The Long Stretch

I think you all know what I mean....
Husband/Wife/BF/GF is gone for 10 months..
You've had R&R.
You've pretty much completed the to-do list.
You know this deployment is so close to being over....
and then you hit a brick wall.

Your damn 12 month deployment is so close to being over. But now...you have nothing else to look forward to doing, except getting your husband home.
Sure...myself personally I have to move back to Riley still..2 weeks. Unpack my house and set up my house....big woop...knowing me I'll throw myself into that so fast I'll be done unpacking, setting up, cleaning up and decorating in 2 weeks...then what!
Yeah...I've done the 12 month deployment already. I've only had my husband a total of 12 months in the 3 years I've been with him. and mind you this...3 of those months we lived in separate states. I'm pretty much beyond ready to have my husband home for at least 2 years...like so many other lucky as hell wives.
But right now...I am in the deployment. The damn deployment. The deployment I never wanted to come...the deployment that was not supposta come till February of 2011...which came in November of 2010. Yepp...the one time you'll hear me say.."I hate the Army" is when they decide to pull bullshit like that.

Yeah I know I am complaining...but you would too. I'm really tired of this deployment.
I'm really tired of being alone and living with my parents.
I'm really tired of hearing civilians talk shit about their SO's
I'm really sick and tired of hearing military couples complain about their SO's.
I'm tired of just hearing people complain.
.............Ironic, since I am complaining.

This long stretch towards the finish line is completely inevitable. The end of the deployment is constantly on my mind. I'm ready to be a couple again. I'm ready for Paul to watch his darling daughter grow up. I long for the kisses, the hugs and the *wink *wink. I'd never wish a deployment on anyone.
I'm not counting week or days...and thank goodness this month is almost over. Because.....

Its another month down...and 2 more to go. 

October...you could come alot faster.

Tired.

I have to say...I am so glad my "single but married" parenting has an expiration date on it. I have been so tired! My parents are now starting to help me more, because I just can't seem to get Evelyn to calm down sometimes. She's got such bad gas and it hurts her tummy, and Gripe Water and bouncing can only do so much!
I've done really well other then that though, I just really need to stop putting pressure on myself to do everything at once. I need to remember....Everything will be ok!!

Today I took the day off of doing anything. Its been nice. I had to wake up and shower after Evelyns 6am feeding, basically because I stunk and havent had time to shower..yeah it happens. At least Paul isnt here so no one to look good for anyways! But after my shower I ate breakfast by myself, and when I realized Evelyn was planning on sleeping alot more...I decided to go back to sleep. We had a good 2 hour nap which believe me was very much needed!!

Its not an easy task for sure. But I am sure glad I have her. I just wish I could make her feel better. I am 100% breastfeeding her and I have changed my diet and started trying to do different things to help, but so far nothing but Gripe Water and hours of bouncing is helping.

Yesterday I went shopping with my mom. I needed to get a few things before the move back to Kansas...which is in pretty much 2 weeks. I got Evelyn her Halloween costume! My mom bought her a cute outfit and a cute pair of PJ's. Halloween is my favorite holiday! I knew this one I had to go all out! I even got Evelyn a sling, which will very much come in handy when her daddy gets home!!
But I also bought things for my Cupcake Theme Kitchen, I want to do! I have a few ideas as far as to not go over board....but take a look at the cuteness which is cookie jar!

ya its not a grand picture...especially with frosted flakes in the back ground. But I always wanted a really cool cookie jar! and its all mine!!
Here's just a few pictures to update you all on Evelyn and I.

Evelyns smiling only in the mornings as I mentioned in her One Month Old post! Its so hard to get a good picture of it because I only have my cell phone. So this is her little beautiful face this morning!!

Yepp still looking the same...I've dropped 10 pounds plus the baby weight since having Evelyn. I am sure these stripes dont help. I need to do anything weight update post. But I am trying to do more work outs. I get cleared for everything next week. I dont really think I should have any restrictions since during delivery I didnt tear or anything, but you never know whats going on, on the inside. I'm working on it.

This picture just makes me laugh. She hates her baby sling-a-ma-bob and I'm really trying to get her used to it. This morning I slipped her into it while I did my hair, and she did just fine....as long as I had Britney Spears, LMAFO and David Guetta on. She sure loves her clubbin' music.

Evelyns also working really hard on grabbing her toys. 25 bucks well invested. I wasnt planning on buying one of these till I got to Kansas and I thought I needed to do it. Super glad I did. She loves her playmat and is working super hard on grabbing her toys! She has touched them a few times but when does she's pretty scared of it. Oh well I think shes doing amazing!!

