Sunday, May 29, 2011

its getting there.

its getting to that point. you all know what i mean...the point of everything anyone says is stupid.

I'm really worn out from being pregnant and going through this deployment. Yes it was our choice to get pregnant during the deployment, and while I don't regret any of that...I'm so flipping exhausted!! Last deployment was easy as pie. I wasn't married and really it was dating with no physical contact...I enjoyed very much getting to know the man I loved. So it was super easy for me to underestimate this deployment...not only were we married but now we have a baby on the way. Its was more emotionally and physically exhausting then I thought it would be.

Almost every time I read a blog about someone who's husband/boyfriend is only going to be gone for 4 months, I wanna scream. I would take anything compared to this 12 months. I feel awful saying that it makes me mad...but really it does. I know a deployment is a deployment...but to read someones blog who is only going through a 6 month deployment or shorter, and see them having a hard time, I wanna say so many things it makes me feel awful! I don't like being like this. I want to support my fellow MILspouses...but right now I am really having a hard time doing that.

I'm sure this probably just pissed off a few people...but I kinda dont care. My deployment is different then anyone elses. Last deployment was called a Successful Military one died. So I expected the same for this deployment....boy was I wrong. So far my husband brigade has had 3 men die. I feel awful for these families, and its worrying me more about my husband being over there. I get told my husband will be home sometime around Halloween, and then my husband tells me to prepare for him to be gone till February which would be an 18 month deployment! SERIOUSLY! I cant deal with him being gone anymore.

Ok. So this blog was a vent blog. I feel.....almost better. Hopefully I can just stay busier. Make this time fly. I am going to pray my heart out that my daughter gets her daddy home soon. I'm beyond ready to just have him hold me! almost 7 months down....hopefully that ugly word extension doesn't show its ugly face to me.


Ash@Life As Lucy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ash@Life As Lucy said...

i deleted it because of typos lol... here it is <3
i can understand my husband caught a grenade to the face last time he was there and while he survived i get white irritated at the, as the army likes to call them, "fobbits"... that's my pet peeve. Now I know some fobs get mortared a lot but the one my husband was on didn't but he was out EVERY SINGLE DAY doing route clearance looking for IED's and I had to listen to people complain about their mechanic husbands and how hard their job is or their cook husbands and it took everything i had to shut my mouth. Mind you I wasn't pregnant but I had a 5 month old who didn't understand her daddy left- who stopped eating and sleeping and was crying all the time... and now this time, right when we stop trying to get pregnant because hes deploying, i get pregnant and he'll be leaving only TWO MONTHS before the baby is born... i don't have family and very few friends so i'm a little freaked about how i will manage after i give birth. deployment isn't easy for anyone and there is always going to be someone or something that is going ot get under our skin but remember, people die on 6 month deployments just like year deployments and those 6 month deployments for some people are just as hard as our 12 months because they haven't had to do longer just like our 12 months is nothing compared to some going through 18 months... be strong and vent but remember everyone has their own story and reasoning and sometimes venting is their outlet just like it's yours. <3 be strong love

Lou said...

i understand you girl. Im sorry im praying for your husband know that. you vent girl let it out...its your blog and your world! Love you

Erin said...

I am sorry your having a hard time. & I am very sorry to hear about your husbands losses in his brigrade. But I completely disagree with what you have to say about shorter deployments. I will most definately say that a year long deployment is extremely hard. & I give all the props and respect in the world to women who go through that. BUT, just because my husband is not gone for a year, does not mean that we don't have to give up sacrifices. It does not mean that I don't get to have a bad day. It does not mean that I am not allowed to be worried, and upset, and frustrated. It just means that I don't have to feel all of those things, for as long as someone who goes through it longer will have to. I can say however, that my husband over the period of year, will likely be gone...away from home..for more than 9 months out of the year. No it's not straight, yes we get breaks in between, but that is 9 months we aren't together, and that sucks. You have every right to your opinon and to think what you would like to about having a shorter deployment, but it doesn't make it any easier. I am sorry you feel that you can't support other people who are going through something that is very difficult for them. A deployment no matter what the length, is difficult, for anyone.

Mike and Jen said...

An 18 month deployment got thrown around for us too, but thankfully it didn't happen.. And I pray that it doesn't for you guys either!
I know how it is being pregnant during a deployment, and raising the baby alone and it isn't easy. It isn't easy finding the strength to get through a deployment some days, but you somehow manage to find that strength and you pull through stronger then you thought you could. Deployments are the hardest thing EVER, and I hate them.. But now that ours is slowly coming to an end, I just have to think to myself about the good that has come out of it, and how much stronger I am as an individual, and how much stronger our marriage is.
Things will get better, and you know my number if you ever need to talk or vent a little more then you can on here;) Love ya Liz!

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