I got The Answers!

I thought I would only get a few questions and I was right, only 2 people asked me questions but they are very good ones!!
Lacey at *Guinn and Bare It* is one of my favorite bloggers! So I was really excited for her question which was...
Share some baby name ideas you have, and were they picked out when I was a kid?

 Hubby really has always wanted to name a boy after him so it would be: Paul Matthew ______ Jr.
which is fine with me. We decided that we would just call him Junior for short. I am not a fan of too many Matthews but maybe I will change my mind.
My girls name is super special to me, and I didnt even know I was going to pick this girl name until I found out I was pregnant. We originally had Marilyn picked out for our girls name, but a few hours I asked my tummy...Are You a Paul or a Marilyn?......right then I was like WRONG! I love the name Marilyn but it just seemed really bad! Hubby ended up agreeing with me. So for the next few weeks we went through a few names and narrowed it down to McKenzi and Emily. The middle name was sticking as Suzanne, because of my sister who passed away. After talking about it with my mom, I remembered my Great-Grandmother who I knew was named Emily, and I just kept thinking about it and realized.....its Emily! So if the baby is a girl she'll be names Emily Suzanne.

My second question was from Commited, over at *Commited to a Solider* who asked me 
What would my life be like if I didnt marry into the military? and what other goals do I have?

Well I wouldn't have met my husband with out the military, so my life would be a drastic change! I actually had always kinda known the military would be in my life, I dated a boy in the Air Force, and a guy in the Army before, but they both never worked out. So I would have actually joined the Army. Crazy to think about that now! But I honestly couldn't tell you what would of happened between Hubby and I, as far as meeting each other.
The other goals I have are really simple, I plan to visit every state! I would love to do it! Its such an adventure, and right now my biggest goal is trying to prepare to be a good mom. I have always wanted to travel the world, and it seems as if I married into the right profession because we can do that. Which makes me very happy, and I am being very patient about it.
So far the states I have been to are....Utah, Nevada, Idaho, Montana, California, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Hawaii, Texas, and Maine!

ASK ME ANYTHING

So I know I didnt tell most of you but I actually started working 2 weeks ago. Its been really nice to be back at work, and is a HUGE escape away from my home, which as you all know sucks right now. I work in the shipping industry....GAG. No worries though not for the post office.
I have really enjoyed feeling like I contribute a lot more then just sitting around. I have no one to take care of right now, besides myself and although after the baby comes I will not be working again, right now I feel like I am doing my part. I am planning on buying the carseat and play pen with my own money, and when I get back to Fort Riley and Hubby is home we will go buy the furniture together. I think he should have a part in some of these things.
Working does make my days go by a lot faster, since I have never wanted to go to College...it never interested me, and I guess I am old fashioned, I wanted to stay home with my kids and raise them myself and always have dinner ready for Hubby when he gets home....or at least started. I dont find it degrading by any means. My mom stayed home with me and my little brother and we both have a really close relationship with her now.
Anyways....I am realizing my life is getting really boring! and so it makes it hard to blog because I am working or sitting at home now a days. I thought maybe I would see if anyone has questions for me...I realize I don't have too many followers but one goal I had in starting this blog is that I would try to be as personal with my readers as I could.
All you got to do, is just leave me a comment under this blog post and I will answer it tomorrow night. I hope I get a few but if not its ok. I hope everyone has a fabulous Tuesday!

[none]

So this is obviously the 2nd post of the day...but I feel the need to blog it all out again. I think writing is my therapy because it sure feels good to stomp out all my feelings on the keyboard....but I am not really pounding on the keyboard I know that, that is bad for the laptop. AHHH.
I love music a lot, I get it from my daddy, we both can listen to music for hours and never get bored...so you can imagine that right now I actually got my music going. Its drowning out the sounds of the 9 family members in my family, leaving me here to concentrate on what I want and what I need.
I have been debating back and forth on moving back to Fort Riley, because I am super stressed here, and its not very easy being here with so many people. It would be so easy to do, if I didn't have a little person inside of me growing. I guess I kicked into full mommy mode because I would absolutely love to just leave after the holidays and go back to spending time with other Army Wives, who's husbands are with mine. I have one army wife friend here, and sadly we have not been able to hang out yet because of conflicting work schedules. But anyways back to my point, I have to constantly be thinking about whats best for my baby, and honestly I have never had to do anything like this! I am so excited to be a mother, although I admit I am absolutely terrified about the birth!
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I miss my own space. I know the money we will be saving is great especially for the baby to get nice new things. I just wonder if this is worth it. I wont be living in my own area for about 4 or even 5 more months, and right now I need my own damn space. I hate that its totally a possibility I will bring a baby into the world, bring the baby home and have to share a room with my little sister still.
The option to moving back to Fort Riley is there for me. I know my husband wants me to stay here to be near family, but I can tell you...I have had 4 other wives tell me to come back because they will be there for me, in the delivery room if Hubby isnt here. I have the FRG who has already reached out to help me.
I love my family I do. But I really don't think being back here is right now for me, or for my baby especially if I am this stressed out.
I know this is just another bitch session post...but I need help. I have no idea what I need to do. Any Suggestions?

T-Shirt freak.

