2010

So the summery of this year if I could throw it all into one word would be......INSANE.

Insane because I moved to Kansas, and back within 9 months. 

Insane because we thought we had longer then 12 months of him being home from last deployment to actually be home. 

Insane because I actually am pregnant! Which is a huge blessing but you never know if you might be the one without the ability.

Insane because it was freaking crazy!

I loved this year, even though it has brought alot of sadness into our lifes but 10x's more joy then we ever expected! Everyone always says the 1st year of marriage is the hardest. Well yeah its hard! You got 2 people who were raised completely differently, and them being thrown into living and breathing the same air everyday. We sure had our good times but we also had plenty of times when we just didnt know.

I am very grateful I got to spend most of my 1st year of marriage in a house with my husband. I learned so much more about him, and we both learned how to deal with each others flaws. Though my husband had a huge problem with drinking this year, I am so glad he picked me over the drinking! Which yes it was that bad that he had to make a choice.

I am greatful for this crazy insane year, and though 2011 is going to be full of sadness and joy, I am ready for it all! 

I cannot wait for my beautiful child to be born, and also my husband to come home from his deployment!! I am very hopeful that he shouldn't deploy for at least 15 months after getting home. You Marines lady's and Air Force lady's have it VERY lucky to have at least 2 or 3 years between deployments and such short ones, count your blessings!

I wont use that cliche "See You Next Year" joke...because I honestly never found that funny at all....but I will see you all in 2011. Have a Happy Safe New Year

Happy Anniversary!!

3:50 PM in a Courthouse in my hometown on December 30, 2009, I kissed my best friend, my hero, and my lover that sealed us together as man and wife! I married the best person anyone could ever ask for, the man who would give me everything to put a smile on my face.
I chose this person to be in my life, I chose to have a family and a future with him, and he chose the same thing as well.

In the last year we have moved me to Fort Riley, had our first home together, bought all new furniture for our home without going into debt, went through some tough problems, delt with JRTC, sent him off on his second deployment, found out we were going to have our first child, and moved me back to Utah.
My beautiful wonderful husband and I have had our issues and our fair share of fights, and as we know many more to come, but I honestly would not have stuck with him if it wasn't worth it and he is worth every second, good and bad he is the man I was ment to be with.

He's not the one I dreamed of when I was younger, he is much better then some prince. He is the bravest and strongest person I know! The man I love falling asleep with at night, even if he can't stand my radiating body heat. The man who will help whenever he is asked. The man who when I am sick will scratch my scalp and make dinner.
I cannot wait for us to have this beautiful wonderful child into the world! We love our little bugger so much!!

On a side note: my doctor had an emergency c-section so I didnt get to meet him. But my nurse let me hear the heartbeat and even let me see the little bug! She/He sure moves a ton! I am filled with so much love!

Word Wednesday

So I was going to do Wordless Wednesday but there are no photos for it!

Today I am going to my doctor and I am (hopefully) FINALLY going to hear my baby's heart beat. I am 11 weeks and have not even met my doctor, so most of the things you normally would have had by now I haven't had. I keep hearing TriCare only pays for one ultrasound so I am nervous I wont see him or her for a while, but my nurse told me that sometimes he takes patients back to the ultrasound room for fun and he just does it himself.
So heres to hoping my appt will go very smoothly!!

11 Weeks!

As I stated before Tuesdays will now be my big pregnancy post of the week! Its also a cool way to document how I am feeling since I am better at typing then writing.
Yesterday I was feeling like crap all day...I had one day to work this week and couldn't do it. I hear all the time that morning sickness slows down around this time, but mine has just seemed to pick up!  So I sadly had to stay home after throwing up 5 times in an hour! Spent the rest of the day in my pajamas and on the recliner...and a few naps. I find myself lucky sometimes that I work with family because it meant a lot that both of my younger brothers helped me out by working. I can only hope that I am going to start feeling better soon!
My biggest cravings have mainly been candy...you know like Nerds, Skittles...anything without chocolate. I sometimes get randoms ones from thin air...or even smells from people chewing gum. My brother had trident and I could smell it...made me crave fruit roll-ups!
One thing that sucks is this enhanced smell thing....I can smell my nephews stinky diapers from across the room. YUCK. Plus that also helps with the sickness.

