Valerie's Birth Story

How do I even begin to start this story... I guess I'd have to go all the way back to my due date which was January 2nd. My Mom had arrived in town a few days before, and I had my 40 week appointment. P and I went to this appointment alone, and we were very anxious to see if anything was happening in there. I was over due with Evelyn, so I sort of expected to be over due with Valerie too. We got to my appointment and because of the holidays I was forced to see a OB then seeing my regular Midwife. We got back into the room and the doctor did a quick ultrasound, the baby looked fine. The doctor scheduled me for an induction which was set for 12 days after my due date... I was super upset about it. Not only would P be in the field but it was also the day my Dad would be flying back home. We asked him if we could do anything at home to get the process started and he basically told us "nothing can be done, the baby will come when she's ready and there's nothing you can do about it"... and no joke, he was super rude. I left my appointment in tears. I set up an appointment for my NST and a 41 week appointment which I was hoping would end up being unnecessary.

I was really upset about the doctor telling me that I just couldn't do anything at all but wait... So I decided that even if he think's I can't do anything, that I needed to at least TRY! My Mom and I asked for lots of advice and then spent a day picking up things like primrose oil, raspberry tea, eggplant parmesan, birthing balls, clary sage and massage oils! I walked and shopped like a mad woman! I was bound and determined to help my body get ready for this. But... nothing worked.

Finally my Dad came to town, and him and my Mom got a hotel with a pool so that Evelyn could have some fun. We went swimming with them one night and I spent the majority of the time in the pool swimming laps. When we were done with the pool and I was in the bathroom I suddenly felt my bladder let go of itself... I started pretty much peeing everywhere. This had happened to me twice already, I pee'd myself a few times ok. I was so not sure if I just had water in me, if I pee'd or if my water broke. I grabbed some toilet paper and decided to see if I leaked anymore on the way home and up until bed time... I didn't see much water... so I just wasn't sure what happened. I just assumed I pee'd my pants again and went to sleep.

The next day was my 41 week appointment and it was at 9AM. I had a few contractions that night but nothing regular. I had a different OB this time, thank goodness! The doctor pulled out the ultrasound machine to see what was going on and it turned out I only had 2cm of amniotic fluid in me (found out my water had indeed broke). He sent me straight upstairs to be checked into L&D. He told me not to get my hopes up though, that the hospital would likely check me again and if the baby pee'd, my water might go back up. So P and I headed straight upstairs. As I was getting checked in they told me that I was indeed being induced that day! P left to go home and get our bags, while I waited in the waiting room for our room to be ready. All I could think about was how much I already missed Evelyn, I had been spending a lot of time with her, but suddenly I felt like I didn't get enough in. But this was it, and boy were we ready to have our new addition here!

My Last Pregnant picture!

41weeks 1day

 

P and I settled into our room and we got all set up and ready to go. I was hooked to fluids, Pitocin and penicillin. I was hoping I could handle birth and not need an epidural but I made sure to sign the papers just in case I felt like I needed it. I was check in at 3cm, 50% effaced and a -2. By 4pm I was checked and had only progressed to a 4! I was certain I was in for a long labor.

 

I handled my contractions the best I could. P was seriously amazing! He supported me though it all, gave me his hand when I needed it, and rubbed my back. He also was so sweet and would help me to the bathroom every time I needed to go, and with that much fluids hooked to me, I went a lot!

 

At about 7-7:30 I could not handle my contractions any longer. I was having horrible back labor, and if you've never had back labor it feels like your back is splitting in two! I tried so hard to put up with it, and when the tears started rolling and I was feeling exhausted and hungry because I hadn't ate since breakfast, I knew I was done experiencing the miracle of natural birth. I knew though that I gave it my all! Getting my epidural SUCKED! They got me once... and it didn't work. So they stuck me again... meanwhile my nurse has her hand up my gown to keep the monitor on the baby and I am sweating so bad from the contractions and the fact that I was nervous. I looked my nurse straight in the face and told her how sorry I was. She didn't seem to mind but I'm sure it wasn't her biggest highlight of the night. After the epidural seemed to be working, I decided to take a nap. I had a rough night with Evelyn and I knew I needed the rest. It took some time but with some calming from P I finally was asleep by about 8:30.