So I am a bit of a weirdo when it comes to supporting my husband, I am constantly looking at things to buy to show how proud I am of him, and more things to show that I am indeed a milspouse and to not mess with me ;)
I ordered a few shirts a few weeks ago because I didn't have any regular t-shirts that just said Army Wife on them, I know a lot of people think its clique or whatever but I don't really care, I think its fun to wear them and show my pride!
Hubby has always thought it was cute that I wear them, though I don't wear them when he is in his uniform because it looks goofy to me. I found some really cute baby ones and maternity ones I want to buy later on. I really especially like one that says "Daddy's Gift To Mommy Before Deployment" which is obviously so true!
I get my t-shirts from CAFE PRESS and when I received my shirts they looked amazing! They don't look tacky or look like the design will peel or stretch out! Which matters to me a lot because I had huge tata's and hate when my t-shirt designs stretch out!
Another thing I wanted to show you guys was what I threw in with my Christmas cards, since I didnt know I was pregnant when I ordered them I threw in a little card to announce to everyone that we are!

Today. Was. Sweet.

I got to do some chopping :)
I got to talk to my hubberkins.
Who is now at his final destination in Iraq
and absolutely loved his helicopter ride to it.
I got to talk to my sweet sweet nephew living in Sweden.
My Niece and Nephew got to come up for the weekend.

Gave my cute little nephew a Mohawk...never done a baby one before.
Which then later his mom cut his hair.
Made my own creme of mushroom soup for my green bean cassarole..
which sadly I couldn't eat.
Also made deserts....
But baby had other plans and all I tasted was metal.
Hoping I can stay up past 10pm
It's been a while since I have seen that old friend.
I miss you.

Thankful for You

I had to write a quick post before my dad needs me in the kitchen....looking forward to cutting some things up! I miss chopping :(
Anyways so this is now Hubbys and Mines 2nd Thanksgiving apart, we were lucky to spend it together last year.
I wanted to write a post on how very thankful I am for him and his sacrifice he is making....and yes you can imagine I will bawl through this whole thing.....I blame the hormones.

Hubberkins,
You might never get to see how I rant about what a wonderful person you are. How I tell countless people that your my hero, or how badly I miss you at night, but I always remember how many people are thankful for what you are doing for this country, and how thankful I am to have met you.
Time apart is hard. Time apart we know makes us stronger. 
I am so so happy I married you, and I am so so happy that your the one I choose to have a family with. Your my dream boat....cheesy huh! Your smile makes me smile because I know your so happy! 
I love hearing about you talk about the baby, it feels like your here with me. Your the best thing thats ever happened to me. I know our little one will be so proud of you!!
Your sacrifice is huge, and the fact that you love doing what you do makes me even more proud of you! I could not imagine being more proud of you then I am right now! I know it can be a struggle and I know its hard, but I will always be right here waiting for you. 
I am the most thankful for you. You pick me up when I am down, you rub my head when I am sick, you cuddle me just when I need it, you would do anything to make me happy and I am so so grateful for you. 
I love you very very much!! Happy Thanksgiving Darling!
Love, Yammie Pie 

HELP

SOS PLEASE SOME ONE HELP ME ITS NOT HEALTHY FOR ME TO FEEL THIS WAY --RHIANNA

Ya I did just quote Rhianna's song. I need help litterally send out the SOS's and find sticks to spell out HELP in the sand, shoot some flares in the air....SOMETHING because I am stuck!

My 1st married anniversery is December 30th, and I just got an email from my FRG saying that we need to send out our Christmas packages by the 5th. So because it is so damn close to Christmas I was going to just send it all together. But was not prepared to think about sending it that early.

Last deployment I sent it early anyways since I did the 12 days of Christmas, yes it was cute but man was it expensive! So now I am thinking about what to get him for christmas and the anniversery before I was ready...I have absoutly no idea what to get him for our anniversery!!!

I know I shouldnt feel awful, but I do. What can I get him? there is like nothing that I can think of that he wont have to bring back with him. Little keepsakes to wear sounded cute but I know he cannot wear them...LAME. I need ideas. I am stuck.

Sending out this SOS....anyone gonna hear it?

2 Wording-less Wednesdays

:)

 Yeah....storm of the century..

SNOW ME IN!

If you havent heard yet, there is a giant ass snow storm heading into the Wasatch mountains, or a huge blizzard...or to alot of people the end of all man kind as we know it.
No joke they have it all over the news how nuts people are going to buy food...just in case. I thought black friday was horrid.
First I should show you what it looked like today...because I do live in a valley, so snow really sucks in my town...and yes I took this today because I am the bee's knees.

Very pretty. I gotta say Utah is very pretty in the winter. Sorry that I took this while driving, just too pretty to pass up.
And now My front yard looks like this.....

Looks pretty.....but deadly...this is about to get 10x's worse.
But I am not freaking out, though I would love to be snowed in with a hot ass soldier...sadly I might be snowed in with my family, but snow me in....I dont care, no work for me! :)

Interview!

You all should go check out KELSEY'S BLOG where she did an interview on me. It was really fun and shes one of my favorite bloggers! I enjoyed it alot. I am pretty sure I was her first Army Wife interview...but I could be wrong.
Other then that today was supposta be my first day back at work.....but am I there? Nope. My mother is going to be my boss, and my sister-in-law had to work, my mother had to work, my brother had to work, and so did my dad....so who was baby sitting the baby?? No one. So who got to baby-sit? Me. No joke you guys I have been thrown into unofficial baby-sitter, doesn't matter because I am happy to get in some practice before my little one comes. I also finally got to skype with my hunny, I missed his face! We dorked around like we always do. I am very lucky to have such a dork! Anyways. I dont have much to report so I'll let you guys enjoy your manic monday.

Good Ol Fashioned B*tch Session

 I apologize for this, but its very well needed.