So here's my this from Baby Center...I hope you all enjoy!

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

Robin Laid an Egg

Well I hope everyones Christmas was just as enjoyable as mine was. First to tell you all, No morning sickness at all that morning, but I am sure getting payback! I have been laying in bed all day and sleeping for most of it.
We woke up Christmas morning to everyone just being bored...its pretty sad that we have all really lost the spirit. Usually I am very upbeat about Christmas but this year just wasn't the year for me. My little nephew was trying to open his very first Christmas presents but was very bored by having to sit there. So my little sister opened them for him, which he loved!
I got some very pretty jewelry and a $75 visa card from my mom. Hubby gave me a ipod touch which was nice! I am loving playing with it, though I am such a huge music buff and am sad to report the majority of my music collection is all the way in Iraq. So for now I am going to have 2 ipods!
I got to go to my grandmothers and she gave me some crocheted baby booties! I am loving getting things for the little one, even though I am not buying them, I am scared it will jinx it.
It was amazing to see my family, I have a reunion coming up on the 31st and the 1st so I get to see lots more of them! I am hoping the little one will take it way easier on me, since right now all it feels like it motion sickness and that's no bueno. I also have a doctors appt on the 29th! So excited since I'll probably hear the babies heartbeat!

My Secret Santa!

I was so excited I received my Secret Santa Gift yesterday at work! and I actually knew who my Secret Santa was! She was so sweet to send these to me, I havent had the chance to eat my German Candy yet, I have been holding onto it for safe keeping. Hoping I can keep my bottle of (I am assuming) Wine hidden until Hubby and I can share it together.
Its so cool to see this stuff from a place so far away! Written in German and everything! Being that I have only ventured out of the Country to Canada, which was a trip for me! So it was a blast just trying to read it all! '

So thank you to Bonnie @ *The Sometimes Single Mom* you made my week!!!

Now I am sad to say to my bloggers but I am going to not be blogging until Monday! Tonight's my brothers birthday and then I am spending Christmas Eve working till 2pm and being with family!

I hope you all have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Wordless Wednesday

I miss him so much.

10 Weeks!

So every Tuesday from now on its gonna be my pregnancy post. I might not get too many people into this part of my blog, but this is something in my life that I feel is important to share especially with one big support system out there...yes I mean all you military wives/girlfriends out there!

I get all of these from Baby Center, its a website I have felt has alot of information right at my finger tips! Keep in mind I do not know the sex of my baby.

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in  his body rapidly grow and mature.

Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

Ahhh The Life...

I am super excited. I wake up this morning and after getting my booty in gear and dressing up for my skype date with Hubby, I read 2 blog's of girls who are due around the same time as me!! It makes me feel like I announced my pregnancy too early but I think they can all agree its hard to not be excited!!
So I want to throw out a CONGRATS to Katie @ *The Life of an Army Wife* and *Committed to a Solider*.

Looking forward to reading up on their pregnancy's too!

