Friday, January 25, 2013

I forgot.

P is back on the GCF, which means if something happens he is gone. He's been on it before and its never bothered me. This time however, they sent P a packing list and we had to pack him all up just incase. While our living room was destroyed with Army gear and I'm highlighting the things he's packing I suddenly realize...I forgot how this all felt.

I told myself after 2 back to back deployments I would never forget, I would never dull the feeling to the extent of forgetting that at any moment we could be on a time line for him to deploy.

I have become comfortable.

I sat there and remembered how many times I ragged on him for sleeping in when it was my night, Fighting because he made a mess, telling him to sleep on the couch when he was drunk and I didnt want to deal with him. Now I know that we are also a married couple and married couples fight, and thats completly normal, but I'm sure I am not the only other Army Wife that has felt like they slipped into the comfortable feeling like we are normal and its not possible for him to leave again.

Having P be on the GCF this time has really opened my eyes. I am fine with being comfortable but not to the point to being a normal comfortable.

So with P's birthday coming up, and I planning on pulling out all the stops (especially since his B-Day is Super Bowl Sunday), and having a celebration! He doesnt want anyone to come over, which is fine, its not like we have friends here anyways, but I'm planning on making him some of is favorite foods and just making it a party! Valentines Day is coming up too and because we wont have a sitter I'm planning a stay-at-home game date night. Seriously the Wii is the best invention for parents with no sitters for Date Night.

I hope I can create some good memories on these special days, and random days inbetween so if something ever does come up and he has to deploy I won't be looking back and wishing I hadn't fought with him about not putting his dishes away or leaving clothes on the floor.

Live like he's deploying tomorrow.

5 comments:

Morgan Neal said...

We just got taken off the deployment list for January and got put on GCF too. I balled my eyes out last night. It has seriously been a week from hell.

Definitely live like he deploys tomorrow!

Tyah Ferguson said...

Aw I am so sorry to hear it! But proud of you for trying to make the most of every moment! I cannot image all the stress you are feeling (as we have not yet been through a deployment) but I can totally relate to the married arguments, and then wishing those moments didn't take up the precious time we did have. I hope you guys have a spectacular date night!

Jen said...

Hugs my friend! Having been a part of a quick deployment it sucks!!! I really hope you don't have to deal with that. It got to the point for me (because they kept switching flights back and forth) where I just wanted him to go because I was emotional drained.

Audrey Spence said...

Oy... such a pain! My sister is dating this guy in the army reserves and I think he's getting deployed to Afghanistan in the near future for 9 months. It'll be interesting to see how things go with her but its a scary thing when there is so much unknown.

Chantal said...

Yes, live like he's deploying tomorrow! I can't even remember what it was like... and it wasn't that long ago. How sad, huh?

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