So I have been at home for almost a week....I havent enjoyed it as much as I thought I would. I really miss having my own space, and being able to watch whatever I want on TV, as well as cooking my own meals.
Right now I am living with my 2 parents, 3 Brothers, 1 Sister, 1 Sister-in-Law, and 1 Nephew so plus me that makes 9 people living in a 5 bedroom home with 2 1/2 bath. My parents house is a larger house...not a mansion by any means but we arn't all living in cupboards, and I knew the situation before hand that it was gonna be a little cramped...but freakin A!!
My little mini laptop is not hooked up to the wireless internet right now because its got so much crap on it, that Hubby gave me before he deployed, that I can't do anything with it...so it leaves 2 laptops up in the house available for use..which always seem to be in one of my brothers hands, because if one is dying he needs the other one. So when I am lucky I am not stuck writting my emails on my blackberry, I learn to take full advantage of it...honestly 1st of January could not come fast enough for me to get my own bigger and nicer laptop. I need it!!
I got another brother...who I am not even a big fan of, I didn't talk to him or see him for about 6 years at one point, anyways! He knows I am hormonal, he knows he is the black sheep of the family (not just me who thinks that) and although I try to give him a break, because he does get picked on a lot, he seems to really want to make his mark in the family on the wrong person....and I am the wrong person. This brother and I have a really bad past, and for him to pick on me is so not ok! I am already hormonal, and my husbands deployed so I am really the wrong person to mess with. So when he gets after me which is....at least 4+ times daily he is getting me back firing with you guessed it.....FIRE! plus my family backing me up and telling him to leave me alone really works.
I really miss living on my own...I know this is the right thing so I am not alone, especially when I am knocked up with a Hubby deployed, plus we will be saving lots more, which we now really need. Its better for me to stay....but let me just say......I cannot wait to move into my Grandmothers home in February so I can have my own damn room!
Grateful for all that I have, honestly. But Honestly wanting to go back to FR. Thats all for my bitch session. :)

Walking In A Freakin' Wonderland

I love Utah...honestly its not as bad as everyone thinks it is...its not some black hole in the USA, its not filled with crazy people...its actually very beautiful, alot of people I have met over at FR have told me that they have drove through it and loved it. I honestly sometimes cannot stand it here...but its usually because I grew up here and I honestly live "Where Everybody Knows Your Name"...never was a big Cheers fan.

Well anyways, today I woke up to this.....

Beautiful and amazing!! But not looking forward to when this wears off and becomes a pain in the ass.

weekend over.....?

So my weekend got an early start...so it had to end early.....damn it.

It started really good with going to a concert called Trans-Siberian Orchestra...which if you haven't heard of them...you are missing out! They do Rock N' Roll Christmas music and their show is absolutely amazing! This was my 4th year in a row going, which next year I obviously wont be able to go, but all things must come to an end....at some point. I really enjoyed the concert alot, I was way worried someone would be a jerk and hit me by accident...see very protective already, but once I let go and had fun it was a blast! Though I did have to get up and get food...because thats one of my joys of pregnancy if you dont eat your gonna puke or gag till you do.
If you have never heard them click HERE and you can watch a youtube video on them...I did take a few videos at the concerts but I am really lazy and dont feel like uploading them right now...but let me know if you want to see them.
On Friday I was so stoked because you guessed it!!!! HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1, came to me and said "I have a dream...that you will love that you read these books, and know the damn ending"  because honestly, I loved the movie...but if you did not read the books, your gonna want to!!
I love Harry Potter, so sad that this is coming to an ending..but I cannot wait for my little one to watch it with me!

Hubby is still not at his destination yet...though he is pretty anxious. He has sent me a few questions a day in emails about the baby, pretty basic questions...but one shocked me the most...
Do I have to change diapers???
Of course I wrote back DUH!! Its so cute to see him all excited and I am pretty ready for R&R to be here so I can finally have him!! I am only 1 week in and ready for him to be home. I miss him like crazy...honestly it makes me wonder if he should re-enlist, but I keep reminding myself he is happy with his job, he is happy to support me, he loves what he is doing, and a year is not that long. But I am hella hormonal, my tata's are killing and if I could drink a lake I would! and I know those are contributing to these feelings.

Heres some pictures of the concert, and like I said if you want to see the videos I did let me know and I'll be happy to upload them. Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend!!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

YAY its Friday!! So go over to Wife of a Salior and link up!!

1. If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs – such as food and water – were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you?
Oviouslly my husband, can't go anywhere without him! and I would need my ipod. I love music.

2. If you were a salad, what kind of dressing would you have?
Ranch, because its classic and the only one I like.

3. If you had to live on a ranch, what kind of animals would you raise/own?
Horses!! I love them!

4. If your life was was portrayed as a movie, who would you choose to play you and your significant other?
for me honestly I have not one idea!! I dont know of any actresses that resemble me or even have a personallity like me. For my husband....Leo Dicario...I love his eyes just like my hubbys!!

5. What was the last thing you put a stamp on (envelope, duh, but what was in the envelope)?
Probably a Bill....nothing new :)

PLEASED!

You all know a few weeks ago I did the Shutterfly post for 50 free Christmas Cards! Well I recived them a few days ago and look how amazing they look!!

The quality is amazing!! I was worried because of the baby but I am gonna throw a little thing in the envelope that says we are expecting.
Gotta go now I am baby sitting my nephew! He's tired!! lol.

What am I Thankful for?

Well right now I am very thankful that Hubby and I can conceive on our own. I had a cousin who couldn't and for 12 years did everything she could to get pregnant, ended up doing invetro, I think twice and finally had a baby after 3 miscarriages.
It makes me really grateful that even if things dont work out with this pregnancy that we can try again, and if it works out this time we will at least have one child to call our own. I am also very happy that we didnt end up with kids from someone else, I have seen what my ex sister-in-law is doing to my brother and my nephew, since she dragged him across the country to Maine for a year and then moved to Sweden with him, and I am just so glad we wont have to put up with that! Those things alone make me so thankful for.

