Another HP Post.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 trailer came out today!!! I am so excited I can barelly stand it. July 15th is the day and my due date is July 19th...so I hope Baby Love will hold out till I watch this...and if this movie forces me into labor that will be an awesome story.....yes I am a freak.

Is It May Yet??

I'm really looking forward to May...seriously it hasn't taken too long to get here but I am really ready for it! May is full of different things! Mothers Day, My Birthday, A newly planned trip to Arizona, and baby shower planning.

I know May is going to fly by for me with this deployment. I've been looking forward to May since we got out of the Holdiays, which make the deployments go by so much slower!!

Sadly this is my 3rd birthday I will not have my husband with me...Last year he was in the Field so I spent my 21st birthday by myself...but the week before my mother flew me to Maine to see my brother, and the day of my birthday Hubby's superiors let him talk to me almost all day! It sucks to of not had one single birthday with him but I am really hoping next year we can finally do something! fingers crossed!!

I'm really happy this month is only a few days away and I'm really excited to get this month done with! I cant wait for July!! I miss my husband and my daydreaming has only become more frequent and the tears are getting worse and worse. I do cry...but not like this very often. I'm really looking forward to May being here, and having more things to do!!

Hope you all have a wonderful rest of April!!

Something Borrowed

So I've always really loved to read, I'm really picky about books and if I can't get into the store within the first few chapters I cant read the book. My husband knows I am a reader just like my parents and he gave me a Kindle for an early Mother Day present. I was super stoked and got to work on it right away...over the last week of me having my Kindle I have finished 2 books and started another one.

I love books turned into movies, and I kept thinking that movie..Something Borrowed looked super cute! First book bought!...2 days later.....I LOVED IT! It was so hard to put down! Found out in my niffty book selections tablet that there was another book called..Something Blue! Second book bought!!.....2 days later....LOVED IT! Seriously this author knows how to keep my eyes locked on the book.

Now I am on to reading Water For Elephants and I am loving it so far...I have plenty of books I want to read and now that I am becoming a fat lazy pregnant woman I am enjoying every minute of my down time reading! I cant wait to read the True Blood books, and poissibly the Sex and the City books. This Kindle is gonna be my deployment life-saver!

Proud Sister Moment and 28 Weeks!!

Before I do my 28 weeks post, my little sister was in a pageant yesterday! It was for other handicapped children, and it was really amazing to watch! I smiled the whole time!!
Alisha was Super Girl for her Superhero, and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for her Talent. She did such an amazing job! I am so proud of her and she placed 3rd! Won her first crown and everything!! So proud of her!

So here I am 28 weeks! and that means I am in my 3rd and Final Trimester!! I've been so exhausted and starting to feel like my belly weighs 40 pounds!!
I have my sugar test next week which I'm not too excited about, but I am ready to get it over with!!
Sorry this post isnt longer...I got a few things going on today. I'll make up for it I promise!!! But as always heres my update from BabyCenter.Com and my BELLY!!

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

Getting There.

I am finally at that point of complete exhaustion! I am emotionally tired and physically tired. I wish I could be babied!

My brother and sister-in-law have been living here with my nephew Ashton and just barelly bought a house and finally recived their keys yesterday...though they have not moved their beds and stuff out yet...they moved a few things. I'm really looking forward to them getting out as awful as that sounds. They dont clean, and I clean up after them and their baby constantly...and last night I reached my point of breaking down! It was at the point of I did the dishes and they saw me do the dishes then left more dirty dishes on the counter only minutes after watching me finish cleaning. I broke down and cried to my mom after they went to bed.

On another note...my brother being in jail has really helped! I'm not as paranoid or as stressed anymore...but he has been trying to get ahold of my mom, and shes pretty much cut her ties with him. Its a sad thing, but I agree with my mom, shes done so much for him and he's just thrown it in her face...sadly there is nothing more she can do, she has to protect my handicapped sister and her grandchildren from him. So I know its a work in process to get back to the "norm" but I am glad to finally start the process.

Thanks to everyone for the advice on the Airborne. I'm really excited for Hubby to do it...though I am terrified for him to jump out of a plane! But I know that this will be a great thing to add to his career and give us more oppertunies as far as duty stations...like Italy and North Carolina :) I cant wait to find out and I am sure I'll blink my eyes and I'll be watching him get his wings! This year is going by so fast and I couldnt be happier! My pregnancy is going on and on and on...I'm still sick everyonce in a while, and I'm emotionally exhausted from a million things, plus all this extra weight! I am ready to be done!! 12 more weeks to go!!