 

I woke up at 9 with a horrible pressure in my butt! I'm talking like HUGE pressure! I was huffing and puffing! I grabbed that epidural button and clicked on it a few times and it wasn't going away. My Epidural failed me! I paged my nurse and after 3 more contractions, I paged her again and said "I NEED SOMEONE NOW!!", suddenly my nurse and my midwife, who hadn't checked on me in hours was in my room. I told them about the horrible pressure I was having and the biggest urge to push. They checked me and I was a -2! Baby girl was right there!! I screamed "OH MY GOD!!, someone fix my epidural!", they said there was nothing they could do about it now and that I should try pushing a few times... little did they know how amazing I am at birth.. in two pushes they told me to stop because she was coming now. Suddenly P is right next to me, and 8 people are surrounding me and telling me to PUSH!

 

I started pushing and I felt everything!, and I mean EVERYTHING! I was a woman screaming in labor, anything to help me and empower me, I was doing. P was next to me cheering me on, my nurses were telling me what was happening down below, and I was screaming "holy shit! I feel everything!!". It felt good to scream for a second and then push again! Not many pushes left and I saw her arm fly up in the air! I was told one more push and I gave it my all!! I pushed like I had never pushed before and suddenly she was in my arms!

Valerie Alisha

January 10, 2014

9:40PM

7lbs 9oz

19inches



 

I started to bawl and the only thing I could say was "you look just like your sister!". I was being cleaned up and I was doing skin to skin with Valerie. I got her latched on right away and I looked up at P and we were both in awe with her. She looked gorgeous! We had just added a beautiful little girl to our world and we were elated with pride and joy!

 

Because it was so late P and I had Valerie all to ourselves. We didn't get moved to the recovery room until 2am, but it was ok. We called all our family and sent photos to everyone. Cool fact: Valerie was born on my parents 38th Wedding Anniversary. We got very little sleep in, and we were pretty much forced to wake up at 6:30 to eat breakfast. So began the little sleep time in our life.

 

That morning my Mom and Dad brought Evelyn to meet Valerie. I was super excited to see her! I really couldn't wait to see what Evelyn thought of Val. Evelyn was super excited to be in the hospital, surrounded by doctors and everything! Her obsession with Doc McStuffin's really helps! You could tell Evelyn was confused at what I ment by Valerie was the baby we had been talking about for months. Suddenly mommys tummy was gone and there was a baby there. But as soon as we let Evelyn hold her, she kept saying "She's cute!". She counted her fingers and toes and gave her kisses. She was just how I wanted her to be with her new sister, and has pretty much stayed that way. She loves being a big sister!

 



We all feel so blessed to have welcomed baby Valerie into our family! Valeries middle name is after my little sister Alisha, some of you know Evelyn's middle name is after my other sister Suzanne. I have now had the pleasure of honoring two very important people in my life. I hope my girls will look at them both as the amazing women they were. Suzanne passed away 13 years ago and Alisha is mentally and physically handicapped. I'm proud to have honored them both in such a special way.

Our Family of Four!

 



Sick of it.

I really try to avoid writing posts about me being miserable in pregnancy. I know sometimes they come off as "ungrateful", or "whiney"... but that couldn't be further from the truth. I am so excited to expand our family and meet this little girl who refuses to leave my rib cage. So excited in fact that I am beyond sick of being pregnant.

I really seriously am.

I think I have had a pretty good pregnancy... could have been better at points, and it could have been worse, but all in all I'd call it a pretty normal one. But the last week... I am an emotional, hormonal, over reacting, nesting mess!! I seriously don't know how to handle it anymore.

