Moving Forward

About 2 months ago, I explained how Hubby wanted to re-enlist in the Army and where he is at the put a hold on anyone re-uping until they are a year out. So he has been conflicted because as we all know, the military is downsizing like crazy and there is a chance when he is a year out (in October) that they will tell him no.

So since we found this out we ignored it for a while, and then Hubby decided he couldnt ignore it anymore, he needed to start making plans for in case he got kicked out. We had made decisions to talk about where we would live, since we are both from different states..although California (where he is from) was not an option. It was really hard for me to think about losing insurance with a new baby and I even wrote a blog about it. I dont think alot of people really understood where I was coming from. I am a survivor, I have been through too much in my life to actually believe getting out of the army would ruin our lives. It was deffinitly something that could alter our lives completly and I wasnt bound to take it lightly.

Hubby and I had decided not to talk about it for a while, because it was something we couldnt control, he wants to be home with me and the baby, and I want him home too. But giving up Army life is also alot!

Well last night we finally had the final talk about it. He concidered all his options and decided if he can he wants to stay in the Army, and if not he will be just fine with getting out. The one thing that now scares me is staying in means his next deployment is Afghanistan, which is a deployment I have not had to deal with. I have 2 friends over there right now, so I am hoping their experiences will prepare me for it, plus my other wives who's husbands are over there right now.

We all know our biggest fears are losing our husbands, or them getting injured. I am not afraid to say it. Its my biggest. I am not afraid of being alone, I can handle myself, even though it can be overwhelming at points. I am not afraid to raise my children alone for a year. I prepared myself a long time ago to deal with these types of things. Needless to say, ready for this year to be over, for the contract to be signed or not, to know after he has signed on the dotted line that there is no turning point. Then my fears will go away and I will be ready to handle whatever life throws at me.

I face life and its problems head on, and dont runaway from them. I am ready to deal with whatever it wants to throw my way, I will handle them, deal with them, and throw them in my past. I am not afraid of life. I love my husband dearly, and I will follow him no matter what he decides to do.