weeks before P left for JRTC, I was saying how nice it would be to not have to worry about picking up his sweaty PT clothes, getting all the pillows to myself at night, have girl nights with Evelyn and ya know so on and so forth... I am pretty sure I was just fooling myself. Lets face it, as nice as it is to not have to pick up his nasty PT stuff... I do miss him. Its easier with Evelyn, because really its not any different other then P doesn't come home at the end of the day. So when the day is said and done, Evelyn is in bed and its just me... its lonely.
I feel bad that I even told P that I was looking forward to being alone... I don't really mind being alone, but really... it gets old. Fast. But its not like I have a choice in the matter.
I mentioned in my last post that I was having a hard time functioning, probably has a little to do with pregnancy and some mild depression. Since P left... I have been deep cleaning my home. I mean I'd love to move my furniture, but that's clearly not going to happen. But I am a cleaning machine! and I like it! I think I missed being a houseywifey. Its been nice and Evelyn is back to being so helpful with it. Its like Mom never took like 10 week break from her job.
Its also been my goal to prepare for baby as much as I can... but I realize that's not just going to happen. I can at least get the room pretty cleared out... but I have to back off and realize not everything will be perfect. I wish I could give little baby L, everything I had for Ev when she was born... but we were in different circumstances. Thank goodness I am breastfeeding so I don't have to worry too much about feeding things, and I have my pump, crib and bassinet still! That is enough for the first few weeks and I know it.
I like how this post is much better then my last one. :)