I have SO many things coming up in the next month! Thanksgiving, P's Leave, Christmas, Anniversary, Baby being born... PLUS all the little things like finishing preparing for the baby and getting the things I will need when I have the baby. Nesting is a great thing.... but when your trying to find a happy budget medium to finish Christmas shopping before becoming a HUGE whale and buy all those other little things you need which of course none feel "inexpensive"... oh my lordy! My brain is going to explode!! Nesting this go around is a nightmare!

Did I mention how even my maternity clothes are starting to not fit... yepp. I have hit that awkward stage of not knowing my belly is hanging out in public sometimes. When I realize it all I can think about is what people must have been thinking!? I just want to constantly be in sweats... and even though I am not tired enough to want to be on the couch all day... I'd rather be on the couch.

Evelyn is in the midst of another HUGE power struggle with me... and I find myself losing my temper really fast and needing to walk away from her. I text P all the info while I bawl my eyes out feeling like there is no way in hell I can handle two kids... and then, Evelyn has one of those days... those oh so sweet days that make me feel like I can handle 5 kids. Terrible two's are definitely the worst thing I have had to go through in a while! I'd literally take a deployment over this crap!

Yesterday, after putting all my Halloween décor away, dealing with a refusing to nap toddler plus all the house work... when I got my Fall décor out, I found that I didn't seal the box from last year... found 4 cockroaches living in the box, their poop and they had been munching on some of my Styrofoam décor. It was the last thing to throw me over the edge from the day. I'm just already super hormonal and have a toddler who's fighting me on so many things, then to find out those nasty bugs were eating my stuff! Oh I called my Mom and just bawled! I'm so just ready to be back to being me again!

P and I had date night last night, and as much as I felt like I needed to get out of the house and do a big thing just us two... we settled on KFC and sitting on our couch watching The Walking Dead. It was bliss! When we picked Evelyn up, I felt so refreshed! We let her stay up a little later and we all sang our ABC's and some other songs. I just soaked it up.

I know I am bound to have some good and bad days for the next, hopefully only 9 more weeks. I know its a blessing to actually be carrying my child. I also know these are only temporary feelings I am having and pregnancy doesn't last forever. Even if it feels like it will. :)

Paranoia!

This has been kind of a rough last few weeks for me. As my due date approaches and nesting quickly sets in for me, I find myself feeling VERY unprepared. The girl has all the basic's and a few extras, and a few more things on the to-do list that aren't expensive.

This pregnancy is way different then when I was pregnant with Evelyn. With Evelyn, I was living at home, P was deployed, I could pretty much buy what I wanted with that extra money... so I was pretty prepared when I entered into the single week count down. This go around... I have been bargain shopping like a mad woman since I found out I was pregnant. I've gotten a lot of the things I need PLUS the added bonus of things I really wanted.

When I was pregnant with Evelyn, I had weird dreams all the time... this time, only a few here and there. But this time, I am having dreams about going into labor SUPER early. I'm talking like any day now type of early. I'm to the point where I almost feel the need to pack up a hospital bag it's freaking me out so badly.

I made arrangements with a good friend here and she's willing to take Evelyn whenever I go into labor. My Mom's flight is booked, and she'll be here a few days after Christmas. I only need a few more things for myself for the hospital and first few weeks, but I still can't shake this feeling I am having.

I hope its just me freaking out about becoming a mommy of two, and not a real serious thing. I know the dangers of having a baby earlier, especially in the colder months.

The funny thing about my dreams is that even though I am "in labor", no one believes me! Not even the hospital. I even find myself waking up from the dreams grasping onto a hard belly. I'm just not sure, and there is no way to even be sure!

P and I have been doing great and preparing my body for labor & delivery. Lots of stretching, lots of breathing exercises and when I'm up for it we go for a long walk. (usually I can't walk too long or far without some Braxton Hicks contractions). When I was pregnant with Evelyn, I avoided almost all of that, because I NEEDED P to be here for Evelyn's birth... worked out pretty good for us, since he was there. But I wonder if all this preparing will also make labor happen earlier this go around... I was over due by a day with Evelyn, and I was induced. This go around, no induction unless needed... and lets face it... I'm actually sexually active with my husband this go around... so who knows if that will stir anything up.