For everything else, right now its 6:40 am, and I woke up around 5:15 because I felt really thirsty...something I am assuming the baby needs because I am needing a drink almost every half hour. So I wake up and walk around in the dark and start feeling sick....yepp, SICK! I havent thrown up yet, and I know its coming because I do feel the sickness a little bit, just not enough to make me throw up right now.
Hubby wrote me on my FB wall and told me what he needed, which was pretty basic. Sheets, Pillows, Toiletries...which surprised me he didnt just say bathroom things. I didnt plan on sending him anything for a while, since I wanted to get the books he wanted in the mail and then send him his Christmas package, which I still have no idea what to get him!, but looks like I'll be making a run to the store and post office.
I turned my FB alerts off on my phone, which is smart since now I am not constantly checking it, and not being interrupted in the middle of the night...by some pointless crap!
I have not posted on my FB that I am pregnant...I think a little bit of me is pissed at the 3 family members who already posted it as their status's, so then naturally I have alot of just friends I went to High School with asking me if I am....so I dont answer, because honestly its none of their business! I had to tell my blog readers though because I love the support you all give me!! Right now I am enjoying not telling alot of people...because I have not seen the doctor yet, I dont have to answer questions I dont know. Right now the people who need to know, know and thats just fine with me. I dont want to get overly excited because I know the risks and I dont want to have to explain myself to 500 people if something does happen....not that I would anyways!
Ok everyone so I leave you with this............

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
-- Oprah Winfrey

07-19-2011

So some of you might be wondering what this blog title means.... well I'm going to tell you in a little bit...

I am back in what most people call this state as "where the mormons live" aka "Zion" aka Utah. Nope not harpen on mormons I was raised one. But I am here and getting back to being used to the mountains.

I don't start my old job again till next week, which makes me pretty happy, because I have so much to do!! No joke either...wrestling with TriCare sucks! I have been on the phone with them at least 5 times today..and hopefully I filled out the paper work correctly...if not...prepare for another blasting blog about how life sucks.

Hubby called me last night and we got to talk for about 20 minutes which made me pretty happy, I needed his phone call after all that driving and stressing. I looked at his picture today and just thought about how hot my hubberkins is! I miss his face and his laugh alot. Cant wait for him to get to his final destination so I can skype with him. Right now he is on lock down because he is being moved to another part of Iraq to do more training. He gets to ride a helicopter to his final destination and its so cute to hear him talk about how excited he is to ride it!
He did have to make changes to his R&R plans because I am......

I have had a feeling for about a week before Hubby left and I told him I thought we should buy a test and see, but he didn't want me to be disappointed once again and then also have him be deploying...which he was right....but so wrong! I woke up at 4 am the day after Hubby left and took the test....yeah I couldn't fall back asleep, I ran out of the room so I would be surprised by the results (which by the way was better seeing it in words then a little plus sign because I KNEW!). I prepared for the negative but just had that feeling...went back into the bathroom and tried to not look directly at it and see if there was 2 words or one....well there was only one word...I did a double take and saw the little words Pregnant. I immediately jumped for joy and said out loud "I'm Gonna Be A Mommy!!".
After a few minutes every fear set inside me. I didnt want to tell anyone tell I could talk to Hubby but knowing it could be a long time, I decided I should call my mom and let out my irrational fears. She told me to go buy another one (because the second test didnt work) and so I did. I took them both again and ran away from the test..then I saw the little words Pregnant again! I knew right then it wasn't a faulty test or a false positive. We decided not to tell anyone (but she did tell my dad...my mom cant keep a secret), and I waited for Hubby to call me, which I was lucky I didn't have to wait more then about 20 hours...which was killing me not to talk about!
He called me in a little bit of shock, he was supposta call me first, and I did email him the picture of the positive pregnancy tests, and he checked his email before calling me! So when I said "I have some news for you!!" he just said "yeah I know.................uhhh so now what?" It was pretty cute to me to hear how shocked he was. He really did not believe I was pregnant before he left. But the next call he told me how he went around and told EVERYONE that I was pregnant and that his shit works LOL! I talked to him last night and we decided we hate our girls name that we picked out before which was Marilyn, I still like the name it just doesnt feel right anymore. So I am just looking and looking.
I am trying to be excited but excited with caution, I know the first few weeks can be pretty risky and your chance at miscarrying is much higher. I did already buy Hubby 2 books so he can read up on whats going on in my tummy. I bought myself a 40 Week Calender and I need to buy my What to Expect When Your Expecting...which by the way I had no idea they had a daddys version of it called What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding. I am going too fast I think...but honestly its hard not to be excited.
I bought my prenatal vitamins, kicked my soda habit, started drinking vitamin waters, taking DHA, and eating a lot healthier.
I did a few due date calculaters to see what my due date would be and you guessed it!! They all said....

July 19, 2011

I know its not 100% offical but it means I will have a July baby to me and that makes me really excited! (right now) its due exactly 2 months after I turn 22. 

I am still working on getting TriWest to get their butts in gear and I know I wont see a doctor for a few weeks but I am just so excited!!! I hope everything goes well, I already love this baby so much and cannot wait to meet him or her! 

I started writing a journal for Hubby to read while I am pregnant...I am also buying a Flip camera to record my doctors visits for him!  I have not felt sick too much...just a little nausea here and there, so I can tell its coming. I have noticed I am very loosed lipped right now and just kinda let it all go, I can blame it on the hormones right? 