I know alot of you know that I have been sexually abused in the past a few times but none of you know one of the times it was by a family member. A family member I am currently living with for the first time in 7 years. Now the only reason I am bringing this up is for advice...its not to start shit with him or bash on him.
I forgave him only in October when I was here on leave with Hubby. It took along time since he was not just a random person, he was a person I had to deal with on a daily basis, someone I had lived with and grew up with. So any of you can imagine its a lot harder to deal with then to just have your space and deal with alone.
He was kicked out of my house when he was 14 by the state after he admitted to also admitting molesting my handicapped sister, and was forced to live in multiple group homes. When he was 20 he was being kicked out of his group homes by the state and was pretty much going to be homeless, my mom and dad decided to move him back into their home which did not fly with me at all, I didn't talk to them for about 2 weeks.
When I came here to Utah in October to visit my family, my Hubby and I had been debating if I should move home and decided we should see if leave went well. Though I was never up for living with my brother again, I was running out of options. Leave went very well...my brother had kept his distance from me, and it made me feel a lot more secure to move back home. So the choice was made and as soon as we got back to FR we started packing up our house.
Now we all know I moved home and I have been miserable since I got here...and now absolutely do not have a choice with being pregnant I need to be around family, because there is no guarantee that Hubby will be here when I give birth, I have to stay here.
The way my brother has been acting with me is rude and completely uncalled for. I am finding myself constantly fighting with him and cursing my brains out and the completely idiotic things he says and does. Its hard for me to act like this is a normal relationship when it is anything but normal. I dont have alot of space and Hubby agreed to leave his Xbox with me so I could have it when I need alone time, which now seems like every minute of every day.
I am avoiding any contact with him, but living in this house its not so simple. Today I found myself screaming at the top of my lungs at him while I was trying to get my little sister ready for the day. She didnt have pants on and was fighting me on getting her into the bathroom, he came down the stairs and kinda stared at her and I flipped out! I told him to get the eff away from her and not touch her, as he began to make his smart ass comments at me, I also began firing them back. I stooped to his level.
I am finding myself at a huge loss...I am pretty close to quitting my job since I cannot stand to work around him and also live with him. Its too much too soon and as much as I am trying to make this better for my parents, and have at least a decent relationship with him, I am finding myself having a hard time letting it all go.
I forgave him, and I have delt with my emotions towards what happened. But trauma like this doesn't mean its cured over night, its a long process. I have had PTSD from it and still tend to have nightmares about it all. I am over his issues and hope he is better, but I cannot trust him near me or my sister or even my niece or nephews.
I wish I could move back to FR after the holidays. Honestly I really do. I know I could count on my friends there to be supportive of me and help me with birth if needed, but its not their baby and not their problem to deal with.
Hubby has told me if I need to quit then I should do it. He isnt worried about the money, nothing like that. We wanted me to work to keep myself busy and make time go by faster. But with the stress my brother is putting on me I am not blowing through any time! I am at a complete stand-still waiting for him to get hit by a car so I don't have to deal with him anymore. I know I am awful. This isnt a good situation for me or my baby, but its the only one I have.
I know this is alot to ask but does anyone have any good advice for me? I am stuck.

Good Tidings.

Yesterday I was just having my daily dose of reality tv, when someone rang the door bell. I never answer the door here since its my parents house and I was not expecting anyone anyways. So my Dad answered and stood at the door for a while, when he was done talking he yelled that someone had brought something for me, immediately I assume its probably a surprise gift from my Hubby, but when I turn around its a plate of cookies....alright so maybe something from the neighbors? but just for me?
My dad began to tell me a nice family who saw The Blue Star flag in my window thought they should do something out of the kindness of their hearts since they knew we were missing someone this holiday season. I began to tear up at the kindness someone has just shown us. Especially since 2 days before I had someone yell at me for my husbands sacrifice, telling me how stupid we both we're and we were going to hell for it. It restores my faith that there are people besides the military community who really care about the soldiers sacrificing for us.
I have never really had such an act of kindness given to me and I am grateful for whoever this family is. I am going to make sure I pay it forward. Though I am sad I will never know who this family is, they have given me the greatest gift this holiday season, which is knowing someone out there knows and cares that my husband will be gone for the holidays.

Mailing.

Ok so you all know by now I work for a shipping company. Super Nice. Super Lame. It leaves me to know a ton about the post office and their mailing. Now we all know when your husband is overseas you need to go Postal...haha get it? And I have been seeing alot of people writing posts on how awful the postal service is. So I thought about it and decided that I should do a little post on them. It can be benifical for you, or you can think I am totally a bitch for posting it all.

The postal service you should all know has no way to track anything! Literally. No way! Throw a stamp on it, pay for express mail doesnt matter they dont track anything!