Now my belly and body are getting all nervous just thinking about it all! AHH!

I'm going to stop talking about it for now. Tomorrow I am 31 weeks. 9 more to go people!!

A little baby gender announcment!

Well recently P and I decided to go to a privet ultrasound tech and find out what this little one was. P will be at JRTC when I am 20 weeks, so instead of him missing out on more things we decided to just find a place to go to together. Plus I mean once you know the baby's gender can be revealed I personally think its so hard to not to find out.

Mostly everyone thought it was going to be a boy... and that made me feel bad. I mean Evelyn even said it was a boy. So because I didn't have a clue what it was going to be I decided I'd vote for a girl.

We first saw this little one and the first thing I noticed.... looks exactly like how Evelyn looked like. Evelyn's ultrasounds she had her Dad's profile completely. I was shocked to see how much they looked alike! Another thing.. the baby was sleeping, and apparently had no real intention of waking up.

I stared at P a lot, and even though he was dealing with a toddler who just wanted Mom to stop getting prodded by the lady, he was still in awe watching this little baby move.

waving Hi and waking up for a little nap!

 

Finally the lady decided to look at the sex. I guess even though this little one was sleeping, they made sure we could get a good peek at the goods. While I don't really feel comfortable showing off my baby's stuff... this is our Gender Announcment on FB.

 



When I first saw the legs open and then saw nothing, the first thing I said was "Oh my god P its a girl!". I looked right at him and he had the biggest smile on his face. I laughed in disbelief! I was not sure at all on what I was having, and to find out I was going to be a mommy to two little girls blew my mind!

It took us a moment to finally realize it was a real thing! Two girls! WOAH! I became immediately excited! My sister died when I was 10 and I never had a real sister relationship, and that's always made me a little sad. But I just knew right then and there that this was so ment to be! I get to watch my girls have a beautiful friendship together, and I can't wait to see it blossom! I sometimes think my sister has a hand in certain things in my life, and I'm sure her and God knew I had always wanted that sisterly relationship, and this is the next best thing.

My two little girls!! I cannot wait!

A letter to a future big sister.

Dear Evelyn,

I never thought I would be saying that so soon! Your Daddy and I are so overwhelmed, excited and maybe a little scared to be welcoming a new baby into the world, but we are certain that you'll be an amazing sister!

Many parents are scared and nervous about bringing a new baby into the family, but not us. You've loved babies ever since you were born. You love your baby dolls and your so gentle with any newborn you come in contact with. I have 100% confidence in you being the best big sister and mommies little helper.

I'm sure when you heard me tell you that you were going to be a big sister, that nothing clicked into your head. While my head was fuzzy and trying to comprehend what was happening you gladly replied with "sissser", ever since then if I ask if you want to be a big sister you smile and reply "sissser". Your making us all very excited to see you be a big sister.

I have no doubt that you'll have your good days and bad days with this new little adventure we are embarking on, but I also know how well you adapt to new things, so I hope you'll do very well!

I know its going to be hard, and I know you might not always feel loved when you got another baby in the mix. But I will love you and your new sibling whole heartedly! Your never going to not have your parents love. We will always love you baby girl, you have been a huge rock in this family and we try to better ourselves for you and now your new sibling.

I cannot wait to see you grow into this new adventure and become an amazing big sister! You'll always have us and your sibling in your life and its a bond to cherish.

I love you.

Love, Mom

39 Weeks.

Hey you all!! Hubby is still here no worries! He is dead asleep right now, and I'm letting him get as much sleep as he can in. We've been having a problem with waking up at 7am everyday so then we go to bed at 9! Its not so great.

But I thought I'd let everyone know Little Lady Love has not...and I repeat....NOT here yet. We had a doctors appointment on Wednesday and she barelly made any progress! I was still 1 cenimeter dialated and 50% efaced. So my doctor was taking a vacation the very next day and decided to just schedual me to be induced. I'll end up being 1 day over due but hopefully (and I say hopefully since my cousin just had a 32 hour labor) that Little Lady Love will be here on the 20th! I'm pretty excited to meet her! But super nervous about being induced, you hear the stories about how awful it is, but because I have nothing to compare it to hopefully it wont be a big deal.

