Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Oh Hello there!

Hey y'all! Sorry I havent posted anything! If your a friend of mine on FB or Instagram you'd know I am currently in Utah visiting family. I've been here a week and I'll be here until the 6th. I haven't had much time to blog, sit, read...well really do much. But hopefully I can sit down longer then 5 minutes in a day or two and write some posts. Right now I got a sick, needy, whiney toddler at my feet so I better go.
I hope you all enjoyed your weekend off. :)

Monday, May 20, 2013

The day I turned 24!

Sunday was my birthday! Its crazy how much I did not really care about my birthday this year. Usually I would plan a month in advance and order my own cake, but not this year...I didn't really care. I mean yeah I wanted to do something, but I guess birthdays to me just aren't so fabulous anymore. I have a daughter who's turn it is to have fantastic birthdays so to me, mine just aren't too important anymore. But I have a great husband who wants to make sure I have a good day, and it turned out really good.

Let me say this last weekend was so uhhmazing! I layed around almost the whole time, rarely got sick, and my husband basically was Mom to Ev for me. I really really needed that! Its crazy how much energy I lack this go around on this pregnancy. I was not this tired with Evelyn.

So on Sunday, P was great and woke up with Ev. My only complaint about it was that she finally slept past 6:30 and once I saw that I couldn't fall asleep again. Little stinker. I woke up to the smell of bacon seeping through the walls! But oh it smelt so good! Bacon, eggs and toast! Delicious!

P knows I am big on a few video games, and finally after 2 years of waiting my game BioShock Infinite came out. He was so great and bought it for me for my birthday! Its probably going to take me forever to finish, but I love the game! P had also set up an appointment for me to get my nails done! I haven't had my nails done since I left Utah last summer! So it was so nice to get them done! I did totally ruin my manicure though once I left the store, but that's just me I guess!

P was also amazing and make me his special ribs and corn on the cob! It was fantastic and he made me my cake! He didn't totally butcher it, I was impressed!! It was a great birthday! I'm so lucky and blessed to have the family I have!

p.s sorry for the lack of make-up! I'm really really tired.

Friday, May 17, 2013

A letter to a future big sister.

Dear Evelyn,

I never thought I would be saying that so soon! Your Daddy and I are so overwhelmed, excited and maybe a little scared to be welcoming a new baby into the world, but we are certain that you'll be an amazing sister!

Many parents are scared and nervous about bringing a new baby into the family, but not us. You've loved babies ever since you were born. You love your baby dolls and your so gentle with any newborn you come in contact with. I have 100% confidence in you being the best big sister and mommies little helper.

I'm sure when you heard me tell you that you were going to be a big sister, that nothing clicked into your head. While my head was fuzzy and trying to comprehend what was happening you gladly replied with "sissser", ever since then if I ask if you want to be a big sister you smile and reply "sissser". Your making us all very excited to see you be a big sister.

I have no doubt that you'll have your good days and bad days with this new little adventure we are embarking on, but I also know how well you adapt to new things, so I hope you'll do very well!

I know its going to be hard, and I know you might not always feel loved when you got another baby in the mix. But I will love you and your new sibling whole heartedly! Your never going to not have your parents love. We will always love you baby girl, you have been a huge rock in this family and we try to better ourselves for you and now your new sibling.

I cannot wait to see you grow into this new adventure and become an amazing big sister! You'll always have us and your sibling in your life and its a bond to cherish.

I love you.

Love, Mom

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Dear Baby #2

Hello little one. Your certainly a welcome surprise. Your sister is right next to me acting like she can type, I don't think she really know's what a sister is right now...but I hope she'll catch on quick.

Its strange how finding out I was pregnant with you went along.

It was April 23, 2013 and I just had a gut feeling like I did with your sister, that something was up. I knew I wanted another baby and I was preparing for you physically and mentally, but I was not ready at the moment. I finally decided I just needed to take a test and get the anxiety over with.

I went into the bathroom and took the test and ran out of the room and sat on my bed...its similar to the moment I found out I was pregnant with your sister. I urged myself to stay outside the room until the 2 minutes were up. I went into the bathroom and saw the words "pregnant"....I won't lie...I smiled and then I screamed for your Dad. He had no clue I was in the bathroom taking a test, and as soon as I saw him he knew that I was pregnant. I looked at your sister and instantly cried...I couldn't believe her time as an only child was now limited and she was about to be a sister. What a huge step.