Also nothing is Guaranteed. USPS can guarantee a few things going to certain citys, because company's like FedEx and UPS help lend out their planes to them. But when they tell you its Guaranteed, really they are lying. I hear it all the time. At my work we ship USPS too and constantly get calls saying I need that tracking number or something for USPS...and there is nothing we can do! Yes, they can call the post office whatever, but its the same thing.

Also just because its Flat Rate you might think its so much cheaper...but really UPS has been known to beat USPS prices. Plus with UPS you do get a tracking number and $100 insurance on it automatically.

If you can throw everything into one box! Not multiples. One large box is way less likely to get lost vs a bunch of little ones. Plus it really honestly is cheaper!

Also one big thing when shipping to APO/FPO's is get those flat rate boxes if you need them, saves you money!! But it has to say the APO/FPO on the box!

I hope this helped out alot for some of you having issues with the Post Office.

I am off to watch Disney movies with my little Bubby.

No Name

I had no name for this blog today. I am really hurrying to do it, because I got to leave for work in about.......10 minutes? so I thought I would just share real quick how my doctors appt was.

They confirmed that I am 9 weeks along, which means I am 3 months! I got a bunch of infant formula, and my What to Expect When Your Expecting book, which was pretty cool. They were also very supportive of knowing Hubby is gone and have all lent out support for me as far as delivery and having him be apart of ultra sounds! Which of course made Hubby very very happy!
I am also due on July 20! So I was off by one day. But the due date can change at any time from now until I have my first ultra-sound which wont be for maybe another month. They drew like 5 vials on blood from me, which almost made me pass out!!! I guess I was breathing really funny after the fact.
Anyways Ladies I have got to run! Longer post tomorrow!!

Sugar!!

So this is my first scheduled post. I hate to do it, but today at 9:15 I will be seeing my nurse to get my blood drawn and all of that! Plus the woman you all like to call *The Annoyed Army Wife* will be giving me a much needed massage today, and she should know I am super stoked to be getting it. My back is nice and sore for you! :)
Today was "the busiest shipping day of the year". My fellow co-workers and I looked to see how busy we were last year on this date and it was damn busy. Talking like over $5,000 in shipping! Which in this little town of ours is a lot! But today was NOTHING, though we were super busy we didn't even come close to matching it, which is a huge bummer. But I didn't feel too good anyways so I was glad it wasn't as busy. Lifting and packing and lifting and packing can really wear your arms and shoulders out!
One thing that I am learning is that I can really keep sugar down. Cookies and M&M's (especially pretzel ones) are the things I do not throw up. SCORE! Although I know I need to eat my veggies and fruits and such, I am doing so, I do eat some sugar at night or when I feel a little queeze and it helps A LOT! So thank you my wonderful little child for not making mommy throw up her favorite snacks!
My neighbor brought our family these treats, which they do every year, and they are homemade and so delicious!!!

Yeah...be jealous of my green cookies!

The Weekend Wrap-Up

My weekend was alot better then my week! Sadly Saturday I worked a 10 hour shift, but honestly the last 2 hours were voluntary, even if I got paid for them, I was off the clock and didnt need to be there. It wasnt too bad of day. Of course super busy and lots of explaining but nothing more then the norm.
When I got home from work, I couldnt eat anything...everything looked nasty and nothing seemed to satisfy me. Later I found out why....yepp horrid morning sickness came upon me. Threw up all night and yesterday I threw up all morning and all night. YUCK I know. Hubby thinks its quite hilarious that I am throwing up this much but its really not. If I could burry my head under a rock I totally would.
Other then that I finally got to finish my Hubbys stocking! My grandmother usually does these for her grandkids but we added about 11 new family members through-out my entire extended family so my mother and I helped take some of the work off of her. I chose to do Hubby's entire stocking by myself as much as I could and it turned out really great!!!

  Yes, I did all of that! the stitching and all! I am very proud!