I can do it!

I have to admit....I am not creative. Honestly. I suck. Its bad. Its a waste of money.
Well everyone was talking about Pintrest...I figured..HEY I might as well look at it :) Well my friend Jennie has "pinned" this cute little thing! Black Tulle Wreath I loved it and tagged it...I knew I sucked at making things...so I thought I'd just buy it off Etsy.
My friend Katie @ Life of a Army Wife, "pinned" the same wreath and decided to make it. So I thought I would try it if she did good and said it was easy...well she said it was easy. So...I decided its time to try and be crafty.
Yesterday while running my errands..I went to Joanns and grabbed the things I needed, and came home and got to work.
Thanks to Katie she gave me a youtube link on  how to make it! I swear I have some of the sweetest friends.

Anyways I just had to say how proud I am of myself for doing this!! Today I am doing another one...only Green and Red! (ps I'm thinking of hot gluing a skeleton onto the wreath)(oh and my tulle has sparkles on it!!)

One Month Old!

Dear Evelyn,

It still feels like you were just in my belly moving and growing. Everytime I look at you I fall more in love with you! Your the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life, and I am so glad I get to be your mommy!
This month has been wirlwind especially since your daddy went back to Iraq. I've been very lucky that you've been such a good baby. Heres a few things I want to remember about you so far.

You have your daddy's eyes.
You dont fit in your newborn sized PJ's anymore, you are now wearing 0-3 months.
Your so far looking very tall! last time you were measured you were 21 1/2 inches!
You have my fingers!
Your hair was dark brown when you were born, now your going lighter.
You fit in newborn diapers...but slowly are starting not to.
Your 100% breastfed! It took alot of work and time, but now your a champ at it!
You smile but only in the mornings. Its a little sad since I cant show daddy but he has seen you smirk before. Also you have one dimple on your left cheek.
You can hold your head up for a good 5 minutes now before you get tired.
You are slowly starting to try and grab your toys.
You sleep with your hands pointed towards the sky.

Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you! Your doing an amazing job at growing and even though its sad that you wont be so little very soon, we're so excited to watch you grow and gain your personality. We hope we raise you well. Even though Daddy is gone right now, I give you his kisses before bedtime. He misses you so much and can't wait to be with you again. I hope you'll always be proud of the sacrifice he makes not just for his country, but to keep all of us safe. We're so blessed to have you in our life Evelyn. Just know you got so many people who love you here on earth, as well as your Auntie Suzy and your Army Uncle Mike and your grandparents in heaven.

Love, Your Mommy

a lil break

I realized today that I am spending way too much time on FB and Twitter and Blogger right now. I know my husband would give it all to be here with me and Evelyn and I feel like I'm not taking advantage of my time with her, like he would.
So I'm here to say I'm taking a break. Before I know it Evelyn will be a year old and I want to remember every moment with her.
I'll be back soon until then I'm going to be spending my time with this beautiful face!

look at me

not fair! 

she was supposta be tiny forever

I'm a proud mama though!
(I should probably add she can only do this for about a minute)

Day 10: Picture

A Picture of me!

cant leave Evelyn out of the picture :)

Military Wife Survey

  YAY another thing for me to do!! thank you Married to the Army X2 for posting this!

 

1. How long have you been a Military wife? 20 months lol

2. What branch of service is your husband? Army

3. Active/Reserve? Active

4. What is his job? Field Artillery (going Airborne)

5. How many deployments have you gotten through? Currently on our Second deployment in 3 years.

6. What do you like about being a Military wife?  Pretty much everything! I mean deployments suck pretty bad! But I love the friendships and the lifestyle.

7. Do you live on base? Not currently but we will in a month

8. What is your favorite base so far? Only been at Fort Riley.

9. What’s the hardest part of the military life? deployments...bar none!

10. Do you go to the grocery store or commissary? I go to Hyvee and Commissary. It depends on what we need.

11. Do you work or stay at home? Stay at home.

12. Do you have a lot of Military wife friends? Lots in the bloggin world! but at Riley not many.

13. Do you prefer walmart or the PX/BX,MCX or NEX? Walmarts way cheaper.

14. How did your husband propose? Gave me my ring Christmas morning while laying in bed together.

15. Did you marry him after he joined or before?after

17. How long have you been together? 3 years.

18. Any kids yet? One little girl :)

19. Any kids yet to come? Nope!

20. Is your husband one of those (I am Soldier hear me HOOAH) kind of guys? Hell to the NO!

21. Have you ever done combatives with your husband? Nope.

22. How many bases have you lived at? One but moving to Bragg in April.

23. If you could change one thing about the military? Deployments! Though I am super glad they are making them shorter!

24. Do you like military balls? Havent been. My first one is in December :)

25. Where does your family live? Utah and his in California.

26. What do you do for your job? Stay at home mommy!

27. Have you ever gotten in a fight with a NCO’s wife? No. I'd rather my husband not get into trouble for my mouth.

28. Name something you do when your husband is gone? stay busy!! do things with friends. read books and catch up on movies and tv series.