Your Dad stayed quite and I knew he would...but then said "it better be a boy". We had already been talking about a baby the last few days and what we would do a nursery like, talked about names as well. But we both know we want whatever is healthy and happy.

Oh little child of mine...I can't believe it. Your coming into such a loving wonderful family, as much as I was not expecting you, your going to be so loved. Your sister is going to spoil you with kisses and hugs!

I can't wait to meet you. Your already so much apart of our family and so loved!! I hope you enjoy the peace and quite right now...because soon you'll be here with us and its never quite here.

I love you.



Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Suzy Q

Dear Suzy,

Seems like this letter comes up so fast. I'm glad I have a space to write you, even though you'll never receive it. Today marks 13 years since you left us, every day I think of you and that will never go away. I can't watch video's or look at pictures without wanting to cry. Though as time goes on I know that it gets a little easier, I'll never stop missing you or loving you, but I now feel peaceful knowing that your always around me. Sometimes I swear I can feel it.

I sometimes think about all the things your missing out on, but your not missing out on anything, you really are here. Your in my heart, mind and your in the air with us all. You maybe in a better place, in a heaven with no hurt, but your there to help me through my struggles and sometimes that's all I need is to know you're here.

I will spend this day doing what I normally do, taking care of Evelyn and missing you and home. But I know I'll find myself listening to some songs that remind me of you, maybe even watch She's All That just because that's what we would do together. I might even watch the video I made for the family after you died. You see how much I cry during that, but its just because I know that I have that with me, and that is who you were. It brings so many memories back to me..some that are gone are gone forever, but I can't wait to hear the stories when we meet again.

I know this year you've been joined in heaven by a few friends of yours and of mine. Tell them hi and that I love them all. I know you have probably seen my unborn child, and you've probably held it in your arms. It just makes having children that much more special to me. You loved them before I even knew them.

I miss you Suzy. I wish you were here all the time. We will be together forever someday.

Love your amazing special little sister,

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Big and Beautiful!

Hello one and all! I don't know if you have read this article about what the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch wrote...but I for one have something to say. If you haven't read it Here it is.
It all sums it up saying things like..

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

Well let me say that I didn't know all cool kids were thin. Infact I know that in my high school that yes the majority of the popular girls were skinny, but I also know that not all of them were.

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either,” he told Salon."

Sure I can get going after the cool kids, they make the biggest impressions in High yes I totally understand that marketing reason I guess...I mean your only in High School for 4 years so I can see how that would be a reasonable strategy instead of a long term one. But another term I see here is that only the "cool kids" are "all-American with great attitude and a lot of friends"...That is so rude to say. I had no clue that only the "cool kids" could be all American and have a ton of friends...I have had a bunch of friends through out the years and I am not a skinny girl who can fit into that stereotype that this man is giving bigger people.

I have struggled with weight my whole life, and its taken almost 24 years to come to terms with this is who I am. I will never be a skinny girl in Small shirts, who can shop at Hollister and Abercrombie, and even though that hurt my feelings in high school...I'm not in high school anymore. In fact most of the popular kids in my high school are still living in their parents houses, have kids with random men, do drugs, and just don't have great lives. So I am glad to of not had that pressure on me to be "the cool one".

I maybe big and have big breasts but I damn well know I am a beautiful person, inside and out. I have so much love in my life and I could careless if I wear the "popular brand" that high school kids wear. Those kids will one day get to where I am and realize its not such a big deal. I know my daughter might have problems with weight one day too...and I know she might struggle with this, and as much as I am working on setting better eating examples for her...its pretty inevitable that Evelyn will end up with big breasts and she'll be wearing larger shirts to cover them up, and she should in no way be ashamed of herself because she has to wear an XL shirt.

Its a shame to see someone who has such a big impact on fashion in high schools has a stigma towards people who have issues with weight...or like I said just want to cover themselves up more with a bigger shirt. People that are overweight get enough shit because apparently all they do is eat twinkies all day long, but we all know that being overweight has more to do with self-esteem and other issues they might be having...its not all because we stuff our faces all day. And for someone who was raped, molested, lost a sister and has had many self-esteem issues especially when all that happened in high school, and then go shopping with friends only to not fit in the "skinny girl store" clothes, that hurt my feelings. I wasn't good enough again...I was worthless, because I something was happening to my body that I didn't feel like I could control all the time.

