Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I can't help it. I am so beyond anxious. Not only am I going insane trying not to do any house chores, but the days are going by so slow........hurry it up. I have my hubby's last leave before deployment coming up at the end of this week, which we will go to my parents home, since my hubby's mom was just out here a few weeks ago.
But I am not the person who usually sits back and lets it all just come up, I like to do everything NOW. I decided I shouldnt clean my house (except for basic pick up) until Thursday, since Friday I'll be pack up and doing laundry.
Is it at all weird that I am this anxious? I shouldn't be wanting time to go by at all. I guess that weird part of me, wants him to go so we can end it quicker. Get rid of the anticipation. Its way worse then the deployment! I read this quote one day off a fan page on facebook;

The build up is worse than the deployment. Don't waste a second of pre-deployment time worrying or obsessing. You're going through two completely different things and neither of you will ever understand so stop trying. The one thing you do have in common is that you're about to miss the shit out of each other. Obsess over that.

 Though Hubby and I arnt fighting at all, and things have gotten a lot less tense. The build up of the waiting is still there. I know when we are on leave (which to let you know is only a week, and I personally think that's bull****) I wont want to come back, because coming back means him going. Its hard. As you all know who have done a deployment know its hard to wait for that phone call to come around, saying the exact date. 

I have a million plans and ideas to get us through those last final weeks, and take as much of the stress/worry/whatever else, off our shoulders. Big dinners, buying Christmas decorations together, Faux Thanksgiving, Pumpkin Carving party, and he will be eating  everything he wants! I am making sure to fill that boy up! He never complained about the food over there, but I know how much he loves my food! Plus cooking for one is going to be super lame!

I know I am not an expert, but if any of you are going through what I am going through, my advice is to try to push that deployment out of your head as much as you can. I really only talk to Hubby about the deployment for only a few minutes or when its needed. It takes so much stress off of him, since at work all he gets is the learning and training, and I shouldn't be the one giving him extra stress about it.  They need a break from hearing about it too. Do your best to help him and believe me it will help you to not have to constantly feel like its right around the corner. The last thing you want is for him to leave and realize you wasted that time, crying and whining. I am just anxious to have him come home to me. I cannot wait for this to be over, but if your hubby is a lifer like mine, you know there will always be another one. Don't look back on this time and know you wasted it. These last precious moments are key to make it through.


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