We made a beautiful baby together!!

So happy it was with him!!

  If anyone has advice for me GIVE IT! I need all that I can get!

Made It

I made it to the promise land........and now I want to go back.
This deployment feels about 50x's more real. Not only that I went from living in my own home, to living in a room with my sister...at least for a few months then I am moving into my grandmothers.
I had a huge issue with my friend driving my car...not only did she put her life at risk with speeding through a rain/snow/wind storm through Wyoming, she risked mine and MY cars! I finally got her to her own home and took off to see my mom at work, where I was greeted with my co-workers! I have a job again.....weird.
I came home to my 2 brothers unwilling to help me move anything into my house. I cannot lift heavy things right now and so I was a little irriated and used some slurred words. I took my suitecase and backpacks up stairs and completly broke down! I bawled my eyes out and just needed my husband.
It really has been a huge shock for me, and I kinda wish I had stayed but there is no point in doing that now. Fort Riley is too far away! (yes we were stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas) and the weather sucks!!! At least this way we will be saving some money up. Because we will need it!!
I feel completly into this deployment and I am not liking it. I forgot what it felt like to miss a phone call...or two. Its just a little weird...I know we all get used to it and life moves on, but I am still waiting for that.
My friend took a picture of Hubby and I right before he left and I thought I would show it to you all...I am really missing his face so much.....
Anyone got any advice for me as far as living at home and starting my first married deployment?

quick post!!

My hubby called me yesterday! I was super excited to talk to him! We had something we needed to talk about so I was very VERY happy he got to call me. He is not at his final destination yet, but will be in a few days.
As for me I am headed back to Utah tomorrow! I gotta do a few things before I take off, because a few amazing things have come up! But I'll tell you all that another day. I am on my phone trying to do this, so yes go me!
I miss blogging and so cannot wait to get settled back home and get back to you all.
Until then....happy blogging!!! <3

It Has Begun...

Today was the day. Hubby and I had to say our final goodbyes at 0930.

At about 4:30 Hubby and I woke up and layed in bed for about 30 more minutes just cuddling when we realized we needed to get up and get him ready and put some food in his stomach. We showered, double checked everything, and headed out the door. The whole time I was in a very numb state.
We get to the battery and it all starts to sink in. He gets his weapon, we load up his bags and we go to the training room and try to laugh and take some of the edge off. We took a few pictures and then he was called to get on the bus to take him to the motor pool.
I get in my friends car and I am desperatly looking for him when we arrive at the motor pool. We know there is only a few moments left.
I finally find him and the rest of the time we are together talking about R&R, babies, and things we will be doing to keep our sparks flying. I hold on to him, and we start swaying and singing "I'm Leaving On A Jetplane Dont Know When I'll Be Back Again" and then you hear those words...."Its Time for Your Final Goodbyes".....I wrap my arms around him, and kiss him and start crying. I tell him for the 50th time in the day how much I love him, and then he walks me to the door of the motorpool kisses me one more time and he tells me how much he loves me, and we will be just fine. As I turn my back with my friend we both burst into tears. It happened.
The 2nd deployment has started.
Right now I am pretty numb...I really wish I was alot farther in the deployment already. But I know it will be over before I know it. I can't wait to get my phone call or get to skype him! I am so proud of him!!!!
I love you so much Baby and I know you will be reading this, so just know I am always here, I will always be right here waiting for you. Your amazing. Keep your head high.
Heres a few photos from our last week and the day of the deployment, it has descriptions below it. I am only on my 8" screen and so I wont be blogging too much. I am picking up a friend tomorrow from the airport and then I am hoping I getting a phone call on Sunday or Monday. But I will be back in Utah on Tuesday so I will tell you all then. Until then I leave you with this....

Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

 This was our last big date night at Red Lobster

 The cake I baked him!! it was a suprise!!

 Our very last picture together. <3

Happy early Veterans Day!

Ok Everyone, I said I would get on here but I checked out the blogs I read...for just a minute and saw someone post a thing on Veterans Day....well MAN! Tomorrow I wont be blogging so I thought I would just write it up!
I am very lucky to have 2 veterans in my family!! So I would like to honor them on my own blog. 

Retired Corporal Grandpa

and

Specialist Promotable Hubby!

 

My Grand father is an amazing quirky man! He was Driver in the Army in a vehicle called a Half Track, he was drafted in the US Army during the Korean War, a few months before he married our Grandmother and about 3 months after they got married he was shipped off to basic. He was gone about 3 years, where he did get stationed in Fort Hood, TX, and Germany. When he was in Germany, Grandma could not go with him, and so she stayed living with her mom. When he was there we went to Paris, France and Italy. He never had to go to Korea, and he is very glad he didnt. Grandma has said that she had to constantly wait for letters. She said in the 3 years he was gone she only got 1 phone call. Now thats an Army Wife! Her story kinda sounds a little familiar to me... :)

Hubby has been enlisted in the US Army for 4 years and counting. He is a 13-Delta in Field Artillery. He has been promotable for over a year...which that means he can earn his Sergent or his Corporal at anytime. But because of his MOS (military operations specialty)  points are so high its been alot harder for him to reach them. He has served in the Iraq war for a 12 month tour on Operation Iraqi Freedom and is about to deploy back to Iraq on Operation New Dawn for another 12-15 month tour. Hubby is a lifer in the US Army, we will be in for at least 16 more years. Hubby did his basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina and did his AIT Training at Fort Sill, Oklahoma where he then got stationed at FR. 2 years later...he met me. 