Busted.

So my post on Monday...while still of vital importance to me...since I am sure this will still be a process...I have an update on..

My brother has been arrested. Right now we dont know how he got caught or anything, but my Older Brother has a friend who works with a law firm, and she was checking the status of his warrant every few days for us, and she told us today that he was arrested yesterday.

So while this feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders knowing he is not out and about, I still know its a process to recovery and getting more back to my normal self. I also am very aware they are probably going to use his juvenile record against him, which means I could get called in to testify or whatever. I'm more then prepared to do that...I want to get it over with though. Facing your attacker this many times sorta gets to be a pain in the ass and more like scratching a scab. Hopefully this is the last time I will have to face him about this issue ever again.

Thank you for all your support. I feel very much more at ease and am ready to relax and deliver my baby girl in my hometown. Though I know its a process, at least its a process I can start now.

Airborne Questions.

So my loving husband has decided to sign up for Airborne Training. He always used to tell me he'd be too scared to jump out of an airplane...but he signed up for it. I'm super excited about it, because it opens many more doors for him, and as a 13-D they have very limited promotions. Seriously...it took over a year for him to get his Sergeant.
I dont know anything really about Airborne...and so I am asking my wives if they know ANYTHING about it. I guess the school is in Fort Benning, Georgia...which there or Fort Bragg, North Carolina sound like dreams to me. I am dying to go to the Carolina's! I read up on the school and it seems really intense. But I hear all the time what a great runner my husband is, and he works his ass off in PT and loves to work out.

For those who know me personally I am not going to say anything about it on Facebook or to my extended family until everything is offical...the army is not always super reliable.

But I am very curious what happens at these schools and what this means for his career. If anyone has any comments or wants to give me or Hubby any advice feel free...I'm a very anxious person and like to know everything!

Thanks you guys!! Lots of Love!

27 Weeks!

Holy Smolly! Last week of my 2nd Trimester!! (started wearing a belly support belt and I love it!)

How far along: 27 Weeks.

Total weight gain: Finally gained 3 pounds!

 

Size and growth of the baby: Heres my Update from Baby Center.Com

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

Sex: Little Angel.

Maternity clothes: Wearing them...loving them!

Sleep: Not sleeping well at all. Toss and turn constantly!

Best moment(s) of the week: Getting her diaper bags! One for Daddy and one for Mommy.

Movement: I got a boxer in my belly!

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing really anymore.

Morning sickness: Pretty sick again.

Symptoms: Braxton Hicks, Pelvic Pressure.

 

Labor signs: none.

Belly button in or out: In..but getting closer.

What I miss: ahh now sleeping good!

 

What I'm looking forward to: 3rd Trimester!!

I Have Post Tramatic Stress

This blog should not come as a shock to most of you. If you've been reading me for a while you know I have had several traumatic things happen to me in my short (almost) 22 years on this earth. I am ready to share whats going on.

For my new followers I shall shortly explain. I lost my older sister (almost) 10 years ago due to an Enlarged Heart, she died suddenly and we didn't know about it till after she died. After she died I numbed the feeling till I was almost in high school when I was raped by my best friends brother and then attempted suicide multiple times. While I was in treatment my younger (adopted) brother came into my room and touched me while I was asleep...thankfully I woke up and reported him, we later found out he attacked my younger handicapped sister multiple times as well. A year after things started settling down a friend of mine didnt like what I had to say and forced himself on top of me. After things began to settled once more I met my husband and he deployed to Iraq, where I started developing symptoms of PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder), medication seemed to help and I eventually got over it.

Sadly because I have to say, treatment did not help my younger brother who I just explained about, he has more victims and has ran from the police. I know I didn't share this with my readers yet...but its true. My brother was arrested and had court last week and never showed up. He was a warrant out for his arrest but no one knows where he is.

Sadly this is not helping me at all...my husband is now deployed again and having to listen to me go through my post traumatic stress all over again. I am not sleeping...constantly waking up throughout the night, checking doors to make sure they are locked (I didn't mention after my parents kicked him out...a few days later he just walked into the house and went upstairs to bed like it was no big deal). I've had a lot of problems since this happened. I know everyone on my blog as seen an issue with me, and I haven't felt comfortable sharing it. I feel as if I almost have to. Writing has always been very therapeutic for me, and this is my best outlet...since Facebook isnt the best place to say whats on your mind.

