Sunday, December 5, 2010

Get it all out.

So I feel stupid that I am using this blog as a outlet, but it can be pretty needed! I think all of our MilSpouse's know that sometimes you just need to get it out!!
First let tell you whats on my mind the most right now.
Right now, I am crying...on and off. Pretty much waiting for December to end. Which I don't understand too much because I want to enjoy this month. Its my doctors appts, its Christmas, and its my 1st Wedding Anniversary. It sucks to think that Hubby wont be here but I already knew and already prepared myself for it.
Right now (again with the right now's!) I am very very upset because about a week ago I found out that my family is having a reunion, which we never really have, that falls on December 30th and 31st...well the 30th is my Anniversary. So naturally I was not looking forward to it at all. Most of my mom's side of the family lives here in Utah so they are used to snow and all its crazy weather, but I got about I wanna say 17? that live in Arizona, and they are not used to the weather here at all. So right now all I can do is hope that no one comes up and complains to me about how life sucks in Utah....because believe me alot of things suck in my life right now, and the snow isnt one of them.
Well I was prepared to deal with this minor mis-happ, just because I knew there was the day before and I was so happy I would be able to do at least something! So I started looking at this really nice restaurant in the middle of downtown of Salt Lake City, and my mother said she would go with me....HA little to my surprise I mentioned it to my mom a few hours ago that Hubby told me I should go do it! Its kinda an expensive place so I wanted to make sure he would be fine with me doing something so big. My mother tells me my Aunt has all these plans for her and her siblings the days before, so I told her that because my Aunt was here the first week I moved back, and she blew me off for my Aunt then that I needed her to blow my Aunt off for me. Which I dont want to be rude about it because my Aunt does live in Arizona and thats why I was so understanding when she was here a month ago. But this makes me MAD, my mom knows the day I got married, she has known I wanted to do something special, and she couldnt say something to ANYONE about it. So I spent the last half hour of Desperate Housewives trying not to show my tears, which believe me is really hard when your hormonal, and I just dont know what to do with myself right now. I dont know if I should just go do something alone, or if I should not do anything at all. Honestly I considered boycotting the reunion...but that would show how awesome I am right?
All I have to say is...my husbands deployed, and I am pregnant. Yeah I knew it was a HUGE possibility that I would be pregnant when he was away, and I am completely fine with that. Yes, I chose this life, I knew who my husband was before I married him, or even dated him. But really is there no one who really cares? Because I sure dont feel like they do.

4 comments:

Lou said...

Liz, stay strong.Maybe they dont know how to show it. Im sorry that you feel that way, i really think its great your blogging it out. Its good to do. Like i always say im here to rant to. Im a great listener. keep your head up girl, Lace

Committed said...

I'm glad you have a place to vent! Blogging it out is a must at times!

As for your anniversary, I say DO SOMETHING. Do something to honor the conclusion of your first year of marriage, and the start of the second and every day after. Do the fancy meal at the expensive restaurant or by yourself a new outfit that you normally wouldn't indulge on (Ann Taylor Loft is having a great sale on their maternity website - I know you're not that far along yet, but fun all the same!). Do something for you.

And keep venting. We're all here.

<3 BIG HUGS <3

Audrey Spence said...

Wait they are planning stuff the 30th and 31st? Scott and Aaron won't be able to take off work the 30th so that's retarded if they do stuff then. We won't be able to participate. I'm getting a little frustrated with the reunion stuff because nobody has told us what's going on and I just found out my neices and nephew I haven't seen since August will be here for a week starting Christmas eve. So it's like we're trying to plan with them but have no word on the reunion... grrrrr... so frustrating! Sorry things are rough right now. Hormones definitely don't help. So you know I really missed you yesterday. I was hoping to see you at the blessing. So you know I missed you and hope things work out for you to go out to dinner. What restaurant did you wanna go to?

Priscilla said...

My hubby was away our first anniversary, I don't remember what I was doing on that day, but we celebrated when he came home, even though it was months later. It was kinda sad, but we made up for it on our 2nd wedding anniversary by taking a trip!

Keep your head up, it will all work out and be ok!

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