I know alot of soliders and I am very thankful for all those who serve. I appreciate the wives as well who take care of their children at home while he is off fighting for our countries rights. I believe they are veterans as well. I appreciate everything the Military has given to us, and I am looking forward to meeting more Military Spouses. I love you all and God Bless America!

On My Mind Wednesday...

So before I throw myself into packing my husbands life into boxes...which I am sure I will bawl the entire time. Oh by the way, he wore my battalion t-shirt yesterday to work (which he is only working like 4ish hours right now) and he came home and gave it to me and asked me if it smells like him...I was so stoked!! Smelled exactly like him! I have giant ta-ta's so I am not really allowed to wear a few specific t-shirts while he is away, since they will stretch, but I am going to steal a few from him. I dont care lol I'll buy him a new shirt. I need a few reminders of his smell! YUMMY PHEROMONES!
Back to my little story...I had to post a few things saying whats on my mind...tomorrow I will not be blogging and probably wont Friday either. So heres whats on my mind...

I am excited to finally see some Mountains and Snow again... 
because looking at this.....

everyday is so boring!!! I love the mountains!! 

But I am also anxious because I want to know if 
I will have one of these soon....

 Until then, I am focused on my Hubby. 

I can't help but love his face! :)

Have a happy Wednesday
I'll make sure to blog when I get the chance.

Lots of Love to you all! 

I am very thankful for the support you all have given me!!

Why So Complicated?!?!

I had a full day ahead of me, I woke up at 5:50 (UGH!!) to take Hubby to work since I had my doctors appt. on my back, which I still don't know anything since I can't make another appt. but I got awesome pain patches!!
Anyways....I leave post headed to my house, when I finally arrive I realized ohhhh right I was supposta go to the housing office....LAME. So 20 minute drive again....oh the gate I need to go through is closed....inconvenience. I get to the housing office, apparently when your husbands deploying they are 10x's easier to work with then when he's not. Lamer.
Yesterday Hubby and I had a talk with our landlord and told him we needed him to look at the house before Friday, because I am leaving for UT early Monday morning. All I got was a NO. I have to wait till he is at the office on Monday, and not only that BUT I have to go though Wyoming that has horrid winds during the winter, which also means...loose snow blowing around everywhere. Thank you landlord for making me drive through that at 5/6ish at night in the middle of winter. If I hit a patch of ice, I swear I will be putting a hit mark on him.
So I never realized moving and deployments were so damn complicated! Why does life do this now?! I know its not all for me, I know there is not a God somewhere playing games on me. But seriously why can't everything go smooth, why does there always have to be an inconvenience...its so small until its in my way.
This is one thing I cannot be optimistic about. Life needs to just go smooth...until Tuesday and then do whatever you want to me!

I am Liz.

I have realized I have not posted anything on who I am! I have seen a few bloggers doing it lately and I just thought, damn I should do that. I have 39 followers! Which is amazing I never thought my blog would take off like this in 1 month! So thank you all for reading and commenting on my posts. I do read everyones comments and I am trying to follow everyone, but as most of you can tell right now is super busy!!

I am Liz.

I am Liz. Obviously. I grew up in a small(ish) town outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. I am 21 years young(ish). I conciser myself older and not super young because believe it or not I have had alot of challenges in my very few years.

I lost my beautiful older sister 10 years ago on May 14, 2000. She passed away in my home and she was 20 years young, she was 9 years older then me. She had an enlarged heart, that was mainly caused my alcoholism and her being over weight. I constantly look at ways to make her happy, and there is honestly not one day that goes by that I dont think about her. Its hard being the first sibling to out live her, but I try to do so many things she would want to do in her life and do them for her. 

*Suzy and I back in 1993

I have had depression since I was probably in 3rd grade, I have always struggled with my weight, and my looks. I have gone through sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse through my high school years, it has taken me a long time to deal and heal but I can finally say I am happy with where I am at in my life. I am a strong woman who wants more for my spawns when they come along. 

I am the middle child out of 6 kids. I got my older brother Trav, and he just moved back from living in Maine for 2 years, he has 2 little boys and 3 step-kids that I adore! Suz, who I have just described passed away 10 years ago, then after me is my brother AJ, who is currently joining the US Army and is adopted but honestly you cannot tell, Guy...yes thats his name, its after my Great-Grandfather, and he is currently trying to put his life together but he is my little brother and I believe in him so much!!, and finally my baby sister Alisha who is also adopted and is mentally and physically handicapped, shes 15 and shes a freshmen in high school with a teenager attitude! Shes my angel and looks exactly like me! 

*^ this is our last family picture..yeah I rocked the permed hair do.

Enough about them this is about me! But no my family means the world to me!

My Hubberkins is in the US Army as a 13 Delta..Field Artillery, he has been in the Army for 4 years and many more to go!, we met a little over 2 years ago and right after we met we went through our first deployment together. It was hard but we know each other inside and out. He is an only child and his mom reminds me of a teenager. I have had a hard time with her, because she is very active, and still acts very young. But she gave birth to my Hubby and that makes me love her so much!

I never went to college and though I think about going to culinary school, I am very old school and want to be a stay at home wife and mom. My husband supports that very much and that makes me very lucky! I actually enjoy being at home and getting everything done so he doesnt have to. If that makes us happy then thats all I can ask for.

Right now Hubby and I are facing our 2nd deployment...that is literally right around the corner. Words cannot describe how proud I am of him! He faces these things with no fear, which makes me want to be brave for him.

Mouse Attack!