Every sound...every door that opens makes me think this monster is coming after me. I cant help myself anymore. I very much need my husband home, and there is no honorable way for him to come home to be with me. I trust my parents because they are doing their best to help me deal with this situation, and to not stress myself out too much. I cant take any sort of medication as we all know...so its me and my brain all the time...fighting a battle I feel as if I am losing. My nightmares are so horrific that I wake up in night sweats. I worry I will end up in early labor from the stress...and it doesn't help that when I call my doctors office they neglect to return my phone calls.

I'm on a losing end. I know the easy solution would be to move back to Fort Riley...but I can only say this so many times....being pregnant and alone is not a smart idea. I have no idea how to help myself anymore. Vacations seem easy...but who wants to go on one alone? My parents cant go because they need to be here to protect my other siblings. I don't want to pay to fly.

My readers, I am worried about my well-being. I am worried that this monster will not be caught and that he will try and hurt my family. My thoughts of him attacking me or anyone else are so realistic that I burst into tears and scream for my parents to comfort me. I tell my husband everything and I know he feels helpless because he knows he cant help me...but by talking to me he does so much.

I share this with you, to let you know whats going on. I know I have said I might be taking a break from blogging for a while before...and then never did. But until I have something more positive (other then my weekly pregnancy update) I am afraid I wont have very Optimistic things to say. Though I am hopeful that the light at the end of this tunnel might be possibly around the corner. I really really hope so. Until then...I am here...I am trying, and I am hoping this all goes away soon.

Thank you.
Elizabeth L.
The Optimistic Army Wife

Lou's Jar'd Cupcakes!

So you all know Lou over at Guinn and Bare It is one of my good bloggy friends! She just started a little business on her own, making and sending Jar'd cupcakes overseas!

I'm for sure going to be taking her up on this! Shes got some really great prices, and is still working out some of the kinks. But lets all be supportive and lend Lacey a hand on this.

You can check out the blog post she wrote with all the prices right *here*

Penn and Teller's Bullshit!

I have the weirdest coolest family ever! I get to learn about all this weird pointless stuff, that has no value to my life what so ever and I love it!!
This show is one I have never heard of before! My big brother bought the DVD called Penn and Teller's Bullshit....and it has talked about Alien Abduction, to Chiropractors...its really hilarious! I think if you get the chance you should watch it!

Pampered!

I'm a firm believer that when the husbands away...we deserve some major pampering! I've been doing my best to keep going and getting pedicures or manicures at least once a month...well I was doing it twice. I'm not getting "any", and my feet are starting to swell...so why not make these little sausages look hot!
But I also cut my hair...not too much just 2 inches...my split ends were awful and its been I think 8 months since I cut my hair. So pampered I am! and its only 1pm...hmm..maybe an online shopping trip is needed. Just a little. By the way I styled my hair myself...what do you think??

Pregnant Much?

If your not up for a personal talk...probably shouldnt read this.

Ok...So I am all for home businesses. Sentsy, Mary-Kay, Avon, Slumber Parties...ya know whatever! I think its great. I usually try to participate in the parties when I have the money....but Slumber Parties, or Passion Parties whatever just are not my thing right now.
I have always kind of had issues with using toys or anything in the bedroom as a regular guest in the bed. I've done a few things with body dusts, but I'm not a huge fan of using everything and anything in there. I find my husband hot and spicy without it.
But right now I keep getting invites to these Slumber Parties....I sometimes wonder...what the hell do people think I am going to do with this stuff right now? Seriously. I dont want to stock pile anything in my parents house, and my husbands deployed and when he gets home for R&R I'm going to be 9 months pregnant....Sounds freaking hot huh!

Then I have friends inviting me to BARS! Ya you heard me BARS! Who invites a pregnant woman to a BAR! I dont like alcohol very much. I never was into it, and even if they didnt know that...how fun would it be for me...for anyone to have me at a bar? What are they thinking....oh right...Designated Driver...HAHA bite me.

Did anyone else get this crap when they were pregnant or just had surgery or anything? I feel stupid having people ask me this...yeah I feel like the stupid one.