Hubby had some very interesting news for me yesterday. Apperently they had.....HAIL! Word went around and around on FB that everyone was making Iraqi Snowballs/Ice Balls. So when he woke up this morning the Hail had pretty much gone away and so it was now flooded.
I kinda think God was spreading a little Christmas Cheer for them...even if it was Hail.

Happy Thoughts

YES!! I am very grateful that Kelsey over at *Home Is Where The Heart Is* tagged me in this questionnaire. I love to fill them out and it will keep me positive since we all know this week really sucked for me.

1. four shows that you watch: (i watch sooo many, here are just a few)

- Desperate Housewives

- Weeds

- Greys Anatomy

- 16 and Preggo!

2. four things you are passionate about:

- Blogging and Writing.

- Cleaning (sadly)

- Making people smile and laugh.

- My Hubberkins!

3. four phrases you say a lot:

- "oh yeah?"

- "Alright."

- "I love you"

- "Shut Up" (tee-hee)

4. four things you've learned from the past:

- Sometimes you cant even trust your family.

- Make your mistakes worth while.

- Friends Come and Go. 

- Not every memory is a good memory.

5. four places you would like to go:

- Australia

- Italy.

- Germany/Poland

- France

6. four things you did yesterday:

- Worked.

- Talked to Hubby.

- Did the Blogger thing.

- Avoided stupid facebook.

7. four things you are looking forward to:

- My first doctors appt on the 29th.

- Moving back to Fort Riley.

- Hubby coming home!

- Of course my little ones face!!!

8. four things you love about winter:

- How pretty the trees look.

- That I know how to drive in the snow.

- My anniversary.

- Christmas DUH!...Naw actually New Years is WAY Better!

So thanks for reading this guys! This actually really uplifted my spirits today! I am hoping it will last all day!!! Thanks Kelsey for this!! 

For who I am going to TAG is going to be........Lacey!!! Over at Guinn and Bare It cant wait to see your answers girlie!

The Enlistment

I have said it like a million times...my Husband wants to be a lifer in the Army. He is good at his job, he loves his job, he hates deployments but is constantly confident that they will get shorter and that I can handle it. It doesnt bother me too much though it does worry me that our children will resent us for making this choice in the future.
Hubby is planning on re-enlisting in Iraq. He has 2 years left on his contract and wants to add six...but its technically 4, because the Army is downsizing and he wants to guarantee his spot in the army.
So he has been hearing from countless other people that the recruiter over there will not let anyone else re-enlist until they are a year out from getting out of the army. Not good, because they could definitely tell Hubby that he cannot re-enlist when he gets back. So a Sergeant in the Army, technically doing an E-7's job now, 4 years in the service and 2 deployments and they might kick him out? This irritates me. In my opinion my husband honestly works his ass off, he does jobs for higher ranking people and he doesnt get paid to do their job, but he never complains. He is good to his privates, and treats them well, while also teaching them the history of the army, you know like a Sergeant is supposta do!
He wants to be a Recruiter and also wants to be a Basic Training Sergeant. He wants to do so many things and it irritates me that he might not get the chance to do them. I get that the Army is downsizing...I know how flooded it is with people, but its kinda their own damn fault at the same time, they should have had rules set up for things like that. Some people are not in this for the money or the benefits, and these people are going to be kicked out so some person with no wife or kids can stay in, because they have no where else to go. I dont know personally I think something is wrong with this picture.
I saw the look, and heard the sadness in his voice when he told me that he might not get to stay in. He is planning on talking to the recruiter himself to see if he can re-enlist, but it really bothers him that this dream of his might be coming to an end too soon. There is always him entering another branch of the Military, but he is an Army Boy and loves it! I honestly love it too.
Honestly why would I go through this if not to make him happy. I want him to be so happy! His smile takes my breath away. Honestly I love love love! being in love! I love putting a smile on this face!

Until he talks to the recruiter and figures out what we can do, I will be waiting very patiently. I know things will work out the way they are suppose to...even if it means ending his dream before it really begins.