So yesterday I was trying to pick up my kitchen, because we have no furniture so everything kinda just goes on the kitchen counters right now, much to my mislay, I started right by the sink to lift a towel and find a mouse...I did a double take because I wasn't sure if I saw it or not...nope it was there! I jumped like a little girl, darted across the room and started screeching, laughing, and screaming while my husband just stares at me, just like WTF. I tell him there is a flippin mouse in my kitchen and I run up the stairs..now just to be clear...I am usually never like this!
Now I dont know why he got the idea to chase the mouse with a knife but next thing I see is him crouching on the kitchen floor with 2 knifes in hand, and I just stare wondering if his dumbness of running around with a knife is the smartest thing? Its not like the mouse knew it was a knife. Well hubbys brave idea failed, the mouse ran between our dishwasher and the wood between it, so we had to wait for it to come out....
It was about 4 AM when I heard it. The stupid thing was scratching at something, I wake up Hubby and prepare for battle...I will not chicken out or let Hubby run with knifes. Finally we see the little thing, its a baby mouse, but that doesnt make me pitty it, its stuck in our sink and cannot get out...Hubby starts freaking out as the thing gets closer to getting out of the sink, I reach for a bowl and slam it on top of the mouse and take off running! I knew I had it and did not want to touch it. I grabbed a cardboard piece to keep it in the bowl, but Hubby makes up his own plan and decides to turn the water on...Sad to say that mouse was wet, and probably had broken legs, and then I pittied the fool.
I asked Hubby if we should drive it up the street and release it into the wild, I had always learned when I was younger that they know how to get back into the house so you drive it far away from your home...nope Hubby threw it in our backyard that we do share with like 10 other people.
Our home has been a little odd, our garage door has been opening constantly so we are pretty sure thats how it got into our house, we must have been out of the house.
Just had to share my little 4 AM adventure. Do you have any 4 AM adventures?

Slipping Away..

You all have no idea how bad I wanna break OPSEC, how much I wish I didnt care. But I know that wont do me any good. Just plan on when this done, and he is gone that I will post a long one.
But for right now, we are spending every moment together! He is sitting 3 feet away from me, on our blow up mattress, flipping back and forth on the remote controls between the Oakland Raiders VS Kansas City Chiefs game and this Police Videos show. I find myself constantly staring at his cuteness.
He was so sweet with me today, we had planned on hiking this hill, yes its a hill its not a mountain those do not exist here at FR, because its right outside of post and its got old army vehicles on it, and we have talked about doing it since we got married but God had different plans I woke up with my back worse then its ever been, radiating pain, and I was going to push myself. I refused to let something so stupid get in my way of spending time with him...well he noticed, he looked at me and laid me on our lame blow up mattress and rubbed my back trying to help loosen up the muscles causing me pain, which it didnt work but it was very sweet. We decided it would be better to leave the hike for another day.
Last night we did a big date, and when I drove home I started crying when Areosmith's song "I Dont Wanna Miss A Thing" shot on my ipod...tears streaming down my face I looked at him and sang it with my whole heart. He doesnt do good with me when I am being a girlie girl and bawling my eyes out, so he just held my hand and listened to me. That's all I can really ask for.
 So I didnt want to make this a huge post, since I am cooking dinner right now, just thought I would write out a few thoughts. Lots of Love and support to you all out there reading <3

50 Free Christmas Cards!

So right now before Hubby and I take off on another adventure in FR, I am going to do one catch up blog!
I have been reading so many peoples blogs about how they picked out their Christmas cards and how they know exactly what they want. Well this year is my 1st married Christmas! I wont have Hubby here to celebrate which really sucks but we have talked about how we can spend it together, since you all know being on Iraq time Christmas last over 24 hours for us!
I have not had the chance to use Shutterfly yet, but I have a huge project ahead of me as far as doing up Photo Books, Photo Prints, and also doing a few Photo Gifts. I have plenty to do, and lots of time to do it. I have heard tonz on what good print quality they have, and how awesome their prices are and just by looking I can tell its definitely worth it! I am really super excited to do my own Christmas cards, but definitely having someone else set up the design and print them for me is the way to go!!

Heres the 3 cards I have picked out incase I win!

Oviouslly they are just very bright and simple and are not usually seen in Christmas letters which I LOVE!!
Also heres the 3 pictures I have picked out just in case!

If you wish to enter this contest for Free 50 Christmas Cards click THIS link and it will send you right to the fill-out form.
Now I got to head out the door, and will catch up on my other need to post blogs tomorrow!

My New Page!!

Hey so if you havent checked out my page you really should!!

I just spent the day (in&out) writing out mine and Hubbys love story! I'd love for you all to read it!!!

Our Love Story

I am really happy with how Erin at Moore to Love Designs did it! It looks amazing!!

I am about to run out of here for Hubbys and Mines last big date!

I'll be back on Monday to catch up with everything!!

Lots of Love!!!

Awarded-ed

I have received another award!!..

From Ashley over at Life as "Lucy" super stoked to get this! :) I am supposed to award more people and I feel really bad but I can't do it at this moment in time, I am so busy so hopefully I can do it tomorrow. I am supposta right 7 facts about me. :)

1. I dont know my natural hair color.
2. I am from Utah, and I am not a freaky weirdo...I think?
3. I can cook really well
4. I had a courthouse wedding
5. I love the 90's and the 80's!
6. I am very opinionated...but rarley express it.
7. I love HALO on XBOX :)

So thats all I can do for today, I really hope I can catch up tomorrow and get the rest of my blog set up. I gotta finish packing things today. Lots of Love and have a wonderful weekend!

Mil-Spouse and NEW BLOG DESIGN and Awarded-ed

 I am happy I have a new blog design! A professional one! Erin over at Moore to Love Designs did it for me! She was so patient with me with all the learning, and my NavBar isn't set up yet, but hopefully I'll have it up soon, I am still learning!

