So this is obviously the 2nd post of the day...but I feel the need to blog it all out again. I think writing is my therapy because it sure feels good to stomp out all my feelings on the keyboard....but I am not really pounding on the keyboard I know that, that is bad for the laptop. AHHH.
I love music a lot, I get it from my daddy, we both can listen to music for hours and never get bored...so you can imagine that right now I actually got my music going. Its drowning out the sounds of the 9 family members in my family, leaving me here to concentrate on what I want and what I need.
I have been debating back and forth on moving back to Fort Riley, because I am super stressed here, and its not very easy being here with so many people. It would be so easy to do, if I didn't have a little person inside of me growing. I guess I kicked into full mommy mode because I would absolutely love to just leave after the holidays and go back to spending time with other Army Wives, who's husbands are with mine. I have one army wife friend here, and sadly we have not been able to hang out yet because of conflicting work schedules. But anyways back to my point, I have to constantly be thinking about whats best for my baby, and honestly I have never had to do anything like this! I am so excited to be a mother, although I admit I am absolutely terrified about the birth!
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I miss my own space. I know the money we will be saving is great especially for the baby to get nice new things. I just wonder if this is worth it. I wont be living in my own area for about 4 or even 5 more months, and right now I need my own damn space. I hate that its totally a possibility I will bring a baby into the world, bring the baby home and have to share a room with my little sister still.
The option to moving back to Fort Riley is there for me. I know my husband wants me to stay here to be near family, but I can tell you...I have had 4 other wives tell me to come back because they will be there for me, in the delivery room if Hubby isnt here. I have the FRG who has already reached out to help me.
I love my family I do. But I really don't think being back here is right now for me, or for my baby especially if I am this stressed out.
I know this is just another bitch session post...but I need help. I have no idea what I need to do. Any Suggestions?