29. Do you think other wives do that too? Yepp!!

Day 9: Songs

1. Wait for Me - Theory of a Deadman


2. Toes - Zac Brown Band
Click here for Video

Day 8: Films

1. Titanic

2. The Boondock Saints (need I say more?)

3. Harry Potter Movies.

What I've Learned...

Well my friend Katie at The Life of an Army Wife did a blog the other day called "What I've Learned Thus Far", which had to do with how much shes learned since giving birth to her little beauty. I loved that she posted that, so I decided to be a total bitch and steal her idea and do my own :)

1. Sleeping when the baby sleeps- I have to agree with Katie...this is so not possible all the time! It was easier when I had just gotten Evelyn home, and had Paul to help take care of her with me and clean up our messes. But since Paul left I cannot always nap with Evelyn. I have to make sure the house, even if its not mine, is clean. Believe it or not, its really not easy being a "single but married" mother, I have to make 2 trips from my bedroom to the living room to start and end my day. So when Evelyn sleeps I clean the house or at least straighten my area, then pay bills and other things.

2. The fears- I had always heard about risks, even before I was pregnant. I knew about SIDS, jaundice, suffocation, you know all that grand old scare the living hell out of you stuff. I really quite honestly didnt freak out about it until after I had Evelyn. Paul is by far one of the cheapest men I know! I can find the best deals and he is still unsatisfied that it wasn't free. So when I asked him if it was ok for me to buy the Angel Care Monitor, thats a motion and sound monitor he told me no. I listened to him at first, and decided I might be over reacting, I am a new mom after all, but I recently decided that I will need to get Evelyn in the habit of sleeping in her own room away from me when Paul gets home from Iraq, and the thought already terrifies me! I purchased the monitor yesterday. I love my husband but if anything were to ever happen to Evelyn that could have been provented by the monitor then I'd never forgive myself.

3. Breastfeeding- Evelyn was not born like most babies. Evelyn had a bowel movement when she was still in my belly, so when she was born I did not get to nurse right away and I did not even get to nurse for HOURS after she was born, since everyone would not give her to me. So when it was time to really nurse, Evelyn really was not interested. I got her to latch the first time with no cooperation from Evelyn at all, and struggled with it until recently when my milk finally has slowed down! I had very little help from Paul because he would get so upset that Evelyn was screaming and I hated to give her formula. It took sometime and tonz of patience but Evelyn is now 100% breastfed! I never ever thought it would be hard, I thought I'd get so lucky and she'd be a champ, but I had to work at it a little more.

4. Patience - I have never had much of it. So I've been surprised at how well I have done, especially since Paul went back to Iraq. I have not had to ask for much help from my parents. Its really done me good to be thrown into this "single but married" lifestyle right away. We all know deployments are always going to come, and even though I know next deployment I'll be dealing with a toddler, but its already started me on learning to be patient with Evelyn. When she's crying and I cant figure out why, I'm still just as happy to learn more about what she needs then worry about her frustrating me.

5. Poop- I never thought I would be so open about that. I always found it totally nasty to hear parents talk about the colors and look of it...but now...its normal.

6. Old Life - I honestly could give a shit-less about my old life. I am beyond happy in this one. Everytime I think about not having Evelyn my mind flicks back to her and I look at her and smile. My old life was nothing compared to this one! I have a purpose and its the job I was meant to do!

7. Its all about her!- My friend Jennie told me that my daughter would become my best friend after I had her. I took that pretty much with a grain of salt (sorry Jennie), but Paul was my best friend and I never thought someone, especially a baby could take his spot....well Paul is still my best friend, but Evelyn is too! She's by my side all the time, and I hate leaving her with my parents while I shower or pick up the house. I love to watch her sleep and laugh at her quivering chin when she cries. Evelyn and her Daddy are the best gifts I've ever had in my life!!

Day 7: Books

1. Harry Potter Series!!

2. Something Borrowed

3. Something Blue

4. LA Candy

Is It Time Yet?

