Wednesday, June 22, 2011

An Update?

Since I blog regularly technically this isnt an update its more of a...a bunch of stuff happened and I blogged about it but never gave an end result type of blog. One of the BIGGEST things is the BIG thing I am going to tell you.

Remember my brother? My abuser? How he went to jail? Well if you dont remember I suggest you read these two posts before continuting... #1  &  #2

So my parents have let him sit in jail and have not gone to see him, though I was still on edge because of how much lack of cotact they were having with him, I had no idea what was going on, and when you have PTSD and your abuser is still around you want to know where they are at all times...well at least I do. Well yesterday we got some news.....

My brother has no been sentanced to 1-15 years in prison for Sexual Explotation of a Minor. One thing that hit me as soon as my mother found out was he'll actually get therapy! I know alot of people think convicts should not recive treatments, but believe me, because this is not a life sentance you want this boy to get help. I do want him to one day get better. Our relationship has failed on every level and he knows it, and even though I have forgiven him for what he has done to me, my sister, and my family...he never could really let what happened go...because to him I was the bad guy. I turned him in, I made sure he was prosecuted, and I made sure to protect my sister and inform people around me what happened so they could protect themselves. Sadly this is one case where turning in your abuser does not solve their problems.

I know deep down that he had been abused before my family adopted him. That his birth mother would leave him alone and constantly bring random men into her home. I know that has to be tramazing for him...yes you could say I feel a little pitty for him. But given that he has been in my family since he was 5, he knows that those thoughts are bad, and wrong. He should have came to someone and said he was having these thoughts. Otherwise, we'd be in a different situation. But because he has acted on those thoughts and has a huge addiction to pornography (which I hate to all ends of the earth) he has now 50 million problems stacked ontop of eachother.

My brother has problems. I know he does. I want him to get help, but I cannot help him anymore and my whole family knows we cant help him either. Prison is the best place he can be. Its structured and secure and he will get the help he desperatly needs. I know my life will go on and I will eventually stop thinking about him every day...and who knows maybe one day my nightmares will stop. But he is still my brother and I do want him to get help. I can only hope there are no more victims and no more issues with him...but who's to say...this is all in his hands now and I accept that.


FemminaDaVinci said...

I hope this brings you some sort of closure and inner peace. I know from personal experiences how hard it is to let something like that go.

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