I need a punching bag.

Honestly it would be a good investment. I am frustrated. I am sexually-deprived. I am alone. I am sad. I am furious.
Sometimes I wish it was LEGAL for me to knock the hell out of someone....see the pessimist inside of me coming out? Yepp!
I decided that today is Wednesday DUH and usually there are some posts called Pour Your Heart Out on these days...but I dont have time to wait to link-up or anything so I am just going to do it.I am going to call it my....

I need a damn punching bag!!

Yesterday I posted about my back problems, which I am so glad *The Annoyed Army Wife* offered for me to get a massage by her! Gladly going to take...but incase you read this I don't know your email. I worked from 9-5 and suffered through my back pain through most of the day. After a while though I did need a damn break, so I went to go get my little brother and I took him to run errands since he no longer has his license. After I was done I could tell I could no longer work, so I called my boss and told her I only had a few hours left and needed to go home, which she was fine with. 

I came home and the rest of the day sat on my butt. Naw. I actually only got to sit there for about an hour before I had to go to my Grandmothers and then after that I had to make dinner. So making dinner I suffered through the standing and the cleaning the dishes and everything just so I could sit down and watch the movie I bought that my brothers had already started playing! I finally get to sit down and my parents blue-ray player is messed up. Great.

After the movie, my mother who is also my boss, and I had a talk about me working the next day, we both knew I was in alot of pain, and very much needed the day to lay around and try to let my body rest. My 2 little brothers work for my mom and my one brother didnt have to work the next day, so I asked him to do me a huge favor and his reply was..."No, I was planning on going snowboarding with Marcus tomorrow.".....ok understandable so I knew my brother and I knew I would have to do a little begging, so I did. "I know Little Brother, but this back pain is so unbearable I can barelly walk or bend over at all, I have baby-sat the baby while you and Big Brother went snowboarding like 4 times already, and I need to take the day off so can you do me a favor and help me out here?".............."I really want to go snowboarding"  UGH! fine I gave up. I started crying knowing I couldnt go to work the next day, and my mother told me if it was hurting that bad in the morning that I should just stay home. Thank you!!...

By the end of the night it was getting too hard to get on and off the couch and I decided I should probably sleep on it, since I share a room with my sister right now, my tossing and turning would bother her all night. So I slept on the couch for maybe an hour, when someone ran through the house and turned on the lights, only to go back downstairs........I thought it was probably 5am because thats the time people in this house start to wake up for work. I burry my head in the covers and know that soon they will be gone and I can go back to sleep.............about 45 minutes later there was no movement. Yepp only 11:30. So I shut the lights off and try to fall back asleep. Then someone decides to watch TV.....I finally gave up on trying to get a decent nights sleep and went to my bed.

I woke up at 7:30 this morning to my other little brother whining about a sore throat...I immediately hope my mom has stood up for me and told him to deal with it. So I get up and walk down stairs and he is telling my mother how much he wishes he could work....so I looked at him and said oh please! I cannot bend over and your not going to work because of a sore throat? and he immediately gave me the bird.....which I responded with the real words. I looked at my mother and she just stared at me, like nothing was wrong. I felt dooped...if thats how you even spell it. I now knew I was going to have to work, because its the holiday season and I honestly have the 2 most selfish brothers ever. Which I have very gladly said to their faces many times!!

Ugh looks like I am turning into another Annoyed Army Wife HA HA HA. I do need a punching bag.

Turning Pessimistic.

Its true. I think you all have seen the differences in my posts since Hubby left, I am getting less and less optimistic about it all. The things that will never change are....