Since my husband left, and we found out about me being preggo. I couldnt wait for July to get here! July has come and gone and July was exactly what I thought it would be.
August was my month of prepping to go back to Fort Riley. Since the other day when I found out my new address and my move-in date in Fort Riley, time has seriously slowed the hell down!
I'm packing up 3 people and heading to Fort Riley on September 13th. Arrive to Riley on the 14th and sign the papers on the 15th!....but its only the 10th of August and my whole world has slowed down!
This was not suppose to happen. I've been waiting forever to move! Don't get me wrong...I loved working on my family relationships, even though this whole experience of moving home has cause a lot of problems with one of my family members.
I told myself to keep everything organized *CHECK* and make sure that I can fit all of this into one vehicle...hopefully*CHECK*. Those two were super easy long term goals!
I have been downstairs packing up everything I dont use and I am almost done....wow that only took a few hours, even with a baby! BUMMER...less stuff to do.
I now just have the car to take care of and then packing all of the last minute things.

Really...I need more things to do.

BTW this is my house :)

thats my best friends daughter

they went to check the house out for me.

I'm totally stoked...even if it is on post.

P.S heres my cute little one.

I LOVE that binkie!

Day 6: Foods!

1. Cake!! Can't ever resist it!

2. Corn on the Cob! Not regular corn

3. Chicken Parmigiana

4. Pork Chops in a Creamy Champagne Sauce! (recipe here)

5. Chocolate Chip Cookies!!

Day 5: Places

1. Heaven is my ultimate pick! I miss my sister so much and I'd love to know what she thinks of my husband and her darling niece. Though I know it will be a long time till I can find out what she really thinks, all I can do is hope she's proud of me!

2. Venice, Italy

3. Bora Bora

4.  Auschwitz Germany(big world war 2 buff)

5. Big Island, Hawaii

6. (back to) Pearl Harbor, Hawaii

Day 4: 7 Wants

1. Paul to come home safely.

2. Evelyn to grow up Happy and Healthy!

3. A Jeep Larado. (2009 to be exact)

4. A Sexy Curvy Body!

5. A Money Tree

 

6. A colonial home, all paid off!

7. An iPad

all images except 2 came from google images

Day 3: Fears

1. The biggest fear of mine right now is....Paul not coming home, which since the attack in June has been on my mind constantly.

2. Having something happen to Evelyn. Thats a HUGE one.

3. Heights...I cant even stand getting on a ladder.

4. Loosing another sibling before their time.

5. Getting in a car crash...especially with Evelyn or Paul in the car with me. I'm super paranoid about it.

6. My little brother screwing up again.

7. My "other" "brother" coming after me and my family.

8. Failing my husband and daughter.

People. Suck.

I've never really been a people person. Sure in person I'm super nice, even when you irritate me...but I think Facebook has drawn out the evilness in me....especially making more and more people even suckier!
I deleted about 70 people off of my facebook after my husbands unit was attacked back in June. I felt like if these people couldn't even utter the words on a stupid computer, and a stupid social networking site just to say..."I'm Sorry" then they dont deserve to see my daughter or get info on my life, because the obviously are not friends.
A few of them emailed me after I deleted them and they said they had no idea that had happened and asked to be "friends" again. I forgave and went on. Since I have given birth I have had about 10 people add me that I had deleted...so I figured well I guess I can forgive and forget....
But still not a word from them. Even on my daughter! Nothing. Freaking stalkers or spies.
I dont know. I've never been a fan of alot of these people in the first place...some I just went to High School with...but thats just a little ridiculious.
So here I go again...off to delete more people but I hope they all enjoy my current status which says...

"I dont understand people...I delete you because you couldn't and wouldnt say anything supportive after my husbands unit was attacked..then you add me to see my daughter and STILL have nothing to say...I'm going through and deleting people again..if you wanna be apart of my life away from Utah learn to TALK"

Don't you agree? Don't people just sorta suck?

Day 2: Loves

I love this! Because its sooooo easy!!

1. Family. My own little one and then my now extended family.
2. Our Army Friends...they are the best!
3. Travel...I'd love to do more of it.
4. Music...every single type.
5. Bedtime! no explanation needed.
6. Pedicures...again no explanation.
7. Fruits! onlt good for one season in a year.
8. The water. Any type of open water.
9. Shopping....because I cant indulge in it all the time.

Tomorrow...8 Fears.

10 Day Challange

I saw this on Amateur Hour in NC's blog and thought this might be fun. I got the whole month of August to make fly by before I move back to Riley. Which by the way I am freaking stoked about..BUT I need a good project, and 10 days is perfect to help blow off some time.