Its nice to see a store CEO come out to say that even though I am not in high school anymore and could careless if I wear his over priced clothing that I am still not good enough to wear his clothes. Well I got news for you sir....I am happily married to a wonderful man who tells me all the time how gorgeous I am on a daily basis. I gave birth to a wonderful healthy little girl who loves me no matter what I look like. Sure I maybe over weight and have to wear XL shirts, but at least I feel beautiful in what I am wearing, and that's what every person who designs clothes should want their customers to feel like...not like they fit into some high school stigma, I left high school 6 years ago...I don't want to go back, I'm perfectly happy with being a beautiful curvy and big breasted woman! So I think I can say for all of us bigger woman and men that we don't care that you don't like us...cause we like us just fine. We are happy with who we are and just fine wearing clothes from JC Penny and any other generic store...because those store just want us to look beautiful no matter how big we are. Something you should learn from them...but don't worry I wont hold my breath that you'll be around in 20 years. Enjoy living in the high school days you probably didn't have, I'm glad I am out of High School and have no intentions of every trying to fit into the "in" crowd, those days are long gone.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Who is Missus Elle?

I never really like to do these types of blogs. Usually my answer is; I cook. clean, take care of my family and well that's about it. But its not really who I am. Yes I am Ev's mom and P's wife...but I am a whole different person outside of them. Sometimes that gets lost in the background for a while, and then I find it again. Its easy to get wrapped up in life especially when your raising a baby and taking care of a husband.

So who am I? Well lets see...

I love concerts! Before I met P I went to concerts all the time. My first one was Death Cab for Cutie, pretty amazing. 2nd one... Linkin Park. I have also been to a few outdoor ones such as Warped Tour (twice) and Rocklahoma which was a 3 day concert. I have seen these bands; Death Cab, Linkin Park(twice), Blink 182, Taking Back Sunday, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Coheed and Cambria, Luke Bryan, Thompson Square, Florida Georgia Line, Chevelle, ZZ Top, Nickelback, Hinder, Papa Roach, Saving Abel, Theory of a Deadman, Cinderella....and well just a bunch that I can't even think of at the moment.

I have probably 50 bottles of nail polish. I really love to get pedicures...I am not too much of a girlie girl. I mean ya I like to look cute, but a moment alone with some nail polish is one of my favorite cheap pampering nights and I seriously do not do it enough.

I'm a great rememberer. Its sometimes seriously creepy. I am horrible at Math but anything to do with the entertainment industry or friends and family things. I remember everything!!

My favorite thing to do...go shopping alone. And you know what...I almost always buy something for my family instead of me.

I'm a huge Disney fan! I grew up loving The Little Mermaid, and just wanting to be a mermaid more then anything in the world! Everytime P and I talk about taking a trip alone I almost always suggest Disneyland or Disney World.

I love to read...but I do not do it enough. Especially since I became a Mom. I have only a certain amount of time to myself and I usually spend it watching my shows on TV...every once in a while I'll pick up a book and read it to the end, and then that's it for the next few months.

My personality is great...but I never make the first move into starting a friendship. Its so hard for me to put myself out there. Its almost like I am scared of a break up before the friendship has even started.

Well that's all I can really think about for its bedtime for me. I wrote this last night...incase you were wondering. I need some serious beauty sleep!

Monday, May 6, 2013

My House..

A few weeks ago I wrote about being in one house for a whole year and what a huge thing that has been for us, I was looking forward to not moving for another year! Well...I find myself regretting that. I live on post, so I'm pretty limited to certain things I can do. For one thing I can't paint and I can't rip up things and make the house my own. But that's not at all what this post is about.

I am writing this because I cannot wait to get the eff of out this house. In the last month we have found out that my floors are falling down, which is not good! But seems like so far they fixed the problem for now, but I have bubbles in my 2nd bathroom floor, we have cracks all over so I'm pretty much just waiting for the house to collapse.

But its not just that....oh no! Not even close!

Guess who has termites?! You guessed it! ME! yay......