• Hubby maybe deployed, maybe missing me being preggo me...but he will be here for the 1st year and for the birth....and thats AWESOME!!
• Working sucks, but its going to really help in the long run with the little one. Especially since I'll be a stay at home mom.

and....I think thats it. Its horrible. I feel less and less like myself everyday. I dont think I am changing too much though....at least I hope not! I know I kinda have to give a little.
I have always had back problems, I get it from my dad...so naturally when I got pregnant I knew there would be back pain...but no joke you guys I never EVER thought it would be this early!!! I am having huge back pains! It hurts constantly and having a job where I am constantly on my feet and lifting things is horrible! I have told my mom (my boss..) that she needs to let up on me and give me more days off, because this week I have one day off, ya the money would be good....but I am more concerned with my baby's health and my health then a freaking paycheck right now. I know that I can take Tylenol, but I really am trying to avoid that as much as I can. I dont feel comfortable with putting lots of medication in my body. Tylenol is my last resort.
As optimistic as I can be about it is that, I want to buy the carseat and my play-pen with my own money, and not Hubbys. He is already planning on helping me buy all the furniture for the nursery, and I know thats alot of money. Plus a few months after he gets home we will be moving, so we already got a few expenses lined up and me having this job will help out so much with alot of things!
I really am going to try to not turn this blog into my pregnant blog. Its hard not to though when I feel completely absorbed into it. I guess alot of it also is me trying to avoid being boring. I am constantly taking mental notes all day thinking of my next blog.
My next blog tomorrow will not be about prego me. Promises....I do want to keep my lovely readers satisfied!

Overall picture

So after my post last night, I wrote Hubby an email and told him when he is off work, I need to talk to him. So he skyped me this morning, even though I threw off him gym schedule, and we talked.....well I talked about it. I cried it out, and let it all out. He told me that if I shouldn't worry so much about it, and I was freaking out over nothing, I could still go do something if I wanted to.He even suggested I go spoil myself all day, get a hotel and then we could skype before he heads to work.
Yes he was right. I told him that all I needed was to talk to him and let it all out, which he is fine with. I let him go to the gym, and told him to write me an email later since I had work.
In his email he put my head on straight and said "Our anniversary is about you and me, not you and your mom...I know your upset but its ok, dont worry about doing anything with anyone, just go treat yourself and we will have a skype date".
So it made me feel like 50,000 x's better!! He is right, its about us and no one else. Though I would love to go out to a nice fancy dinner, he is not here and it wont be the same. I might just get Pizza Hut because I am craving some stuffed crust pizza! Now more then ever I should satisfy these cravings right? :)

Get it all out.

So I feel stupid that I am using this blog as a outlet, but it can be pretty needed! I think all of our MilSpouse's know that sometimes you just need to get it out!!
First let tell you whats on my mind the most right now.
Right now, I am crying...on and off. Pretty much waiting for December to end. Which I don't understand too much because I want to enjoy this month. Its my doctors appts, its Christmas, and its my 1st Wedding Anniversary. It sucks to think that Hubby wont be here but I already knew and already prepared myself for it.
Right now (again with the right now's!) I am very very upset because about a week ago I found out that my family is having a reunion, which we never really have, that falls on December 30th and 31st...well the 30th is my Anniversary. So naturally I was not looking forward to it at all. Most of my mom's side of the family lives here in Utah so they are used to snow and all its crazy weather, but I got about I wanna say 17? that live in Arizona, and they are not used to the weather here at all. So right now all I can do is hope that no one comes up and complains to me about how life sucks in Utah....because believe me alot of things suck in my life right now, and the snow isnt one of them.
Well I was prepared to deal with this minor mis-happ, just because I knew there was the day before and I was so happy I would be able to do at least something! So I started looking at this really nice restaurant in the middle of downtown of Salt Lake City, and my mother said she would go with me....HA little to my surprise I mentioned it to my mom a few hours ago that Hubby told me I should go do it! Its kinda an expensive place so I wanted to make sure he would be fine with me doing something so big. My mother tells me my Aunt has all these plans for her and her siblings the days before, so I told her that because my Aunt was here the first week I moved back, and she blew me off for my Aunt then that I needed her to blow my Aunt off for me. Which I dont want to be rude about it because my Aunt does live in Arizona and thats why I was so understanding when she was here a month ago. But this makes me MAD, my mom knows the day I got married, she has known I wanted to do something special, and she couldnt say something to ANYONE about it. So I spent the last half hour of Desperate Housewives trying not to show my tears, which believe me is really hard when your hormonal, and I just dont know what to do with myself right now. I dont know if I should just go do something alone, or if I should not do anything at all. Honestly I considered boycotting the reunion...but that would show how awesome I am right?
All I have to say is...my husbands deployed, and I am pregnant. Yeah I knew it was a HUGE possibility that I would be pregnant when he was away, and I am completely fine with that. Yes, I chose this life, I knew who my husband was before I married him, or even dated him. But really is there no one who really cares? Because I sure dont feel like they do.

