Thursday, January 17, 2013

doing the best I know how to.

If your not a Mom you might not notice all the harsh judgment in the parenting world. Sure I love being a parent, infact I think I am doing a fantastic job (most days) with Evelyn. But then instead of it being parenting like your parents and grandparents had, you have the added stress of social media.

Now I am all for being all you can be, super mom, crunchy mom, over the moon Mom...but I'm gonna be honest...thats not at all who I am.

I dont know if other Mom's feel like this but you feel this huge amount of pressure to better your child constantly. No sugars, no flour, no spanking, dont feed your kids corn dogs, no TV, no spoiling, no germs, no no no no no. ALL THE TIME.

I do not personally have the means to feed my child organic food all the time. Its not that I dont think organic food is better for you, I ate regular food my whole life and I am fine. But I personally cannot afford it. P and I are working to better our finances, eat better and be better parents and the first thing on my mind is not spending $50 more of food just because its a little better for you.

Now before I keep going...I am not bashing on ANYONE. I am just trying to get out some frustrations I feel.

I have said on twitter and even Facebook that our world has just become one big world of "your doing this wrong"...and I am at the point where I am freaking sick of feeling like I dont do enough. I try really hard to do things with Evelyn, and I think its terrible that I feel like an awful parent when I just flat out dont want to do much one day. I know Evelyn is just happy as can be if we sit and have an off day where we do movies, but then you hear comments or read articles about how your rotting your childs brain by even letting them watch TV. Your also encouraging laziness.

My Mom and Dad always did things with me and my siblings, and I love looking at those photos and those videos. When my sister died, alot of things like that stopped, my parents were heartbroken, I was 9 and didnt understand what just happened and neither did my younger siblings. While my parents did their best, a lot of things that should have been happening when I was 9 and 10 and even older didnt happen.

If its one thing I am learning from my parents losing a child its to take it one day at a time and enjoy every moment. Who freaking cares if Evelyn and I dont leave the house for a day or two, we are enjoying eachother, and its not like I am throwing her infront of the TV and going into a seperate room to be by myself, we are always together.

I've gone through a ton of shit in my life, more then the average person usually goes through, and I am doing my hardest to be me and be the parent I want to be. While I appreciate reading articles and learning about what I could be doing more of with Evelyn, I do know I need to take it day by day and just enjoy this time. You just never know whats going to happen in the future.

All I am trying to say is if your a Mom feeling the pressure to have the amazing perfect child, that can do no wrong, who was raised the "right" way, who ate all the right things, who talks perfectly by the time he/she is 2, who knows every shape and color before 2...just know your not alone in feeling the pressure, and its totally just fine to take it easy and parent the best way you can. Theres no harm in taking a "day off" and being lazy. No harm in feeding your child a corn dog just because your not in the mood to make a fancy lunch. No harm in anything your doing, your doing the best you know how to.


Chantal said...

It's SOOO tough being a mom. You feel like you're doing the right thing, but then someone comes by and tells you to do something differently.

Katie said...

So, I'm not a mom. And hopefully, I'm no where near that point in my life. But I was thinking about all this stuff in relation to how I was raised. I watched Rugrats every day with my sisters, my mom read me stories, we did crafts, we ate McDonalds, and we played super nintendo...And every says how my sisters and I have always been the most well-behaved, extremely down to earth, we're healthy, and we turned out okay :) There's no right or wrong way to parent as long as you always have your child's well being in mind. :)

Audrey Spence said...

Yeah I'm sure my parenting isn't ideal for most people. I don't always have activities planned and lately it seems like Charlotte spends most her days watching something on netflix or playing with her leap pad (at least that's educational right?. I stay in pjs... a lot. Especially when I know I'll be cleaning. I only have 2 pairs of jeans right now and why get them dirty cleaning and have to do more laundry later when I can be in shorts or sweats and a tshirt and its all good if I get bleach on me. I think that as long as your kids know they're loved, you spend family time together doing whatever your family likes to do, and your kids have food and shelter and clothes, then you're doing an alright job. I can't afford organic food either. Every now and again I have a few bucks to pick up some treats at Trader Joes (I loooooooove that store!) but you do the best you can with what you've got. And Evelyn is super lucky to have been born into your family! She is loved a million times over by them all and has great parents to give her what she needs! :)

Our Little Fam said...

I feel you! Great post. Taking it day by day is the best advice. I think you are super Mom. Evelyn is so cute and adorable.

Lou said...

im with katie... im not a mom but i was raised on rugrats and mcdonalds...and frankly i think your doing a AMAZING job i love looking at the pics you put up on fb of the activites you guys do and you know what your doing great!!!! I think your doing it right...and remember every family is different and thats how we get our own personality and opinions!!! your doing awesome!

Jen said...

I think you are an amazing mom! Screw what other people think, she is your child and you do the things that you think are best! :)

MrsMcDancer said...

Moms can be so hard on other moms! I think it's so ridiculous how parenting tends to become one giant one upmanship contest. Just keep doing the best you can and you will have a happy kid :-) {or at least I hope so, because that's what I keep telling myself!!!}

Emily Walsh said...

Hi I'm Emily! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog!


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