26 Weeks!

This morning has been really amazing...truely. I slept awful last night, because recently I cannot sleep on my side...my body decides to flip onto my back and thats great for my intestines to be putting a moving jiggling baby ontop of them for hours at a time. I'd wake up roll over and roll over later again in the night right back onto my back.
I woke up at 6 and decided it was not my time to wake up...crawled into my parents bed...which is big like mine back at Riley and passed out quickly. Only to be woken up to throw up. Ever since I woke up its been drinking water and throwing it right back up. Ate some toast, and had a small glass of soda to try and see if it would help at all, and it actually has...so far.
Plus side at my doctors appointment I finally gained 3 pounds! I've lost over 25 since I got pregnant, and my husbands been calling it the Pregnancy Diet. But I have noticed how much more uncomfortable I am! Its so painful!
I've started to having feelings that feel like contractions, but they dont last long...and they dont keep coming on. So I've been a little worried about that, but because they arnt coming back I havent worried about it too much. But when I am walking and my pelivis and my hips start getting major pains I sometimes wonder what the hell is going on.
Bad side...I got the sugar test at my next appointment...yay.
Below is my BabyCenter.Com update!

26 Week Baby Belly!

The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. She may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. She's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of her lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when she's born and takes that first gulp of air. And she's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel

Counting..

So I have to admit...I am pretty jealous. I love to read Erin's blog @ Moore To Love and she's been doing these countdowns to certain events in the upcoming future since shes going through her first deployment. I certainly think this does help some wives/husbands, and I wish I had more to look forward to in the next 7 months leading up to my husbands return. Shes got trips and visits all planned out and its nice to see her get all excited about them.

Before I knew I was pregnant I had a million and one plans on what I was planning on doing for this deployment. I had planned to move home only till March and then move back to Kansas, and be moved on post instead of being off post. I had planned a trip to Arizona, a trip to California, and also a few trips home to Utah...its funny how life has its ways of working out.

After I found out I was pregnant I obviously couldn't stay in Kansas alone. So it was all decided I would stay in Utah, I still wanted to go to Arizona, but no one wanted to go with me, and I knew I couldn't drive by myself...so that went out the door. I wanted to go to California (San Fran) to visit my cousin who had a baby, and not see my mother-in-law, but my husband didnt want to pay for the plane ticket for me to go there. Ahh.

And so here I am...the one thing I know that is for certain coming is my baby girl! almost 14 more weeks! Which also means R&R! So theres one thing thats sort of a countdown...though I'm not like my husband who stares at a calender everyday, hoping a week will magically disappear from June. I wish I had more certain things to look forward to. But for now...every Tuesday I get to read a new paragraph in my baby book to see what my little girl is up to. Every Sunday Army Wives is on and I usually get a phone call from the husband instead of a facebook chat.

Hmmm I guess writing this did make me realize how much more I do with little things to look forward to. I do wish I could go on a trip soon though....because Utah is still getting SNOW! L.A.M.E

bright side.

So in light of everything thats going on in my life...I have found myself telling...myself that I need to look forward and not backward.

Yes, its totally 100% possible I could be called to testify or make a statement in court because of my brothers actions. Because it is another crime he has committed. But looking on the bright side of everything...I do hope my brother...who I will eventually stop refuring to as my brother soon...gets help. I am not really sure therapy is the best thing for him since he was in in-patient therapy from 14 to 20, and that obviously has not done any good. Jail is probably the better option for him. I can only hope he gets all the punishments he deserves.

On another bright side...I am finally learning not to let this drama get to me. Its a ton of drama. My neighbors feel unsafe, and my family does too. Its been weighing heavily on everyone around us, and I have learned to know that I can only do so much with helping and that I need to just let it go. I have sadly really let the stress and the drama...and especially the depression get to me, and thats not the smartest thing to do to your unborn child. I am learning that lesson, and doing so much better!! I finally am being happy, and though my nerves are getting to me a little about becoming a mommy, I am glad I am finally really enjoying my pregnancy and myself.

Now I am off for a day of hanging out with my friend. Another thing I have really not done...is hang out with friends....when did lives get so complicated?

gimmie gimmie!

I need you so bad Tendercrisp.

Sorry Ya'll

yeah I am not from the South.

But I am not up to the blogging right now. Like I have told you all before my family is going through some private issues, and I dont really know when it will be solved. Its hard to say.

You have no idea how bad I wish I could scream whats going on in my home, but because I dont want to be looked at different, or have anyone judge my family...I cant say it. I can say...this is just one thing not every family deals with. That I might be going to court for a statement. This just sucks.