Well everyone I should get back to the Hubby now! Go lay in bed and cuddle with him! AWES but heres a picture of our little family at 39 weeks and 4 days!! I've been waiting to take a picture like this forever!!

DR Appt.

Today I went in for my 38 week check up with my freaking awesome doctor and it was all good news!!

Everything with me checked out fine...I finally can say I gained 2 pounds over my weight I was before I got pregnant. I lost 25 and then gained 27. YAHOO!
My nurse had my undress from the waist down so he could check me, so while I sat on the table with my feet dangling my mom and I talked and I swoll up like a balloon! I rarelly wear my wedding ring anymore from all the swelling and when I looked at my hand it hand turned bright red and I could barely get my ring off. I took my ring off and put it around my necklace that also has a picture of Hubby on it and my doctor didnt come infor about 20 more minutes.
Honestly if you are lucky and can avoid being pregnant during the summer....DO IT! Its super hard. Not only did I swell up I was sweating!
My doctor got out his machine and Baby Girls heartbeat is great still and she decided to move her head into my hip, but since the appointment I am pretty sure shes got her head back down. He then proceded to take those damned rubbed gloves out and check me.
Now that HURT! He proceded to push my belly down and try and check me more. Turns out Baby Girl isnt planning on going anywhere anytime soon!

He told me I was 1 centimeter dialted and 40% effaced...then he told me, my cervix is not favorable. If I went in today my body would force me into a c-section. He is pretty confident Hubby will make it in time for delivery!! Which only makes me happier!! I've been praying for little girl to wait for her daddy and it looks like she listened to me! I'm thrilled but trying to not get my hopes up too much.

3 AM Rant.

I am not very happy with being pregnant right now. I cant sleep, I sweat my freaking butt off, I waddle, my pelvis hurts, my tailbone hurts, my hips hurt. I know better and choose to be grateful about my little one, but really right now I need my damn sleep. My eyes have even begun to water because of how tired I am, but its hopeless to lay down because my brain is fully awake.
When I woke up 45 minutes ago, I laid in bed, changed positions put the pillow inbetween my legs and threw the sheet off of me. I grabbed my phone and tried to read a few articals to help me fall back asleep.....still nothing. I switched positions again and tried to fall asleep without the phone.....nothing. The more I laid in my bed the more I contiuned to sweat. I have a fan in my window that blows the air in and out of my room all day, and it usually has done the trick for me, but tonight my body had different plans.
I know if I want to make it to R&R without having this baby I need all the rest I can get, and thankfully I have been able to actually take naps, which I haven't been able to do my whole pregnancy. This is where a husband would really come in handy right now.
I cant get up and out of bed without tightening my stomach to get up, which obviouslly pushes the baby lower, which seems almost impossible to do now since I constantly feel like she's gonna just fall out. I really have felt in a way like a single mom. I cant really compare because I dont work, and I litterally do have a husband, but I feel like I get little glimpses of how hard it must be. Its super hard work to take care of yourself when your growing a 7+ pound baby in there and cant make someone get out of bed and grab you water in the middle of the night and have to do it on your own.
So right now, I am in the middle of trying to drink alot of water and seeing if it will cool down my body temp at all...from what everyone keeps saying is I am 10 degrees hotter then everyone else, which sucks in 90 degree weather. But I once again count my lucky stars I am not in Kansas with that AWFUL humidity. Sometimes its not so great to be Optimistic.

I have a doctors appointment this morning as well, 38 weeks and I havent been checked because my doctor doesnt want to stir up anything...he is really excited about Hubby coming home. But He told me he would check this week, which I am excited about...kinda. It would suck to know if I am progressing and he says thoses words "well I guess I'll see you in a few days" or sometimes I am sure its going to suck if he says "yepp nothing is happening see you next week" ahhh pregnancy end already! I'm ready to hold her.

end rant.