I am so over this house, and ready to move out right now, but we cannot afford to move right now. This sucks! We would love to just move into the empty house across the street so we wouldn't have to invest in a moving truck, moving boxes and so on and so forth.

As of right now, I haven't even talked to Housing to see what they can do or offer us, but P and I plan on asking if there is a way to move houses and not have to put another deposit down. Really they need to just tear this house down and build it back up, its getting bad.

I can't stand the thought of knowing what's behind my bathroom wall either. All the bugs....BLEH!!!!! I'm glad we had someone come on Saturday and told us that Toothpaste will stop the termites from eating the wall until we they can fix it. But until then...lets just hope they don't eat my face off and attack my family like they do in my dreams.

Friday, May 3, 2013

a quote for all us mothers.

When the MIL comes to town...

This week has been a hectic one....well and a stressful one...ok lets just call this week a week that was full of emotions. My Mother In Law was in town this week. I have my own personal issues with her, and P see's his Mom pretty close to a saint.

Its hard to marry a person who's just got one parent and that one parent isn't stable in her life. Its been a trip for me since both my parents are stable and are still married, so I have never experienced this side of the parent worlds. As much as I have tried to be understanding sometimes it can be hard.

P hasn't seen his Mom since December 2011, so Evelyn was 5 months old. His Mom cannot afford to fly out here and California is just too expensive so we agreed to fly her out here for a week. We have done this before and it ended up being a total disaster for me and her, so I wasn't looking forward to it at all. We made sure she'd be here when P had a 4 day weekend, so it wouldn't just be me and her constantly. That ended up working out pretty good, except for her sleeping all over the couch and it raining so we didn't go outside with Ev much. As soon as P headed back to work it went straight back to exactly what I thought it would be between me and conversations, or one sided conversations, her sleeping on the couch, me taking care of everything and cleaning up after her messes. Not to mention she smokes and was bringing Ev around about a furious mother constantly and my house, favorite throw blanket, and such just smelling! I felt like I tried, I even took her shopping for Evelyn but it didn't work out like how I thought it would...and I just felt frustrated. So the last night I went to bed early to get away from her ignoring me and let P spend his last night with his Mom for probably a while. After P came to bed we talked and he thanked me for trying...and you all don't know how much that means to me.

Yesterday I took her to the airport, and the drive pretty much went how I thought it would, one sided convo. I got her to the airport and she cried and Evelyn just stared I hugged her and told her I love her...because whether we get along, I do. A few hours after I got home and I was dealing with the mess of men ripping up my floors, I got a text message from her thanking me for giving her a grandchild and for loving her son so much and that she loved me. I wrote her back and let her know I was happy to give her a grandchild and that P was the love of my life, and that I loved her too.

As much as I would have loved to of had a conversation like that in person, I know that this might be all she can give me right now. We still have a long way to go of understanding each other, and its going to take a while...but just getting that message went a long way for me and I'm really glad she said something.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Missus Elle.

Welcome to my new blog!! I know right, I've changed it again, but I needed to! I needed something fresh and sparkly and girlie! As you can see my lovely blog designer did just that!!

I also changed my name to Missus Elle. One of my favorite bloggers came up with the name and I just love it! It suits me way better!

I've had a few things going on this week so I know I've been lacking in blogging, but don't worry you'll be caught up soon!!

But if your looking for a great new design head on over to Poppiness Designs! Jane did a fantastic job and not to mention this girl is so cute and fun!

Well ya'll I'm going to catch up with you later!!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Game of Thrones.

P and I are always looking for things to watch together, we have our own shows we watch and we have the ones we watch together.
We have watched Dexter, Weeds, Prison Break, Once Upon a Time, True Blood and a few other things like those shows...and we just love it! Its a nice break to take together when the babe is sleeping.

So P started watching Game of Thrones when he was in Iraq and it was playing the 1st season. He came home and he wanted to watch the 2nd season, and I was not expecting to like it so P got his night to watch his stuff while I watched mine. Well a few times watching with him and not knowing what was going on...I decided it was time to watch the whole thing.

We got HBOGO just recently and have been watching it, and I tell you what...I'm totally addicted! I cannot wait for Ev to go to bed and get in bed with my laptop, water and a snack to watch a few episodes.

If you haven't seen it but you like fantasy or the Lord of the Rings'll love it.

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