I really try to avoid writing posts about me being miserable in pregnancy. I know sometimes they come off as "ungrateful", or "whiney"... but that couldn't be further from the truth. I am so excited to expand our family and meet this little girl who refuses to leave my rib cage. So excited in fact that I am beyond sick of being pregnant.
I really seriously am.
I think I have had a pretty good pregnancy... could have been better at points, and it could have been worse, but all in all I'd call it a pretty normal one. But the last week... I am an emotional, hormonal, over reacting, nesting mess!! I seriously don't know how to handle it anymore.
I have SO many things coming up in the next month! Thanksgiving, P's Leave, Christmas, Anniversary, Baby being born... PLUS all the little things like finishing preparing for the baby and getting the things I will need when I have the baby. Nesting is a great thing.... but when your trying to find a happy budget medium to finish Christmas shopping before becoming a HUGE whale and buy all those other little things you need which of course none feel "inexpensive"... oh my lordy! My brain is going to explode!! Nesting this go around is a nightmare!
Did I mention how even my maternity clothes are starting to not fit... yepp. I have hit that awkward stage of not knowing my belly is hanging out in public sometimes. When I realize it all I can think about is what people must have been thinking!? I just want to constantly be in sweats... and even though I am not tired enough to want to be on the couch all day... I'd rather be on the couch.
Evelyn is in the midst of another HUGE power struggle with me... and I find myself losing my temper really fast and needing to walk away from her. I text P all the info while I bawl my eyes out feeling like there is no way in hell I can handle two kids... and then, Evelyn has one of those days... those oh so sweet days that make me feel like I can handle 5 kids. Terrible two's are definitely the worst thing I have had to go through in a while! I'd literally take a deployment over this crap!
Yesterday, after putting all my Halloween décor away, dealing with a refusing to nap toddler plus all the house work... when I got my Fall décor out, I found that I didn't seal the box from last year... found 4 cockroaches living in the box, their poop and they had been munching on some of my Styrofoam décor. It was the last thing to throw me over the edge from the day. I'm just already super hormonal and have a toddler who's fighting me on so many things, then to find out those nasty bugs were eating my stuff! Oh I called my Mom and just bawled! I'm so just ready to be back to being me again!
P and I had date night last night, and as much as I felt like I needed to get out of the house and do a big thing just us two... we settled on KFC and sitting on our couch watching The Walking Dead. It was bliss! When we picked Evelyn up, I felt so refreshed! We let her stay up a little later and we all sang our ABC's and some other songs. I just soaked it up.
I know I am bound to have some good and bad days for the next, hopefully only 9 more weeks. I know its a blessing to actually be carrying my child. I also know these are only temporary feelings I am having and pregnancy doesn't last forever. Even if it feels like it will. :)