This week’s questions are:

1. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)

I had a friend who I hadn't met, who's husband was deployed with my husband that when they were getting ready to come home she offered to have me stay at her house so I could be here when Hubby got home. It made me so happy!!

2. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?

alot!! but only by like 5 miles.

3. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?

Nope. I had one that was Fizz at one point.

4. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?

LMAO, uhhh Optimistic Army Wife Named Liz....and it would never end, because thats just how I am.

5. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?
I had to go to the airport to pick up my mother-in-law.

ThanksKilling!!

So yesterday went really well!!! I woke up at 7am with the Hubby, they arnt doing PT anymore, and we made him food and sent him off to work, and I whipped out everything and baked for a good 4 hours! I havent been on my feet that much in a while...shoulda wore shoes.

Well I started with baking my 1st pumpkin pie, which kinda started me off nervous...I first spilled the Ground Cloves all over me, which then put things on the floor, which I didn't want to clean up till I have the pie in the oven, so I kept getting the stupid things all over my foot. Then I was worried because I could put all of the pie mix into the pie crust...which I know better and its not but you never know! After constantly checking up on it, it finally looked and smelled like a Pumpkin Pie! I was very happy with the end results!!

So then came the Brownies and then the Pumpkin Gooey Butter Cake, which I had also never made, but turned out to be quite easy!! Its my absolute favorite desert for Thanksgiving! I might need to make it more often. I was so happy with everything!!!

I arrive to my Girlfriends to learn that I need to go get my husband, and since they were still in the kitchen cooking I offered to go pick up her husband too. Which was fine with her, after I get both of the boys in my car, which is already crowded with Army junk. thanks Hubby :), They have both duffel bags with them and then a brand new oversized, I dont even know what you call it..but I can fit in the thing! Hoestly yay for the Army coming out with new gear every week...I tell my girlfriends husband I am picking him up, and he jumps in my ca, tells me how his wife doesnt know....well I just talked to her so yeah she knows...Apperently she didnt know?? So She went to go get him too, and called me and was MAD at her husband and was just frustrated. I felt horrible because I knew I told her, and he was in that mode of he knows its just frustrating, so it was pretty tense for a few hours. But dinner finally finished!

See we had a lot of stuff!! We all ate and of course us Girls got the dinner table since we did all the cooking! It was delicious!!
After dinner was done the boys wanted to watch a movie so while we were still cleaning up after dinner, the boys turned on a dumb movie...'ThanksKilling' beyond the most dumbest movie I have ever seen in my life!! Stupid corney lines, stupid killer turkey, and it was just horrible in many ways. So us girls put up with it for a bit, because I brought Sex and The City 2 for my girlfriend to burn onto her ipod, and they all knew we wanted to watch it. Thank goodness that horrible movie only lasted an hour! Then we got to watch our movie! All the boys were good sports about it, but my husband was not happy that we were watching it, and I got after him about being a baby with me after we had all just cooked a huge dinner, that literally takes ALL DAY to do. So he got on his iphone and played for a bit, which I didn't care I worked my ass off all day, I deserved some time off.

  Oh and yes I had to show you my plate :) It was really delicious! I am super glad we did this!! By the way...I had never had green bean casserole! It was really good, I am definitely going to make it for my Thanksgiving at home.

Yepp, 2 Thanksgivings in a year. I concider that lucky too.

So other then Thanksgiving, today is moving day! We are moving everything out of our house TODAY! Pretty pummed! We took our bed frame apart on Monday and so our bed has been on the floor..which makes me feel like a teenager.
My back has been hurting pretty bad, and I am planning on calling my doctor when the Appt. Line opens so he can check it out. Its been hurting for about 4 days now, which its not fun! I can barely tie my shoes without having to straighten my back out at least 1 once. I also cannot balance on a foot without making noises and falling over, which sucks when your getting dressed. I am pretty bummed I might have to go Tylenol, I didn't want to till I got moved back, but ya know how life goes. I don't want to take Ibuprofen, since I wont know till next week whether we will be expecting a little one. Here's for hoping but not getting my hopes up! I hope I'll be back in time for some Friday Fill-In Tommorrow!!!

Awarded!

So stoked that I was just awarded my very first award from Guinn and Bare It, I love to read Lacey's blog, and I am so stoked she loves mine! 

So thank you Lacey!!!

As with winning an award I have to write a little bit about me :) 

1) What is the one thing you love treat yourself to ...that you rarely do?

I love to treat myself to pedicures!!! I never get them anymore since we got married, but that's ok. I usually will give myself one day a week where I take an extra long shower and doing my hair up so nice and do my toes all pretty. Hubby loves it when I change the colors.

2) What Book have you read that has just opened your eyes or touched you deeply?

Wow its been a long time since I read a true story...but I read a bit of The Blind Side, and really enjoyed it!! But Dear John made me cry!!! The movie stays pretty true to the book.

3) If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?

I dont think I would want to be a drink or an ice cream flavor...seems like a short life to live LOL. But as far as an animal...I have always been fond of water! I was on the swim team, and I loved The Little Mermaid when I was a kid...and yes to this day sometimes I pretend I am a mermaid in the pool...So I would love to be a dolphin! They are so playful!!

4) What celebrity do you ever get mistaken for?

When Pirates 1 came out I had alot of people tell me Kira Knightly and I looked alike...yeah maybe with our lips but not anything else...I dont think I really resemble a celebrity.

5) Where is Waldo?

Waldo is my best friends boyfriend....proof?

HAHA yeah perfect question :)