So if I lack on my blogging, please be understanding. I love all the support you all give me, and I wish so badly I could share whats going on. Its just not an option right now. Hopefully it gets all solved soon. Hopefully this ends ASAP. I'm so over the drama and the stress.

This deployment is 10x's worse then last deployment. I honestly need my husband home, even just for a day. I need to cry in his arms and have him tell me it will be ok. This is one thing that really sucks about deployments. I need him now more then I have yet to need him, and I cant have him. Guess all I can do is carry on the best way I can.

25 WEEKS!

(this is how my belly looked this morning.)

How far along: 25 Weeks.

Total weight gain: still at -20 pounds (I think..its been a while since I weighed myself)

Size and growth of the baby: Heres my Update from Baby Center.Com

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.

Sex: Little Angel.

Maternity clothes: Wearing them...loving them!

Sleep: Cosntantly tired!! Toss and Turn all night.

Best moment(s) of the week: More movements.

Movement: I got a boxer in my belly!

Food cravings/aversions: Really havent had any this week.

Morning sickness: Iys resurfaced.

Symptoms: Kicking, Punching, Cravings!

Labor signs: none.

Belly button in or out: In..but getting closer.

What I miss: my husband missing out on this.

What I'm looking forward to: Doctors Appt. Tomorrow.


Update on the Hubberkins!!

So I realized last night I do update alot on me...not really on how my Husband is doing.

For my new readers, my husband is currently on his 2nd deployment in Iraq, and he left in November...the day after he left I found out I was pregnant. So Hubby hasnt been able to enjoy this little experience very much.

Currently Hubby is getting a new job...which he will have when he gets back to Riley...He files the paperwork for all the soldiers who have to attend classes when they get back. But the Army is making him prepare for it now, so he is been really busy with his regular job and learning this new job. But he some how always manages to slip an email to me inbetween all of it.

Also he is getting SO excited that this pregnancy is making time fly by! Seriously counting in weeks is way better then months! The month goes by so slow and weeks seem to fly by.

Hubby works 12+ hour shifts everyday...which I know alot of your husbands/wives work way more, and then every week he gets 4 hours off early. Which when he is lucky and they dont call him back in, he has been spending playing Dominos.

Hubby also got a really great chance to meet..Oscar De La Hoya, and he loves that! Though I keep hearing people say their husbands hate the food over there, my husband loves it! Latley his only requests from me are brownies, and I'm too tired to bake...but I promised for Easter I'd make tonz of cookies again and brownies. I feel like a lazy wife, but given that I feel like I have a bowling ball in my uterus and on my bladder...I think I can be lazy sometimes.

We got almost 14 weeks till R&R and then after he returns to Iraq, about a month and a half till he gets home! Which that will fly by since I'll be moving and setting up the baby. I'm really excited this deployment has been flying by for the both of us and we both cant wait to spend lots of more time with our little one together.

Day 30!

Day 30 - post a pic of your favorite military SO support group and tell how it has helped you.

I love my bloggy buddies so much!

EWW

So as much as I hate to do a post about this....I need my mommies, my mommies to be, and my other friends to give me advice on....

STRETCH MARKS..

GAH! I have been using this lotion called Blooming Beautiful that I got at Motherhood Maternity, I loved the smell and have been using it pretty good with the occasional forgetting, and I am starting to get stretch marks...GAH. I already have them on my belly from getting a fat-butt (yeah no way around it) So I knew there was a chance I would end up with them, and I would like to really no look like a old balloon with the helium thats gone it of it by the time I have Baby Girl.

Any suggestions!?!? I'll take and try anything!

Day 29!

Day 29 – post a picture of the coolest place you ever got to go to b/c of your s/o being in the military

  

So Hubby was never stationed there...but after his 1st deployment, we decided we should go on a trip together. We had originally planned on going to Jamaica...but it didnt quite work out since he didnt have a passport...and I didnt have POA or his Birth Certificate to get him one. So Hawaii was the next choice.

We did stay on Waikiki Beach (that is the picture) and we loved it! But one huge bummer I had was.....did you know that beach is fake? Totally fake. They bring the sand in. BUMMER.

We were in Hawaii for a week and explored alot of the island! My absolute favorite was Pearl Harbor, my great-great grandfather was a Captain on one of the ships that was hit...dont ask which one because I seriously forget everytime I am reminded.

Anyways...I cant wait to one day go back to Hawaii!