Monday, June 11, 2012

The MIL

Over this weekend I have learned to keep my mouth shut about The Hubs mom. You know why? Because even the slightest mention of comparison between my family and her is cause for a huge fight. All I did was say that I like to talk my my family weekly and he likes to talk to his mom once a month. Huge fight.

I am not a fan of my MIL..if you were to meet her you'd think she was just like a teenager. She dresses inappropriate for her age, she as a ton of energy, and she is in no way settled into her life. She lives with some random dude, who is a huge alcoholic (when we were in Cali he offered us wine at 7 am).

But I know that my MIL does what she has to, to survive. I can't blame her to having that one quality in her that I really like. She does know how to survive.

I wish her and I would have a better relationship. I really thought we would when I married Hubs. I had met her, we got engaged at her house on Christmas Morning. We seemed to get along great...it was until I left California..the Hubs and I suddenly decided to get married in Utah that her and I had a struggling relationship. But nonetheless I still feel like I tried. I called her and got on the phone with her and the hubs, we even flew her to Kansas before Hub's last deployment. That's pretty much when it went down hill...

Because the Hubs was still working she had to spend all day with me, which I don't know why she didn't like that but she would sleep ALL DAY and wake up in time for me to have to go pick up Hubs. Other then that she hardly interacted with me, which I could tell upsetted my husband. He talked to her about waking up and hanging out with me but still she neglected to feel the need to get to know me. So I started going to a friends house after I'd take The Hubs to work, blow off some steam and do something else with myself then sit on the couch and wait and wait for her to wake up...and thats how the rest of her trip went.

Ever since then that's how it stayed. She ignores me and plays with Evelyn and talks to Hubs. Makes fun of my family and how they are Mormons. How we should live in Cali and stop saying we are going to live in Utah, (California is expensive!) and I just sit there and laugh and correct her when she's wrong. I try my best not to humor her.

I have my reasons for not liking my MIL....ok well its not that I dont like her. I just wish I understood her more, but time after time I am faced with her ignoring me (didnt even get a Happy Birthday from her) asking only for more grandbabies and more photos since she doesn't have internet. While I sit here and don't understand her. I love that she is my husbands mother. I love that he loves his mom and wants to protect her as much as he can. She's a great grandmother to Evelyn. But she's never really tried with me and I don't feel the need to try anymore. I tried all last deployment to talk to her and update her as much as I could on my pregnancy but it turned into me calling her to update her on her son and granddaughter to me calling her and her whining to me for 30 minutes about how her life sucks...I was pregnant, living at home with 9 people and a husband in a war zone...I think my life sucked a little more. I really do hope one day her and I can see eye to eye on something, something not between Hubs and Her and I or Evelyn, her and I...just me and her. But until then I just have to keep my lip shut and understand her the way I know how to understand her. Which is exactly as I said in this post.

4 comments:

Mary Mack... said...

I just want to hug you! I understand how frustrating it is having an odd mother in law and how hard it can be!

Chantal said...

I'm sorry it's so rough with her :(

Natalie and Remington said...

I don't get a long with mine either! She is total opposite of me. Look at the bright side though, at least you don't live close to her.

Miss Kay said...

Thankfully, my ex husband's mother and I got along rather well, I am no longer married and her and I still get along. However, My boyfriend's step mother and I that is a whole story in itself. Her and I just don't talk so that nothing gets twisted or anything like that. Hope you and your MIL can get on better terms soon. Keep your head up :). I am your newest follower please feel free to come check out my blog...
Miss Kay's Journey Through Life @ http://misskaybick.blogspot.com/

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