Friday, February 1, 2013

10 years

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'd know a little about my past. My past meaning my other brother. My other brother who I never talk about, the brother who was living with my parents while I was home for deployment #2. You know the one who's in prison.

If you don't know my brother this is the short story about him.

He is adopted. He's just 9 months younger then me. He has many issues from his birth mother abusing him as well as kids we grew up bullying him. He molested me and my little sister. He didn't live at home for a long time, when he did move back in with my parents it was an absolute live on the streets or not situation. I have forgiven him. He has not "forgiven me". He is in prison for 2 to 3 years for child endangerment.

Yes, there are lots of issues with my brother, and I am glad he's no longer apart of my life or really apart of my part of my family at all. My mother keeps in touch, but I think she does it because she scared, and I understand that.

This post I am writing about is about how it has now been 10 years since he molested me, and I told on him and he was sent away. I have had many issues with this in my life, I've always felt like I'd never get over it. After I had a face to face talk with him, where I laid it all out with him and told him that I had no more resentment, no more fear, and I was just in a place where it didn't bother me so bad, I've learned how much more issues he really has. Now he is in prison and I know he is there for not being a good person. He doesn't know Evelyn's name or that she is even a girl. He's not allowed to even try to contact me.

Its weird to get to this point in my life and just know that after all these years, I am finally at peace with what happened. And although I have the feeling and need to protect my family from him, because its become clear to me that he thinks I did this to him, and I ruined his life, and that he is not getting any better. I am glad to look back at a time where all I wanted to do was die, and hated my life when everyone thought I made it up, to him telling the truth and going through the court system, to dealing with PTSD, and moving in with my Aunt for a few months. I am glad I can look back and say I survived this. Best part of it all is I said something and I'm so glad I did because he had also been hurting my sister and I truly know I saved her.

I know I am not the only one that has gone through these things, and I know how hard it is to move on. But I'm so glad I never gave up and I got better, because my life is turning out pretty fantastic.
Never give up. Life only gets better!


Katie F said...

What a brave post. This brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that they happended to you. And your so right your life is fantastic and your beautiful baby girl is a true testament to having an amazing, strong and beautiful mom

Jen said...

You are such an amazing and brave woman for posting this! I am so sorry that you had to go through this but you have chosen to rise above it and be an amazing person. Hugs!

Chantal said...

Thank you for sharing, I'm sure that was difficult!

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