What a Suprise!

So all read on *This* blog I said I had sent one package before that one, and the address was wrong so I assumed he would never get it....well to my surprise he actually got it! So he now has sheets and a pillow and can stop sleeping in a sleeping bag! He was so stoked about getting it. But I have to show you what he exactly got!

BAH HAHAHA! I am the best wife ever!!! By the way...he did get a real pillow case!!
So now Hubby is all excited that he will have another pillow and more sheets just in case!  I just thought it was a cute little gag joke!! 

about freakin time!!!

So right now I am at work and dont have too much time to blog, so I sadly cannot participate in MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. But I thought I would let you all know something....
My husband has been a Promotable status for over a year, he passed the board when he was in Iraq last deployment and we have been very patiently waiting for him to get his Sergeant.
Well a few days ago, Hubby got the word....HE IS FINALLY GETTING IT!!
So today while I was sleeping at 0130 Iraqi time my husband finally got what he deserves!!! I am so so proud of him!!! Congrats hunny you deserve this!!!

Flat Daddies

Today while I was at work, a lady I live by came in and started talking to me about how Hubby was doing...you know all the questions you get...my conversations are usually like this...
When did he leave? almost 3 weeks ago Yikes! So your just getting started? Obviously Yeah..Oh and your pregnant? wow can he come home for the birth? We are hoping so. Awe man that must be so hard. Just as hard as trying not to punch you in the face, thanks for asking.
Anyways! She had started talking to me about Parade magazine had an article on these things called *Flat Daddies*...a huge cardboard cut out of your deployed soldier. Now first when I heard this I entertained her by thinking it was so cool...but really found it kinda lame...especially when our child is the size of a orange seed. I would not need a flat daddy because I can see my babies daddy on Skype.
So a few hours later I decided to look up these things and see what the big fuss was about...apparently my mother had already heard of it and had planned on buying me one....not a clue why but OK. I was looking at all of the kids who have them, and they even had a little girl playing barbies with her daddys cardboard cut out. I found it quite adorable.
I have a family reunion this month...which I just found out falls on my 1st Anniversary....which is exactly how I wanted to spend it....surrounded by peoples kids and people whining about snow. Although I am blowing off everyone the day before because I am going to do something special damn it. So my mom decided she will buy one so we can have Hubby in our family pictures.
I told Hubby on Skype today and the grin on his face was priceless! He is so stoked to become a cut out! who knew!
I'll make sure to show you all when we get it :)

1st Care Package!!

Yesterday I was finally able to send Hubby his care package....though I did send one I think almost 2 weeks ago....HA I am dumb, I knew they would probably change the address but did it anyway and they did change it...Go Me!
So because of the base my hubby is on, literally does not have a PX he needs lots of things, which makes me feel needed! Everything can get sent over by helicopter to get to him, but sometimes it will just be easier for me to do it.
So he needed sheets and pillows which I was happy to buy for him! I bought him bright orange sheets! Probably stupid idea but I figured it would make him original! and since it was so close to the time I would have to send his Christmas and our Anniversary presents I just bought them and sent them too.
Obviously I cannot tell you what he is getting because my dear bubby reads this! BTW love you hunny!!
But I can show you everything he is getting...because its all wrapped up! So prepare hunny your getting alot of things!!

 Lots of little things :)

and all perfectly packed away for him :)