even though its been 5 days without blogging, its been 40. I must really like to blog. :)

As I said before we went to a family cabin on Wednesday with just Hubs, Evelyn and I am it was AMAZING! It was so nice for us to have some family time and do what we wanted with no one around! Shortly after Hubs gets back to Bragg he will be packing up to leave for Fort Sill for 6 weeks for ALC. Needless to say this summer kinda sucks. As much as I know a deployment is much much worse, I also find it really hard when your husband is in the states and you are seperated...although the fact that he has his phone and a computer with no service cutting out is very much a HUGE plus!

We got up there on Wednesday just after lunch and spent the day litterally doing nothing...oh and baby proofing the whole cabin from Evelyn. Pine cones as decor is not super bright with a one year old.

We also let her run through the sprinklers! Which was new for her and she didnt really enjoy it. But she kept doing it anyways...more because I think she wanted to check it out.

A few days later we went to a waterfall called Bridal Veil Falls...amazing once again!

It was a really fun relaxing weekend!!

MIA

I am MIA for the next couple of days with the Hubby and Daughter in the mountains at a family cabin!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Sunday we are getting family pictures done and I cannot wait to show you all!

Hopefully I'll have a post on Monday :)

Evelyns Birthday Day!

Hello Everyone! I know I have been absent and I'm not being the best commenter on blogs at the moment. My husband got to Utah on Saturday and he'll be here for his 2 week leave before heading back to NC, without me :( and then be heading to Fort Sill, OK for 6 weeks! Speaking of which I am planning a trip to go there! :)

Evelyns Birthday was on Friday and it was so much fun! I made sure to spoil her rotten and I must have sang to her at least 20 times! Not to mention lots of Birthday kisses, and I even gave her Birthday "Spaninkings"...it was more like a tap. I wanted to be the 1st to do it so I did!

She was born at 8:23AM on July 20, 2011 and I was awake when it had been offically a year but Evelyn was still sleeping, so I sat there and remembered the moments I had in labor and while I was pushing. It makes me really wish I had a recording/pictures of it for just myself, it was an amazing moment to bring her into the world!

Good Morning Birthday Girl!

As soon as Evelyn woke up she had her whole wheat waffles (with a little syrup), and strawberries! She gobbled it all up! We danced around to some Disney songs and since we had to babysit my sister for a little while we got ready for the day.

My main goal was to take Evelyn to Salt Lake to Target and get her some new toys and books, but I decided not to. I'm from a smaller town and we only have a walmart, and I figured it would be about the same difference, plus this way I could do errands at the same time. Evelyn got herself a  Snow White baby and a Minnies Bowtique, Minnie.

After she had her 1st nap I ran to McDonalds and got her, her 1st Happy Meal! I know bad mommy right? But because my Dad already had plans for her Birthday Dinner I decided I needed to do something different for Lunch. She just got Chicken Nuggets and Apple Slices with Apple Juice, and she loved it!

After the day had gone by and we had dinner and talked to Daddy (who graduated Airborne School on her Birthday!) we gave her a cupcake!

I wish Hubs could have been here for her Birthday but the fact that he was there the next day was a really great thing! We had another Birthday Party for her!

I cannot believe I have a 1 year old! It flys right on by! I'm looking forward to many many more years!!

BTW...this is my nephew..and he just loves his little cousin! I just had to share this photo!

Getting Curvy!

Well I have been doing Weight Watchers for over a month now, and I gotta say....its not working like I thought it would. I am the kid of girl who likes results FAST especially if I am doing it right! and thats not the case. No doubt about it I am loosing weight! I've lost...

5 pounds!

I'm not impressed. Needless to say when the hubs left I tried my hardest to eat what we had so I wasnt throwing money in the trash. It wasnt always the healthiest...but I dont think it was THAT unhealthy either.

Since I got here I started this diet...sorta with my Mom who has lost 65 pounds since January, and thats HUGE for my Mom! She is now my size, like litterally we can swap clothes which has never EVER happened! So I have been doing it with her with occasional exceptions. (sorry but I like my turkey sandwiches)

My Mom joined this thing called FA, Food Addicts, and its basically no sugar and no flour! You eat very clean! I have noticed my curves in my sides come back with this diet that I have been steadyily getting used to the last week...and I have lost....

2 pounds!

I still use WW and track my foods since I have paid for it, but its almost pointless because by the end of the day I have 13 or more points left over. Yes, that healthy! I have been eating a TON of fruit and lots of white meat, salads and of course veggies. Sounds simple right? Ya wait till your craving that candy bar! or my weakness....an ice cold Pepsi. But luckily I am living with 2 other people doing it! The Hubs even wants to do it! I'm thinking this is the way to go for me!



so far in Utah...

Its been pretty boring. I almost feel like I could have done everything I am doing here, back in North Carolina. But that being said...

My sister had some emergancy surgery on Friday. She had had surgery in April on her intistines when they twisted up in her stomach. This surgery could have been related to the one of Friday. My sister has a shunt in her head and the shunt was plugged and apperently it was plugged for a LONG time. The surgon said when he opened her head the shunt flew out of her, it was that bad! Thankfully my parents had caught onto her low-grade fever that wouldnt ever go down and took her in to be sure! She was relased the next day from the hospital and seems to be back to being her same ol' self...but my parents have noticed her low-grade fever hasnt really broke yet. So they are keeping an eye on it and if it doesnt go down, they'll call her doctor again. But I hope for my sisters sake that she's done with surgery for a while!

My Aunt from Arizona came up and it was a nice visit. I got my niece and nephew up from Southern Utah and thats been a blast too. Its weird being an Aunt to a 13 year old! My other nephew Mac is in Maine right now with his Mom and Step-Dad so I havent seen him yet but his birthday is on the 12th! So I'm super excited to celebrate with him!!

Evelyns Birthday is coming up and so I am in party planning mode all over again...and I really hate it. This town only has a walmart for party supplies so if I want to shop for different things I must drive 30 mintues to Salt Lake City to search for them.

I've also fallen in love with this show called....Pretty Little Liars. I am almost done with Season 2 and I will probably have to download season 3 and try ot catch up on 4...anyone know where I can see Season 3 without buying it for 40 bucks on itunes?

Anyways...so I know my blogging might get a little boring and a little....ehh not so stable anymore...but I just dont have too much going on right now.
I miss my car!