P is back on the GCF, which means if something happens he is gone. He's been on it before and its never bothered me. This time however, they sent P a packing list and we had to pack him all up just incase. While our living room was destroyed with Army gear and I'm highlighting the things he's packing I suddenly realize...I forgot how this all felt.
I told myself after 2 back to back deployments I would never forget, I would never dull the feeling to the extent of forgetting that at any moment we could be on a time line for him to deploy.
I have become comfortable.
I sat there and remembered how many times I ragged on him for sleeping in when it was my night, Fighting because he made a mess, telling him to sleep on the couch when he was drunk and I didnt want to deal with him. Now I know that we are also a married couple and married couples fight, and thats completly normal, but I'm sure I am not the only other Army Wife that has felt like they slipped into the comfortable feeling like we are normal and its not possible for him to leave again.
Having P be on the GCF this time has really opened my eyes. I am fine with being comfortable but not to the point to being a normal comfortable.
So with P's birthday coming up, and I planning on pulling out all the stops (especially since his B-Day is Super Bowl Sunday), and having a celebration! He doesnt want anyone to come over, which is fine, its not like we have friends here anyways, but I'm planning on making him some of is favorite foods and just making it a party! Valentines Day is coming up too and because we wont have a sitter I'm planning a stay-at-home game date night. Seriously the Wii is the best invention for parents with no sitters for Date Night.
I hope I can create some good memories on these special days, and random days inbetween so if something ever does come up and he has to deploy I won't be looking back and wishing I hadn't fought with him about not putting his dishes away or leaving clothes on the floor.
Live like he's deploying tomorrow.