Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Venting...

So its not really a vent...its a getting a few things off my chest...ok so a vent.

I know my husband has been gone for 3 weeks...and I hate feeling like all I want to do is complain about him being gone. BUT, I have no right I feel like. I miss him duh! But I feel bad posting anything on FB or Twitter about missing him. I've done worse, we've done 2, 12 month deployments so I know that 3 weeks is no biggie! Maybe its the fact that I miss him more for Evelyn then for me, I know she doesnt understand he's at work and doing things so that we can have a better life, but even though everything is "Dada" to her, she runs around yelling "DADA!!" and it kills me! I dont know how I'm gonna do it with 6 more weeks of it! He's constantly worried she'll forget him and even though I let her talk to him on the phone and I show her pictures, I cant take that worry away for him. I have so many friends in worst positions then me with Hubs being away so I dont feel like I have the right to complain. I think all my friends know I miss him...but I think they know that I know their situations are worse then mine. So granted I have no right to whine...but I do miss him like crazy!

My Dad is really mad at me for doing "something" to his brand new computer...all I did was authorize my itunes on his itunes and download my library so he could have it for my sister. Somehow that deleted his "16,000" songs he says he had on here before...I dont remember their being 16,00 but I remember there was quite a few. The man is so furious with me he wont even speak to me unless he has to. I dont know how it was my fault and I have appoligized over and over again to him but I'm still the big pain in the ass. It makes me feel like I am 12 all over again!

I've really been missing my house alot...I miss my space and I really miss sleeping in a room without Evelyn moaning and groaning all night. I really miss my car! I feel like I got here and I havent really done anything like I thought I would be doing. But I know that going back to North Carolina isnt gonna help because it would be the same thing without all my cute nephews and niece running around. BTW can I say how weird it is to have a nephew who has a "girlfriend"...he's 13!

I'm also really missing the no one giving me opinions part of my life. My parents think I am just mean with Evelyn, I dont give her cookies or let her drink sugary drinks. Yeah I'm awful..everytime I turn around my mom's giving Evelyn a Nilla cookie...not that those are so bad, but I really try to keep Evelyn on a healthy diet with me. Lots of fruits and veggies and healthy snacks. She has teddy grams and fruit snacks for a fun snack and every once in a while I give her something a little different, but given that the Hubs is trying to keep his weight down and I am dieting I dont want Evelyn getting addicted to sugary foods at a young age. The girls in my family are always known to have a weight problem and I dont want Evelyn to have to feel like I felt in high school and like I feel like now.

But me being Optimistic I gotta say....I am loving being home. Its nice to spend alot of time with family, even though they drive me crazy, which is normal right? Plus the mountains! Are you kidding me! I missed these monsters in the sky! I'm looking forward to Hubs getting in on Saturday and us celebrating his Airborne Graduation and Evelyns Birthday! We have lots of plans and I am looking forward to it! It will be a nice break between all the training he has going on, and even though I'll still miss him I am really happy we're getting this 2 week break between these trainings so Evelyn can spend some much needed time with her Daddy. I'm hoping I can go to OK and see him while he's at training since we got so many friends there...but we'll just have to see! I hope so!!

3 comments:

Julie Danielle said...

My husband was gone for 6 days in June and it was so hard for me for some reason. Not sure why...lol I had to try hard to refrain from posting about because really compared to deployments 6 days is nothing. Funny how that is.

Chantal said...

It's ok to miss him, even if it doesn't feel like you should because he isn't deployed or anything!

____j said...

I know what you mean about your family driving you crazy! That is how I felt the two weeks before we moved. Also, where in OK is he going for training?

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