Wednesday, January 18, 2012


So I have mentioned before that we're PCS'ing to Fort Bragg, North Carolina in March...looking like March 10th. I have been wanting to go to North Carolina for a long time! I have been excited about moving...BUT the last few days I have felt my anxiety level rise.

I guess mostly its because I have really good friends here finally! I love my house and I finally feel settled. Now I am about to move for the 4th time in 2 years and I am scared. Yepp scared. My doctor has given me xanax because I do have anxiety at night time especially. But I am now more nervous then ever.

I am sure I am not the only one who is scared to leave behind a good life and start a new life somewhere else. I am ready to leave Kansas behind, but I am not ready to leave my friends.

I am scared that I will get to North Carolina and have no friends. I am not the most open person, and I know how some Army Wives can be. Plus it doesnt help that my husband is a 24 (almost 25) E6 and most E6's are older and so their wives and kids are older. So I have no idea how this is going to work! My husband is NOT one of those guys that only hangs out with his rank dudes. He hangs out with E5's and even one E4 as long as he's not their NCO. But I dont know how this is going to work.

Plus...I have no idea if I should even plan Evelyn a birthday party. :( We are planning on taking her to Disney World which would be a birthday thing...and I will be home in August for a month and we'll be throwing her a party then too. But none for Hubs and I? I am conflicted.

My body is not accepting this very well, I am certain that I am about to loose a ton of weight because I have so much stress and worry going through my body, over something I cannot control.

Speaking of non controlling...I am pretty sure that the Unit my husband is joining is deployed right now, which means no deployment for a while, which I NEED! 2, 12 month deployments in 3 years, ya we need a break! But what if something happens?

Yepp...I am in a sea of "what if's". I am not crazy to be so anxious right??


FemminaDaVinci said...

I will be your friend when you get here :) My husband is only an E-5, we're about the same age, and our little one is due in April :)

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