10 Secrets...

1. My husband wants to name his "son" after him...I dont really want to because I cannot find a nick name for Paul. Other then that I dont mind it...its just having 2 Pauls in the house and getting them confused that worries me.
2. My husband LOVES sushi....I hate it. Too many flavors at once.
3. Even if I wanted to have a career....I honestly wouldnt have any idea on what I would do. Nursing seems great, till you deal with people. Customer service is awful. Being alone sucks. I guess thats why I am so content with being a housewife, its simple to me.
4. I was never a "clean the house and have a nice straightened house all the time" type of person until I got married and then I loved my house being straightened up.
5. I also was AWFUL with saving money...until I got married. I never ever budgeted, and I always used my parents to bail me out when I needed help. I am proud to say Paul and I only had to ask for money once or twice since we got married and it was always for a good reason! and yes...we paid them back.
6. I have one tattoo...and I'd love to have more...but I am sure with the ideas I have that I'd regret them in a few years...so I have no idea how to pick another tattoo. I'd love to get a Harry Potter lightening bolt on my ankle...or vampire fangs on my back...but I know they are dumb ideas...also I'd love the bat symbol.
7. Our children will never EVER hear about what happened the night Paul and I first "hung out"....lets just say, I hardly remember it, and trying to keep up with a heavy drinker when your a light weight isnt so smart! Though I've been told what happened, our children just dont need to know that....at least until they are married and I'm almost dead.
8. I have a pretty big obession with Talk Shows...like Dr. Phil. I loved Oprah. But I used to be obessed with Reality TV...now its just getting alot dumber.
9. But I am a later bloomer with alot of newer shows..such as True Blood (didnt start watching it till season 3) Dexter (still waiting to watch it) Glee (started late in season 2..and still waiting to finish Season 2)....yepp late bloomer.
10. I love to read...but I suck at doing it. It takes me days to finish a book but it takes me months to even start the book! Its awful. I feel bad for my kindle.

Ok...so these might be a little bit more of "facts" then "secrets" but I dont really have secrets...seriously.

Tomorrow is.... 9 Loves.

Operation: Better Bod

This post is ment to be 100% honest.

Before I was pregnant, I wanted to loose weight but didnt so anything about it...I really dont know why I didnt try. I just didnt care as much I guess. When Paul was set to deploy my goal was to lose weight. I wanted my curvy skinny-self back instead of being a blob! But things change.
Now that I have given birth I am ready to start eating healthier and change some things.

Pregnancy helped me alot with cutting out Soda's. I wont deny it, I had a severe addiction to Sodas before pregnancy. I couldnt go without it, because I literally with drawled from it. One time it was so bad I was shaking and throwing up. But I knew that, that was not healthy and quit soda for a good while when I found out I was pregnant. I allowed myself a soda (sometimes two) a day towards the middle of my pregnancy from being so tired and having no energy. Now that I've had Evelyn I have been keeping up with it. Lots and Lots of water, and maybe a soda a day.

Though I cannot work out till at least 6 weeks after delivery, I am limited to what I can do now. I still have to keep up with calorie intake since I am breastfeeding, which another bonus in that is it helps burn calories! But I still make sure I eat well.

I am very uncomfortable with posting how much I actually weigh right now...but lets just say, on a BMI chart I would be considered obese. Sadly. I dont think I am obese, because I have huge boobs (G size to be exact) so I think if I had a little bit of a normal size then I would drop the weight to not be concidered that anymore.

Anyways...I just want a better body. Its going to take work, and because I am moving right after my 6 week appointment I might be a little more delayed in this, but with eating healthy I am hoping by the time Paul gets home I can loose at least 10 pounds.

So here it goes! This is what I look like right now... (my top is not off because my stretch marks are still red and its nasty to me)

hopefully I can give an update once a month

Promotion

The day Paul found out I was pregnant he found out he was being promoted to Sergeant.
The day I gave birth to Evelyn, Paul found out he was being promoted to Staff Sergeant!

I dont know. I've usually always been lucky and a pretty good guesser, but that just seemed a little weird to me.
Paul only went to the Promotion Board because they basically made him, and he went to the board only days before he came home on leave! He was literally only on Promotable Status for 3 weeks!!
I just hope they dont change his orders now....I am so stoked about Fort Bragg.

Congrats to my husband!! I am so proud of you!! Less the 5 years in the US Army and your fast tracking it! I couldnt be prouder of you!! I cant wait to hold you and see you again! Your the best!!

Evelyn and I love you!!

Newborn Photos

Ahh I love these photos. Though Evelyn looks so mad at us...which she was. She was pretty fussy! We're going to get some more done later on. But I'll take all the chances I can get to show off my little beauty.