2 ways.

I can look at this deployment 2 ways...

1: My husband will be gone for a year. It will be emotionally hard on me. It's not fair. I will be lonely.

-OR-

2. My husband is leaving for a year, to fight for our country. It will be emotionally hard on me but a year doesn't last forever. It's not fair, but when I married him I signed up for this life too. I will be lonely but I have family and friends to help me through the hard times. 

I have always tried to look at the distance a different way. I think about the things I could accomplish in a year, like loosing weight! Things to keep myself busy. It doesn't mean I wont miss my husband, it doesn't mean I love him any less by not choosing to wait at the computer for countless hours hoping for a email. That's what my Blackberry is for :) 

I did the wait and the computer for countless hours, and when he jumps online to chat for hours. What good did it do me? Alot of frustration, from technical malfunctions...and 30 pounds, from not wanting to leave the computer.

Hubby and I did decide we wont do that this deployment because it literally weighed on us both! I would talk to him on IM on my phone while I was at work, and get frustrated with customers. I gained hella weight trying to eat fast so I could spend every moment I could with him. It also gave me an addiction to my cell phone. It was nice to talk to him almost every day, but when you run out of things to talk about for the day...it starts fights. 

Now I am not saying that no one should do this...again this is about us looking at our 2nd deployment differently then we did the 1st.

My husband would stay up for hours talking to me, meaning he wouldn't get enough sleep, and I have been lucky that Hubby doesn't go to bed until 10pm so he only gets 6 hours of sleep, almost everyday since we moved into our home. This time he deserves some well needed sleep. 

I know I will be lonely, but lucky the town I am from I have 2 girlfriends who's husbands are deployed. They understand and they will be there to help, as well as my co-workers who helped me with our last deployment.

I dropped Hubby off at work today, knowing I had to go to a "mandatory" lunch-in at the Battery for Battalion Pictures, and Family Pictures, and still bawled the whole way home, because I know how close we are, I know he will be safe, I know he is doing his job and I signed up for this when I signed that marriage certificate..but it doesnt mean I'll miss him any less. Its not even here and although I don't show him this right now, I already am going to miss so much about him. I am just glad we did a deployment before we got married, because now I know exactly what I got into.

So heres another picture of my hottie soldier!  I have to show him off even if no one else thinks he is a hottie! I think my husband is really amazing! He fits perfectly into my family! I love you solider boy!!!